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 Jun 2017 ashley
savs
What the hell is wrong with me?

I don't want to care,
I don't wanna feel like this anymore

I can't ask for your help
because i would have
to explain myself,
and that would make it
ten times worse

I should just stop speaking to you,
but you did nothing to hurt me;
I'm stupid and i overreact
because I'm insecure
and, on my mind,
there's no place for me
in your heart

But what if,
maybe,
I'm not wrong at all?
 Jun 2017 ashley
Angel
Loving you
 Jun 2017 ashley
Angel
Why is loving you is such a painful thing to do?
but still forgetting you is a difficult thing to do.
Call me stupid but you're the kind of pain I won't give up.
 Jun 2017 ashley
Bec
Long drives
replay long
conversations
that sit with me
through longer
nights.
But your stay
was so
short,
sometimes I'm
not even sure
you were real.
 Jun 2017 ashley
Nathansha Dilip
It's not that I have lost faith and trust over the world
It's just that
I have learnt to not show the depth of the same
It's just that
I have learnt to act neutral
Don't mistake me
For I am not pretending
I am just hiding the scares
Of my honest past.
 Jun 2017 ashley
Blah blah
I still remember your last touch. That set my body on fire, and still felt like everything in me was at peace.
 Jun 2017 ashley
liv
i love him
he loves her
i want him
he always wants her
she is perfection
i'm just me
 Jun 2017 ashley
Tabby
Hold close
 Jun 2017 ashley
Tabby
It starts off so pretty,
So fresh and bright.
It withers away
When not given light.

Some days
In the dark of the night.
It fades away,
Without a fight.

Hold close to your heart,
Don't give it away.
Unless you're sure
It won't wither away.
 Jun 2017 ashley
Aditi
I find the glass to be half empty,
He finds the glass half filled,
It's the same thing,
Except it is not literally,

Each one of us forgets, conveniently
That the glass can be refilled
Just as easily as it can be drained empty

And it's up to us
But we are too busy clanking the empty glasses together
Till they shatter,
Or, try to drown ourselves,
When they overflow.


I take a step in,
He repeats,
We both try to co exist in a way,
That neither of us are actually leaning,
Both trying to be friends,
With strangers' acceptance of how one is
I like to chatter, he wears a cloak of silence,
Except there's not much difference between either.

And it's up to us,
But we are too busy screaming to override the unwelcome words,
Or try to dance our imagination on the tune of silence,
Away from the cruel intentions, camouflaged with soft words
Except there's not much difference between either,
We both are shaped by our hurt, and undone by happiness.

I find the life to be a continuation of misery,
Add in some whining and self deprecating poems
Different faces, worn by the same ghosts
Different paths, same dead ends
Pursuit of ever evasive happiness,
Life is never changing.
You think every thing changes,
It's just me who is always going to look the same
To you at least

And it's up to us,
Whether we remain the same or not,
To grow up and grow apart,
Or to Shrink in and fade away
Except I look around,
And I know for you, it's always me
And you look back
And know I'm the one who has always been there

I find the glass half empty,
You find it half filled,
It's the same thing
Except it's not literally.
 May 2017 ashley
Joshua Haines
I approach most desires
like a competition; can I
**** better than him;
can I be famous at twenty-
-three since he was famous at
twenty-four -- I must be able
to sink better than him.

God, it is exhausting. I
feel like I'm dancing with
a machine; a phantom that
I can never catch, for it runs
on my blood; my insecurities;
my passion -- and, boy, oh boy,
can I attest to having plenty of
  that stuff, ladies and germs.

I think, truly, that I am
encompassing the American Dream
I think is utterly flawed; that I think
is futile in nature; that I am sure of
is the closest thing to Hell, in this
Godless, spiritually motherless
dark shoebox of sudden collisions;
this space of useful and useless
results, splayed onto and into
our hearts, asking for reverence.

There is nothing  I want more
than to be sure that my importance
is not illusory. I am not sure if
I am real.
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