i've been listening to the same sad songs on repeat
& they're plunging me deeper into the abyss.
yes, i know only i can save me
but maybe i don't wanna be saved...

anymore.
maybe i just want to burn,
to burn in this abyss i now call home.

they'll ignore your pain while you're alive.
but come to your grave with bouquets of flowers when you're dead.

don't fall for me,
i'm a mess.
i'm going to drag you into my mess.
i told him...
but he didn't listen.
& now he's broken & wondering how it happened.
but didn't your mother warn you,
not to fall for girls with fiery hearts?
because everything we touch burns.
now you're burning,
& all i can do is watch.

"they always leave.
they always leave.
they always leave.
they always leave.
they always leave."

i said to myself over & over again...
so that when you eventually leave, i'm not as hurt.

i'm so tired
of people using me to

        v a l i d a t e

       their existence.

i feel like i'm searching for him in every guy i speak to.
but they never measure up.
conversations with other people just seem so dull & boring...
i wonder if he feels the same?
i doubt he feels the same.

it's your fault things ended up the way they did.
you could've kept it real from the jump...
neither of us would've invested emotions where we shouldn't have.
& now you have me running around in circles, confused.
wanting me to still pine over you
when you know **** well it's been a while since i was through.
you want me, then you don't.
you wanna be my friend, then you want more than friendship.
when you're the one that sold me dreams of a relationship.
i said it's your fault things ended up the way they did.
steady searching for a man but instead i fell for a kid.