seems like everyday i got a new problem
no time to even solve the last one
my concepts clash
don‘t know what to believe anymore
cant trust others nor myself
nor my thoughts
they dont linger around
and i just move back and forth
my mood swinging
no progress
got no time to process
all this ****

people hate things they couldnt have

do what you want
opinions, won't be there after
you are dead

i need to be alone
bits and pieces of my soul
forlorn
need to regroup and reform
burn everything and built from ashes
rise like the phoenix
the light flashes
the darkness gone for a while

lost the urge to talk to people and became happier

who am i?
i don‘t even know myself
alone with my demons
how should they even know?
nobody is knocking on the door
there are worse things
than being alone
though the feeling
is known

my life’s a painting
not yet finished
but the outcome is clear
dark tones mixed with light ones
the light triumphs the dark
so it seems
a glimmer of hope
eaten alive from the overwhelming darkness that may be called life
the light gives hope
which is then demolished immediately
thinking it won the fight
but the war goes on
the more paint used
the darker it gets
only the painter and i
understand the meaning of it

i sit there
waiting
the clock ticks faster
time’s getting away
the heart beats slower
life‘s melting away
my mind and time never in tact
i sit there
waiting
waiting to know
what will happen
waiting to die
waiting to live
or waiting to lie and say i’ve never truly lived
waiting to know what will happen
after im dead and my poems still alive
waiting to know
if im gonna make it
waiting to know
if im gonna slit it

i know nobody wants to know
what im waiting for
but for that one kid, sitting in his room
thinking and waiting, that his life is hell
don’t think about it

write about it, paint about it, sing about it

i know lifes absurd
i know it doesnt matter
but i still
try my best
lifes weird
i know what the end has coming for us
but i sill try
searching for a meaning,
i already know
everything and nothing

wake up, look in the mirror,
this is you, if you dont like it,
change it

Time seems limited if not used well

burst into flames, step into it
be the flame
and burn the whole world down

nowadays nobody thinks about the world anymore. life became too static and the way to passive. the path is already there, surrounded by walls left and right. so why even bother to know whats behind them?

a bittersweet time
with a deadline
i know what it was
from the get go
still don't wanna let go
quick like ready set go
so much more to say
so much more to do
i count day after day and
before you move away
promise me
ill stay on your mind

we all get put in a box at birth
how do you except to grow,
if you never crawl out of it?

life is like a labyrinth
explore it all the way even
if you know where the exit is

could it be
that we all are lying
lying about out life‘s purpose
is it really family? Our jobs or just money?
what is it?
only few find out
before they meet the end

music, poetry, art
nothing of this matters
few lyrics to make you happy for a
few minutes
few lines to make you think about life for a few seconds
few drops of paint to make you think about what beauty is
just to forget about it later
everything will be forgotten
the only question remains
will you go through hell to make people think for a second or just forget about it?

i wouldn‘t have thought
i‘d think this about you
but I wanna just
skip this part
win the start
maybe not
feel the spark
I wanna get closer
but I‘m too close to you
can I maybe, feel more warmth?
honestly
somewhere between trust and honesty
I don‘t wanna get closed off
shut down
feel the cold

too much confidence,
resolves in pride.
too much pride resolves in-
isolating yourself,
not letting others help you.
nobody helping you;
resolves in death.

to be someone
you‘d have to have such
a need of being unique
need of being special
need of achieving
you have to be ready
to sacrifice anything
to achieve anything
you have to feel the fire
and step into it to know you if you are ready

and you will know
when the
clouds move quick
and the colors
of dark and light mash
and noise turns into silence
when the world seems balanced
perfectly even,
then you will know
that nothing is going to be

only if the door of the mind is open
you can change the inside

Prepare to die first to become good

the heart beats temporary
people must realize this as ordinary
their time limited
why choose to be a foe to the world
if you can think rationally

life is like war. if you fear it before you live it, you‘ve already lost

in a constant discussion with the universe
and i lose every single time

live life to the fullest
don’t lay there
strangled by the voices
in your head
unconscious
doing nothing against it

feel your chest ponding at night
your whole body
this is what keeps you alive
but your brain is what keeps you refined
people care when their heart fails
but not when their brain starts
to smell rotten, in its little shell

people love to think about the end of things;
end of the month
end of the week
end of the day

but never will they think about the end of their life and only sit and wait like fools til the day comes.

the past
is like wind
blowing towards you
one is stronger than air

when the time
of the tornado
comes
you have to dodge it
or it will vaporize you

in the middle of a  storm, in your mind, there are too many. You can‘t fight multiple wars in your head.
If there is only one,
you can run away.

too many storms, around you,
there is no way out.
you cant get out.

unless.

there is someone, with a umbrella, wanting to help you.

let yourself get helped

the mist blurs my vision
you are out of sight
she usually shines bright
like the sun

when i wake up
no where in sight

i want to write something
that‘ll change your life but
everything has been said in the past
but people still don‘t listen

The mirror can make you forget yourself

how are you gonna convince a whole generation to save the planet, when they are welcoming death already

a man is only then himself, when he doesnt give a ****

the illusion broke, shards of glass,
when i realize how fast the time passed
time and me we both flew by
a little too high
right now
can feel the sun burn
tried to reach for a star
when i noticed
the illusion broke
shards of the sky
fell through my hands
and i, with it

dilated pupils
so big they cover the mirror
it shattered to pieces
i grab it
my hand bleeds
i feel it
i dont know what i feel
i dont know what i look like
leaning against the wall
i feel the world
some call it life
when that feeling stops
i know that i am not

this is way too much to handle
i got other problems to scramble through
other issues
but instead i lay in bed all day
craving your attention
thinking its over too
even tho i saw you yesterday
we talked all things through
scared of being left
got me paralyzed
wonder what breaking up will bring me to

pressure so heavy
my pen broke

the record spins and spins
a spiraling hellhole

the snake eats its tail
eats itself
it reveals the self
gotta pay a high toll though

to see through the soul
the door
i got the key
but cant find the keyhole

need to pay a part from me
so far as my eyes can see
no **** left
than the irony