Believe me, the only constant in our lives is change.

Today the last seam ripped
From the veil of purity
I bound myself within
I’ve come to the realization
It was merely a handicap
Masquerading as a noble cause
So adamant not to play the game
My choices left me with no defense
No shelter
I’ve given too much credence to the interactions of chemicals
Falsifying chemistry
Turning a blind eye to deceits
In a way I was always aware
But I eagerly brushed those thoughts aside
Hungry for something else
Aching for some sort of natural connection
But when everything is coordinated and man-made
Manipulated
There is no such thing as innocence
Merely naïve souls unwilling to adapt.

1

Because I was born into poverty
I learnt some of life's most valuable lessons

2

Because I don't over-rate my skills
I suffer from few disappointments

3

Because I could not flatter nor compromise
some people kept away from me

4

Because I recognise the ways of the world
I am not easily fazed

5

Because I know life is too short
I don't fritter time away in idle indulgence

Last day in November
A day to culminate thoughts on souls
All souls departed remembered
For many are the legacies left behind

Legacies of those dearly beloved
once seen but now no more
Thanked for their existence
Loved for the links they left behind

Links thus born out of feelings
stemming from day to day dealings
Many are those thus gone by
Love connections they left behind

Gratitude tugs gently at the heart
of legacies, links and connections
breathing life in the present
breeding yet another to be left behind

Last day in November
A day to culminate thoughts on souls
All souls departed remembered
For many are the legacies left behind

Fumbling through a wilderness of pain
Lost in a desert of doubt
Desolate in a winter of anxiety
Buried in a coffin of maladies
Alone in a city full of people

Time and time again hearing whispers of doubt
Negative opinions and false truths
That I am nothing
That I will become nothing
Then die with nothing and no one

For out of the dust of the ground I came
And to it, I will return
For all things under the sun are meaningless
And in the end, toil means nothing except death
For this life is a lost cause

Then the winds of the wilderness increase
And the disorient of the desert intensifies
The death and terror of the winter do not relent
This capsule of corpses latches shut, trapping me inside
And the people of the city war against me

My hands tremble with the fears of my heart
My heart aches with the troubles of my soul
And my head pains with the false-knowledge I know
For I am filled with lies upon lies upon lies
And how might I ever know truth in the midst of such treachery?

It is then, in the midst of my hell
When the weight of this life has all but crushed me
And I am about to give up and die
About to accept these lies I've been fed
But then, the Lord speaks to me

I hear the voice of a heavenly nature, and it says;
‘Son, be still, and know that I am God’
Then, like a miracle
My trembling hands and unsteady heart are cured, and I'm stilled
For He has always been God, and has never left my side
And to the day I die, and even beyond, He never will

It feels like someone telling you you're beautiful,
like you're floating,
like you fall asleep smiling at the memories,
like when you're cold, and you picture their arms around you, warm,
like you're having conversations in the shower with yourself that you'll never have,
like you're checking the phone hoping they'll text first because you're too afraid,
like you're eating well and exercising well because you want look well for them because, they make you feel well.
like you don't have to lie anymore
like you can grow higher than ever
like you can smile in a photo and not delete it seconds after,
it feels like all of these things together, when you know they do not do the same.
it feels like you're holding your chin up, pretending you can just be friends, pretending your heart didn't decide, that they could make you happy, and whole. It feels like, with every breath, pretending you don't love them.
it feels like it hurts.

In every "opposite's attract" relationship, they say she's the yin to his yan,

He's mysterious and calm like the moon and she's electric and energetic like the sun.

But I'm a painter and I see ourselves as different colors and hues instead of objects and symbols.

You're a midnight blue; a serious yet earnest lover who parades in a facade of blankness.
.
Slowly and gently, I've peeled away the mask you wear, to reveal a sweet, loving boy I always knew was inside.

I am a vibrant yellow; playful and sweet,  illuminating the darkness in your life.

I've shine a light to your darkest corners and found the boy you hide away. I've reached out and pulled him up, showing him that he no longer needs to hide.

With taking my hand you've shown me, the trust and understanding I need, guiding me through my darkness.

Together, with your strength and my kindness, we made emeralds, raditating the world around us.

Together , with your seriousness and my sillyness, we grown shamrock, making us feel like the luckiest kids around.

Together, with you and me, we've created a forest filled with green apples, pines, olives and limes, making us feel like anything is possible.

These are the shades of you and me.

I
cannot sing
hardly speak
but my fingers
can press the keys
can pluck the strings
I
cannot sing you a love song
but I
can write a tune
so long
so dark
so deep
it'll make you close your eyes
make up your own lyrics
and you won't need to hear my voice
to know exactly how I feel