She has songs stuck in her head all the time
Taunting her with lyrics that are hard to define
Screaming contradictions that confuse her
Would he really use her?
Shouting proclamations of love and remorse
She wonders if it could get much worse
She remembers him, the only one she ever loved
The words silence as a sign from above
There's no need to worry, she's in no harm
She's content and happy while she's in his arms.

Shall I compare thee to a Summer's sky?
Nay, I can't, t'would not do justice to the lover's eye.
Shall I compare thee to a Winter's night?
No, I shouldn't, it just isn't right.
A woman of such ineffable beauty could not be compared.
To worldly things such as water or air.
The fact that you exist is a sign of a generous God.
To let you grace the earth, take hearts with a nod.
Someone of your nature cannot be compared
Someone that only an angel could have prepared.

On the surface I am happy.
Its quite the masquerade
I'm the jolly friend, always smiling
To find a way
To veil my true feelings in a shroud of dismay
Because the surface is crumbling
Under the roars of self-hate

My mom died almost 2 months ago
I know she's gone but I want to believe she's still here
It's hard for someone to think that way when they don't believe in God nor does the person who's dead did.
But no matter what I think or know, I still feel her presence when I walk alone.
When I walk past her room or out on the porch
It's like she's trying to tell me that she's still her and she still loves me.
Because it's the most non-threatening feeling in the world
It's almost comfortable
But at the same time eerie that I feel anything at all
I try to distract myself everyday, but I can't run away
The fact that she's gone is the biggest pill to swallow.
And I shouldn't say that because that's how she went
Just a week before I caught her outside sniffing cleaners
Rubbing anything in her face trying to get high to distract the pain and she told me she'd rather die.
I threw the drugs away from her face
She started to cry
She said she wanted to see me grow up, graduate, have kids and THEN die
She said I understand her and that I was her rock
That I kept her going
I made a mistake
I know it's not my fault but I couldn't forgive myself
But, the day before she died we got in a terrible fight.
She went to bed that night with spite instead of support
I can't forgive myself for that.
I wish I could turn back time
But in the end I know she loved me
I just wish I could go back
And have her hug me again

Torture; the mark of a beautiful woman left on your brain.
Tearing chunks out but, it is fair game.
She had conscious to steal your heart in spite of potential pain.
But all she did was use you in light of her own gain.
You stuck with her because you love her, your feelings can't be tamed.
You'd break any cage for her despite how many hearts she's slain.
In retrospect it may be that you're the one to blame.
You made so many mistakes... too many to name.
You stayed with her because she had became
The only thing that made you feel whole with nothing to gain.
But gain, that's just it. Its personal gain.
You know when you're apart, its too hard to gain
Someone who loves you who shares that pain.
And even though she didn't love you, she certainly knew pain.

The fangs of my own mind sink into me.
I need some anti-venom or I'm history.
I try to fight back but it's to no avail.
The toxicity spreads; it's inevitable prevail.
I realize my fate, my brain gives up on me.
The anti-venom is  empty.
I'm history.