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 May 2016 natalie
0o
Another redeye, hello Sky Harbor,
I’m home to say more goodbyes,
The sun is colder where I come from,
Or more willing to compromise,

Dressed up in shiny new sunglasses,  
And worn out welcome backs,
Adrift in that unceasing river,
That froze us in our tracks,

And there was something in the water,
But no time left in the well,
Just secrets we don’t dare to whisper,
And lies we cannot help but tell,

I never thought I’d live to see forever,
Or that I’d come so far only to lose,
The road was rougher than I realized,
I couldn’t walk it in your shoes,

Maybe I was too far gone to tell you,
Or you were too far away to hear,
The cancer claimed your lungs,
And now that air will never clear,

So I’ll keep retracing every footstep,
Looking for you where I lost me,
In the space between what I became,
And who I always meant to be.
 May 2016 natalie
Janine Jacobs
i am not your kind of perfect
i am strange and difficult
and somewhat terrifying to love

have some patience
just wait and endure
don't stray, strengthen your pursuit

you will find beauty
seek further
beyond the walls, for my waiting heart

albeit old scars may be evident
together the heartbreak of yesterday
will be buried beneath the ash of our pain

if after all this
when you finally see all of me
and love me still

i vow for the rest of our days
to throw caution to the wind
and stay true, to only you
 May 2016 natalie
Janine Jacobs
I have a dream
from which I refuse to wake

holding on to it so tight
that my reality is slowly fading
what drives me now
is what I see behind closed eyes

Titles do not impress me
what you do for a living
your bank balance or your car
the number of likes
or your amount of followers
these are lies that you regurgitate
to yourself that you've made it
self-approval for mediocrity

my question to you?
what does your heart ache for?

the more you focus on your dreams
the more the nine-to-five
only living for the weekend
paying bills
occasional holiday *******
becomes a sad existence on repeat

is this it?
each time i ask myself this crucial question
the lyrics from a song
the artist and title unknown to me
keeps ringing in my head
"there's gotta be more to life
than chasing this temporary high"

sadly I judge others
that doesn't see the world like I do
that fills their dreams with excuses
but I cannot be angry with them
since my life as it is now
is not what I wish it to be

as the bible say
"let he who is without sin
cast the first stone"

I have my head in the clouds
and my feet cemented to the ground
every part of my being
wants to throw caution to the wind
but whispers of doubt
painstakingly reminds me
I have studied so long
worked so hard
for this career
that is slowly
******* the life out of me

like a dying patient
hooked up on ventilation machines
who's heart is slowly giving up
each time I silently scream
do not resuscitate
i sadly ignore my own plea
and the shock of my responsibilities
brings me back... to this reality

and yet
I still have a dream
from which I refuse to wake
 May 2016 natalie
Just Me
- Today -
 May 2016 natalie
Just Me
Today -

I went out today...

I hate the world.

I went out today and cursed the world...

I drive my car with rage whispering in my ear.

I listened to the sweet sound of profanity as my hands gripped the steering wheel...

My feet yearned to feel my car burn through street.

And my heart full of the darkest evil passion, burned at the site of people in their vehicles.

I want to be home.

Im to cruel for the world.

I want to hide and keep my anger inside.

But the closer I get to home the more courageous my rage is.

I want to be home, and I want to forget the world.

I want to breath, without profanity fighting its way out of my mouth....

And I want to confine myself to my room and burn there till calm has found my heart.

Ill take off my shoes and take deep breaths and in an hour or so, I shall be me again.
Written yesterday. Also look for me on FB.
Search Life's Poetry.
Im just me. Full of love & Rage. All thats sweet, honest & so very complex. Enjoy me in my ride of non enjoyment of life.
 May 2016 natalie
Just Me
Untitled
 May 2016 natalie
Just Me
Lost in time what should have been the best years in a childs life.

Stolen innocence and damaged minds.

Filthy secrets and shame live where I feared.

My childhood not fit for an adult.

No childhood for me, my mind became old and weak on the horrible days of which I don't speak.

Just me slightly taller and a bit aged.

I've been this me since my innocence was stolen away.
I couldn't name this poem written in a few minutes. It just poured from me.
 May 2016 natalie
Just Me
I write now, without ink.

I write without gripping any tool in my dominate right hand.

My finger points and taps a screen and is made so that I make no mistakes.

But I am human and I'll find mistakes here.

And I'll write without writing, and share all of me without your phyisical view of me.

You will view me inside, but not out.

Shall I be beautiful using the tool that I grip now with my left hand, as my right pointer, points and taps?

If I use a pen, you will view me messy and sensitive.

For my penmanship is horrid and my tears fall plenty.

I write now.

I use no ink.

I write now, hiding just a little of the pysical me.

I long for the days that my hand touched paper and the liquid salt gave my pages character.

Back when each written word lumped my thought and every tear ripped my heart twice as hard as this tapping.

But I shall write without paper and I'll use ink again, when I am braver.
This is a little something im sure alot of us can identify with. I only hope I wrote this well.
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