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 Sep 2015 ejrmaguire
Wretched
"She's gone."

I remember the time when you said that
the day she left you.
That was the first time that I saw you cry
that hard,
that loud,
Your voice resounded the four corners
of the bathroom cubicle
that it's as if it killed me—
the sight of seeing you die partly.
I was overjoyed
and a little disappointed.
And
as you pour your heart out,
on my shoulder, your bitter sweet tears,
i knew exactly that the moment
she left you,
she took your soul with her.
"She's gone."
but my love, so were you.

You were gone from me too.
 Sep 2015 ejrmaguire
Realeboga M
I guess not enough painkillers can take away a broken heart.
 Sep 2015 ejrmaguire
Realeboga M
---
 Sep 2015 ejrmaguire
Realeboga M
---
I've got my heart on my hands.
Not on a sleeve because I want you to see it properly.

But lately its invisible to your eyes. 
It's just not there when to you.

Let me tell you how it is.
With each silence a crack opens up.
With each moment with you the crack opens up and turns into a hole.
Within that hope, my heart is spitting endless pain.
It's beat is slow and unsteady, but in the sense that it wants to stop.
Because it hurts.

With each blood that drips off my palms leads to tears forming.
My hands are shaking.
My mind is working overtime trying to reduce the pain.

But it hurts.
It hurts so much that I pray for numbness.

I don't think I understand where I went wrong?
I've been trying to figure it out.
And I'm not seeing it because it's been my motive to make you smile and happy but it feels like all these attempts are breaking me.
sometimes i hate how
i can put my life on hold
& forget about my own well being
just to solve someone else's problems...

all the time, i say to myself:

"i am not jesus...
i am not buddha...
i cannot save everybody."

they call it being "kind"
but they don't know that helping people
but being unable to help yourself
can be a form of self destruction too.
 Sep 2015 ejrmaguire
Pep
Just know
       that wherever our worlds revolve to,
yours was part
             of the constellations guiding me home.
Like the stars,
       your light was a phantom of something
  I never actually knew,
                though it penetrated my heart so.
Posting some stuff that was removed by accident.
 Sep 2015 ejrmaguire
B
Untitled
 Sep 2015 ejrmaguire
B
The person who wants to hurt you the least
Ends up hurting you the most.
 Sep 2015 ejrmaguire
Lizzie
Meaning
 Sep 2015 ejrmaguire
Lizzie
my edges are tattered and nothing can restore them,
but I promise my message will be beautiful.
please overlook my fray and see into my substance.
 Sep 2015 ejrmaguire
hollowings
There was never a story so happy or so
Sad
as the one written the day She
Left.
Our coffee kisses tasted like hot chocolate;
Bitterly
sweet because She always added a double shot of
Espresso
and never told me. Her hair was a frazzled
Mess
because we had stayed up too late and slept for far too
Long.
She smelled like my favorite book and her
spine
was just as familiar. The day
Previous
She hugged me until I shook. I think I
Cried
too. That morning her October eyes looked
deadened
by winter. Our season had passed, and now She's
happy.
I wish her well. I always have, but the espresso
stained
my teeth. Her words stained my mind, and She stained my
Soul.
 Sep 2015 ejrmaguire
GaryFairy
seeing how self centered i am
means i'm more self centered than I thought
i find myself buying my words
then i give away the words i bought

poking the monster that lives inside
then loving the monster i fought
i find myself catching a beast
then releasing the beast that i caught

i guess that's just the way i am
i try to learn what can't be taught
i just bring my heart and my words
then i give away the words i brought
 Sep 2015 ejrmaguire
GaryFairy
the world is so backward
being forward puts you behind
looking upward, toward the heavens
hoping to find an outward shine
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