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Derrick Cox Nov 2020
Trust me.
You don’t want to be with me.
You say behind my mask
I’m a human who wants to love
And be loved.
It’s not who I am underneath,
But what I do that defines me.

You want me to be Superman.
Your Superman.
But I am no super-man.
I don’t wear glasses and a suit
like I’m doing 9 to 5.
Then change into my gear
to save the world from the bad guy,
get the girl
and live happily ever after.

That’s fiction, baby.

I’ve seen death
take everything and everyone close to me.
I’ve been disappointed
by two-faced people who flip the coin
on the trust I gave them.
I’ve been broken
by many who I opened up my heart to.

I promised
Myself
I would never let it happen again.
I built my cave
to live in alone
where it’s safe
and no one to bother me.

The only time I go out to have fun
is in the darkness.
I get into fights
with any joker who ****** me off.
I party till the break of dawn
I drink til my eyes are bloodshot red
I smoke my lungs out
And **** a bunch of girls
who can help me forget everything.

But you though
You do things to me
like kryptonite
that make me feel weak.
And it scares me shitless.
That’s why I need you to stop.

You’re beautiful.
You’re brave.
You’re good.

But I can’t be with you.
I’ll hurt you
maybe you’ll hurt me.
Either way things will be ****** up.

I can’t be your white knight.
But I can be your dark knight.
If anyone ***** with you,
I’ll be your vengeance.
And if you’re looking for a good time,
I’ll give you the best night of your life.
Just flash the signal on my cell.
Batman is my favorite superhero. Him over Superman any day. He’s human. He relies on his own skills and he’s relatable on how we are with ourselves. Although dark, he’s a hero. With me, I wanted to describe my curse with love. Something I knew I could never have because I know myself. So it’s better to be single, shut your emotions off, and not care.
Derrick Cox Sep 2020
Everyone! Everybody!
If you all could shut the hell up
For a just one sec,
I like to propose a toast.

I’m the designated driver to my friends
when they can’t make it home
I’m everybody’s therapist
really good to talk to
without questions or judgement.
I’m the priest you confess your sins to
because you’re desperate for forgiveness
or afraid to have a one-on-one with God.
I’m often asked how I’m so lit
without any refreshments.

I’m clear as *****.
I don’t need anything extra
to tell the truth
to have a good time
to say yes or no.

I can dance my *** off
and remember last night was dope.
The morning after
I grab my bottle of *****
drinking my issues, blessings, and my fun.
Sweet as honey going down.

So, if you think I’m lame
*******.
I’m actually quite the energy ball.
If you think I’m better than you
get your head out of your ***.
At least I don’t act like a fool.
You think I can’t hang with you.
No. Don’t get the **** twisted;
You can’t hang with me
if shrinking your liver
And burning your lungs like paper
is the only thing on your agenda.

I know you have cancer.
I have cancer too.
We all have it.
And it *****.

So we take our meds
to treat the symptoms;
to feel better
to feel like we’re one step closer
to curing the illness
To feel like everything is going to be alright
even when it’s not gonna be.

The difference between you and me
is that I take the shots
the bartender AKA life
pours into my glass.
I drink
and it’s sweet as honey going down.
Clear as *****.

But please! By all means,
drink what’s in your glass.
Light that **** up.
Just leave me
and my tall bottle of ***** alone.

Because I am about to get
shaken and stirred
until I fall the **** out.

Cheers!
Derrick Cox Sep 2020
My lady,
I appear to thee.
My face scarred and one armed,
but with a pure heart.
I give you this rose
promising to love you
‘til death do us part.

You reject me.
I am confused
and in agony.

I was driven by a motivation
that was you, my lady
in my imagination
the real thing I wanted to happen.

I appear to thee.
My face scarred and one-armed,
but with a pure heart.
I give you this rose
promising to love you
‘til death do us part.

You take me as yours
with your heart
not your eyes.
You make me beautiful
and happy inside.

When in reality,
I know I’m hideous
and broken.
Cursed
to dream on in fantasy.
Derrick Cox Sep 2020
It’s the 4th of July
and I ride with Summer
to Coney Island to watch the fireworks.
But she’s the only firework I want to watch.
The only one that excites me.
Her kisses are a flame
burning my flesh
a crimson passion that makes us sweat
with all our hot ***.

August is here
and Summer’s touch is warm air
brushing against my skin
saying she loves me
I can feel her presence every morning
when she is about to wake me up
to go out with her.
Let it be wet and warm in the water
our footprints leaving trails in the sand
Dancing on the floor
like there’s nothing and no one around us,
but us.

I can do this with her forever,
but it’s now September.
I know Summer has to leave,
but I want her to stay.
I love her.

I look at her eyes
as they shine at me like the sun
A light that makes me smile
brightening my world.
She’s gorgeous.
I know she’ll be back
and I’ll be waiting;
just as we both have
year after year.

Leaves are falling in October
And I’ve terribly missed
Her.
I look up at the sky
to see clouds spread apart
and the sun shinning down at me.
A warm breeze brushes against my skin.

I love you,
Summer.
Derrick Cox Sep 2020
The alarm rings on my phone.
I want to stay here. With you. In bed.
But I gotta get up for work.

According to the mirror
I didn’t get enough of you last night.
The circles around my eyes are proof.
Don’t fix me breakfast.
I’ll make myself a cup of coffee.
Can’t have you distracting me today.

It’s not you. It’s me.
I stay up late at night
picking at my refrigerator
watching videos on YouTube
until I finally want you.
When I need you, you get cold on me.
I toss and turn
Eyes opening and closing,
opening and closing
until you come for me.

The middle of the day
and all I’m thinking about is you.
I hope you’ll visit me during my break,
but I must stay woke
My coworkers ask me
what I did over the weekend
and all I ever talk about is you.

Clocking out, I hear home, open my door,
and head straight for my bedroom
where I find you waiting for me.
I don’t care about a shower,
or brushing my teeth.
Clothes on or off, it doesn't matter.
My body instantly falls on you
with my mind taken to another world
where I can stay with you
for as long as I can.

Waking up from you
I feel great. And guilty.

I’m sorry I haven’t spent time with you.
I promise,
I’m gonna do my best
to focus on you everyday of my life.
No more coffee, NyQuil or pills.
Just me and you.
Just give me time to fix myself.
Okay?

Remember when we first met?
It was all arranged. I was a kid.
And I had to be with you
every school night at 8:00pm.
I thought it was ridiculous.
As I grew up,
I realized why I needed that time with you.
Because without you, I’m a wight walker.
You’re important to me.
Derrick Cox Sep 2020
I march through a thunderstorm
the same way I marched before
to face my enemy, the devil.

The wind is heavy and violent
trying to knock me off my feet
like a bully I dealt with in school.
But I stand my ground
And keep marching forward
as I have against them.

The sky is full of dark clouds
much like OCD, depression, and PTSD
looming over my head.
But I know the sky will change color;
a beautiful one.

I pass by people running
For their homes to take shelter
and wait for the heavens to have mercy
so they can roam outside.
All my life,
I’ve been running away from my problems
hiding from my enemies.
I have business to take care of
in this storm
and I will get it done
whether the light breaks the fallen sky
or not.
I wait for nothing and no one
And I will fight anything or anyone
that stands in my way.

I’m a stormbreaker.

Thunder strikes
Cowards quake at its roar
The sound reminds me
the clap of the whip
made across my back
as a kid growing up.
But thunder tells me
To be strong and mighty as Thor’s hammer.

I’m offered an umbrella,
but I’m not part of that academy.
I was always shielded from the world
I never took a risk.
I want to live. Freely.
I let the crash of rain
pour on my body like a shower
cleansing me of the filth
I’ve sustained from today.
Drenched from head to toe.

When my business is done
and this storm clears,
I finally rest
and watch the sun rise
on a grateful universe.
I’m aware there will be another storm
worse than the last.

People are fools
believing there’s gonna be sunshine and clear skies for the rest of the week
like the rest of their lives.
They don’t know struggle or pain.
It’s a storm approaching.

And while they will hide,
cover and fear for themselves
I’ll be ready to march again.
Because this ain’t my first rodeo.
I won’t let a storm break me.

I’m a stormbreaker
Derrick Cox Sep 2020
A river of milk and honey
and a fountain of coconut water
was open to any who were thirsty

Colored grapes gave into their feelings
then later gave birth to a drink
that tasted like truth
for mouths to speak

Cherry kissed whipped cream
while fudge, vanilla, and caramel
swirled in their *******

The pies were hot and ready
getting out of the oven
and got laid on the table
whiffing of apples, blueberries and pumpkin

Like a king on his throne
was a thick cheesecake
sitting on a layer of crust
with a crown
of strawberries and strudel

A jar
of peanut butter, oatmeal, and red velvet cookies
was out in the open
for any hand to dig into temptation

Awaiting on a front porch
was basket of
Cranberry, banana, and cornbread muffins
For the door to open
And be welcome into the house
where souls were craving
for something good

— The End —