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  Apr 2020 Haylin
Lily
Dancing, you are Spring;
Birds flock to see your song, yet
Night falls and silence-

Silence but for the
Stars and moon who mock us in
Our bed, our Winter.
This is a poem I wrote for my college poetry class (which is now online) a few days ago.  I want us all to remember that these hard times are a reason for us to come together and unite; be the kindness that someone else is needing in their day. :) Thank you all, as always, for reading my poetry.
  Mar 2020 Haylin
Lily
The man was leaning back in his fancy wheelchair
So much that he was almost parallel with the ground,
And while everyone else who was
There for the church service was freaking out,
He was as still as a gym before a free throw.
His left leg was not present, his right one at an unnatural angle,
And my mind started to conjure up a bomb
That had thrown him through the air,
Away from his friends, his commander, away
From his life as he had known it.
He had large homemade, not quite mittens,
But knit sock-like articles over his hands,
Alternating orange and black yarn with only a couple of
Cute errors where orange touched orange or black touched black.
A slight grunt, a swift motion, and the mittens were off,
Revealing a left hand twisted into a fist and a right hand
In a white cast, hanging limp at his side.
His soft peppermint scent, large wrinkly face, and wispy
White beard was reminiscent of Santa Claus in the mall,
Though Old Saint Nick was never that far back in his chair.
His assistant was a frantic college girl who looked like she had lost a child at the park
And was trying to decide whether to ask for help or
Continue to struggle helplessly on her own.
Each turn of a dial or press of a button pushed the man farther down,
Until his feet were almost higher than his head.
Yet on the man’s face was the type of smile that a grandpa has
When he’s about to checkmate his grandson in a game of chess;
Triumphant, knowing, loving.
He must have seen me openly staring at his cruelly funny dilemma,
For he turned to me and grinned,
“Don’t worry about it; makes life interesting.”
I smiled back, not knowing what else to do.
As suddenly as a pitcher throws to first,
The man jolted upward, and his chair returned
To its normal angle.
With the crisis averted, church
Began, and although I tried to focus on the preacher,
My eyes and mind kept wandering to my veteran.
His one leg tapped to his own drum,
His strong voice belting out the melody on the hymns,
And a hard “Amen!” was heard every other sentence.
Happy.
He was happy.
He had one leg, two useless hands, was living in a place away
From family and friends, with much of the joys
Of his youth over, past, gone,
Dead.
But my veteran was happy.
His frantic college assistant seemed very pleased
That his chair didn’t have a repeat episode on the way out
Of the chapel after church.
He shot me a quick nod as he was wheeled out,
His wisp of a beard bouncing on his chest.
Perhaps he would have been a Santa Claus at a mall
In a different life, one without war, sadness, pain, hardship.
Maybe he could have been a more active grandpa to his grandkids,
If he had them; he could have played football catch in the yard,
Secretly baked cookies for Grandma with them at two in the morning,
Get on the roof and scare his kids hanging Christmas lights.
Maybe he could have done and been all these things, but for the
War, sadness, pain, hardship.
I know what the veteran would say to that though:
“Don’t worry about it; makes life interesting.”
Thought I'd write about a character I saw at a veterans' home church service this Sunday.  I thought he had a good lesson to teach, although he wasn't aware he was teaching.
  Feb 2020 Haylin
Grand Piano
Step 1: Get out of bed
Step 2: Look in the mirror
Step 3: Practice your smile
Step 4: Eyedrops to hide the red eyes
Step 5: Conceal the dark circles
Step 6: Breathe
The curtains are almost up
Step 7: Lock down the pain
Step 8: Ignore the weight on your chest
Step 9: Silence the screams inside of your mind
Step 10: Choke down the sobs
Step 11: Ignore the stinging in your eyes
Step 12: Swallow past the tightness in your throat
You’ve put on this show a million times
Step 13: Don’t let them see
Times up. Curtains up. Camera rolling
You know how when you’re not ok but you try so hard to pretend you’re ok that it becomes a ritual
Haylin Feb 2020
your fingers planted seeds everywhere you touched me
you watered them by whispering into my ears
and flowers sprouted from my spine each time you kissed me
Haylin Feb 2020
Your lips.
They're really pink-red,
Kissable.
Bite your lips,
Give me those eyes.
Place your hands upon my hips.
You know what to do
Haylin Feb 2020
Dear ex-boyfriend,
I'm sorry you had to go.
It wasn't fair, but I understand.
Your happiness was just as important to me
as my own.

Dear ex-boyfriend,
I hope you're doing well.
Never will I wish ill upon you,
no matter how much I wish I hate you.

Dear ex-boyfriend,
I'm crying on the floor.
My sadness is a black hole trying to **** me into myself.
I miss you.

Dear ex-boyfriend,
I'm wearing the makeup that you hated.
*******.
I do what I want.
Dear ex-boyfriend,
You gave me hope that you would come back to me.
Don't.

Dear ex-boyfriend,
I realized that I never needed you to love me.
I realized that I was right here to do it for you.

Dear ex-boyfriend,
I look back fondly on our time together.
I will always love you.
But you left, and please never look back.

Dear ex-boyfriend,
One day you'll find a girl better than me.
I hope she makes you happy.
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