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 Jul 2016 Eleanor B
D
I let you go
 Jul 2016 Eleanor B
D
Laying on the bed, reading your wedding invite.
I recall the day you went silent and I threw my crown.
Stepping down and lost myself.

Today I let you go, my love.
Not because I give up.
I believe you cared and you still do.

Your silence did cut through my flesh,
Your strangeness burnt my heart.
But here I stand today ready to let myself heal.

Years of gathering broken pieces of my heart.
My lost pieces of love, wailing to be found.
Stranded I searched, and I still do.

I held on to you, like a stubborn child.
Your memories engraved, your doings encircling my thoughts.
Strangely never remembering our fights, I was partial.  

My heart wanted more, my soul was thirsty.
I found pleasure in pain.
I kept you alive.

What a splendid journey, my love.
The impeccable high of your addiction.
As I drowned, I found myself.

One day I chose to revisit my past.
Regretting the time lost to stupid fights, blaming myself.
I never felt, keeping you alive.

Stupid were my acts, unreasonable was my anger.
Childish were my demands.
A sinner, at your altar I confess.

Sleepless nights, result of a restless brain.
Blaming you for the love I dreaded I deserved,
For making me feel worthwhile.

Keeping your memories alive,
Redoing my past, for an escape.
As the odds increased, so did my grief.  

For the broken promises, and the endless thoughts.
U left without a word, so did my Tears.
You coward, I pushed myself to oblivion.  

I saved our love when the world sympathised.
I held on to respect, for u and our love.
Wishing you the best, I kept u alive.

My futile attempts to blame you, was a curse.
A part of me found pleasure when they blamed you,
My stupid selfish heart.

But today I let you go my love, I allow myself to heal.
You meant so much, you still do.
But life is more than just you and me.


A part of my soul is still with you, it’s yours now.
Keep it safe my love.
I’ll nurture what is left of it.

As time flies by, I’ll heal.
For a better tomorrow, for a better me.
I’ll strive with a hollow heart and a partial soul.

Thank you love, for the heat.
For never cheating my heart.
For the never ending  euphoria.

I know u cared and you still do.
When you found me, I found myself.
For your breath of life, I’ll keep u alive.

You made me believe in good.
To Love someone more than my being.
Surprised I’m to know my strength.

Entwined souls, living in the moment.
We headed together, Insane and reckless.
Towards our predefined end.  

I’m glad it was you and no one else.
You were the one, my wildest decision.
Oh my wings, my strength.

But today love, I let you go.
I was your princess.
Now it's someone else.

It’s time to put back my crown to rule.
U won't be forgotten my love,
but like any life chapter ours has come to an end.
My mind is a battleground
I fight all day and all night
            this is your own fault
My body shows my battlewounds
Scars and bones and scratches
            you did this to yourself
I need to eat
   but you can't
It's just food
      but it's not
My minds thin
         but you're fat
This is breaking me
            I'll fix it for you
I'm going too far
               you're not far enough
I need to turn back
                  that's not an option
Release me
                     not happening
I've gone too far
                        push it a little further
I can't
I            can't
I                           can't
I                                                can't
I                                                                    can't



                                                                           *I think you've gone too far
I'm a mess
she's behind every smile
saying "this is what it takes"
she's behind every smile
both real and fakes

she holds my hand
when my mind becomes weak
she holds my hand
telling me not to eat

i'm tied to Ana
by the lies i've listened to
i'm tied to Ana
there's nothing i can do

i fade away piece by piece
as Ana watches on
i fade away piece by piece
soon it won't be long

maybe i'm addicted
to the lies Ana shares
maybe i'm addicted
maybe only Ana cares

can't let her go
i only wish i could
can't let her go
heaven knows i should.
i know this one won't make sense to a lot of people, but it makes sense to me.
 Jul 2016 Eleanor B
Viseract
"Reach for the stars..."
A pity I can't because
I have a problem to deal with
And I can't be ignorant

I'm going to ask a few questions
If that's okay with you?
You may be saying, "why so nice now?"
Just wait for the abuse

Label this as YipYap,
I don't give a ****
Because I'm a predatory enemy
And you're literally a sitting duck

What I wanna know is,
How do you sleep at night?
Do you tuck your son in
Tell him everything's alright?

"Had a good day on the mean machine
And don't you know it kid,
That I managed, once again,
To be a cancerous little ****?"

"Apparently I'm starting to sound like
A badly scratched disk
Because punk, **** and woof *****
Are the only things I use to dis."

Like come on man,
At least be creative
Here I am, once again,
Rewriting your narrative

A story to be told
Been three days and it's getting old
Once was a front page hit
But now all copies have been sold

I thought as one grew older
He was supposed to mature
But you keep being worse than me
No sir, you ain't an entrepreneur

You can't construct ****
You just keep repeating
Even when it doesn't work
Your heart keeps pumping and bleeding

You play the pity party a tune
One that's supposed to warn
Everybody else about me
And how my sanity is gone

Go ahead, message my followers
They don't like you
Nobody in their right minds, with this knowledge
Would follow suit

Because you crazy *****
And a ******* funny ****
Tell me how you feel about me,
You ******* little runt!

Call me a woof *****
Do it, it turns me on
That's what I would say if I were you
With my head messed and so wrong

I own every name you throw
I wear them like a mask
So you won't see me coming when I hunt you down
And ******* in the ***

With words I use to ******
Theses words give me some pleasure
There's amusement in torture
It's infinite, a countless measure

Am I that annoying fly to you,
Buzzing around your head?
Like a vulture to carrion
Feeding off the dead?

When you go home tonight
Will you tell your son you're stressed?
Sit on his bed, hands on your head
Saying, "**** I've made a mess?"

I want an apology
Honest and sincere
Because in your words I sense no hurt
So keep going, I have no fear

You do not own me,
I'm Ronin Okami
A masterless wolf who owns
A vocabulary army

And we a duo,
Wolfspirit and I
And together we gonna smash you
By dropping from the sky

Surprise!
You know, Woody was abandoned by Andy....
Woody felt unloved
Abusing others ain't the way to find your
Andy mate
 Jul 2016 Eleanor B
Viseract
A sliver of air on the wind
Cold, but familiar
Then she kept going
Saying she wasn't good for me
Saying goodbye everyday
I convinced her to stay
And I stayed by the frosty air that was my
"Love"
My "Baby boo"
My Gabs
But today she left,
And now I'm colder than I was before...
They all leave... I guess she was no different
I love you Gabbi. Remember me
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