Help
There are feeling
and I don't know what to do with them.
Please help me

Is It okay to think for myself?
Is it okay to be who i want?
Is it okay to choose my own book of the shelf?
But i'm guessing that i can't
Because you've taught me how to think
Not for myself but for you
You've taught me who i am
Not me but you
You've told me creativity is good
But then showed me what i did wrong
You've told me to think for myself
Then gave me a topic to follow
You told me to think outside the box
Then gave me a rubric so hollow

You're our second house,
Education is what you offered.
But we can't call you home;
For depression is a part of that offer.

There's a comforting feeling,
seeing that number on my phone,
feeling that panic,
closing my eyes quickly
and making a wish,
that I know won't come true.

it’s crazy how superstition works
any belief, sometimes even religion
can make you go completely bezerk

it’s 23.10hrs in the night
i’m lying here and thinking
it’s really, nearly time
ironic how I write this
for my mother always told me
it'll only come true
if you keep it a secret

but,
I just have to write this
and pray that you see it


It’s 23.11 in the depths of the night
I wish you were here.