Lost: Favorites

Apr 2018 Lost

kill the BS: this craft is the raft we hang onto

Apr 2018 Lost

False Poets

**** the BS: this craft is the raft we hang onto

there is no value in a poem that reads
_____
_____
____
M M l i f e s u c k s x x x n o p o e m i g o t

just

nerve; crap bs, a denial of craft

seek the intelligent intelligible,
kiss the sensational thrill that
emotion harvests with resonating tenses
that beg our brains to differ, sense

this claims,
there is no value in no words is
a hoax cloaked as art by the weak,
make thy metaphors metastasize,
my every cell, a preposition,
preposterous and precious and
comforting in their
privations and provocations

speak to us in alpha and
line our eyes wide,
with pictures at an exhibition
of a faun immobile and beauteous

let me hang on every word of yours and
let it be the raft that sees me happily
unsafe home

take your bs line poem
shove it down your silent voice

this is not avant garde; this is insulting

p.s. write me a smile and all will be_____.

#**** #bs #this #craft #is #the #raft #we #hang #onto

Apr 2018 Lost

Serotonin & Dopamine

Apr 2018 Lost

To be or not to be

Serotonin & Dopamine

Lust, attraction.. attachment.
I'm at the mercy of biochemistry.
Cupid with his arrow, shot my soul.
In a ridiculous fashion.

It makes no sense.. is it supposed to?
Flushes cheeks, my hearts racing.. hands are clammy.
Never met a soul I was close to.

The dopamine, could be the nicotine.
I'm blinded.. such a beautiful face
The adrenalin & serotonin coursing through my veins.
I find I'm tempted, temporarily insane.

Cupids star struck victim.
Vasopressin & oxytocin in my nervous system.
Tell me are these the drugs for long term commitment?

I just had to laugh.. in my experience, good things never last.
Like the ocean, my love for you was vast.
I guess cupid missed his shot
The time has come, your love went past.

Like*******, I'm sure there's a better way.
It was all just chemicals anyway..

**** love or whatever it means, Just to keep someone around who eventually leaves

Apr 2018 Lost

Secret Lovers' Ritual

Apr 2018 Lost

Sally A Bayan

Secret Lovers' Ritual

<3 <3 <3

She enjoys her morning espresso
while he savors his mug of cappuccino

she shapes his dimpled face
in her newly wakened mind
he imagines her big brown eyes
gazing like a buck...inquiring, yet dreamy

she hums a lover's lullaby, for him,
each morning, before leaving,
he lets his charcoal pencil play
on his ever ready sketch pads
draws her face with pixie haircut

they think of each other day and night
always......at the very same time

yet...not a word is said when their eyes
meet...not an effort done, to break the ice
they'd rather keep things within,
their coffee mugs...witnesses,
to their similar daily practices

what a shame...what a waste!

their elbows, their arms touch in haste
as they hurry....towards the quay,
the ferryboat takes long, they both wait
leaving their untold love go by
along with their unsung lullaby...

it happens daily...without fail
their feelings, bubbling as they sail
but...neither has the guts to bare

how could they let life go on this way?
content with just a secret love affair...
<3 <3 <3

Sally

© Rosalia Rosario A. Bayan
April 5, 2018

...a work of fiction...

#espresso #cappuccino #lullaby #sketch #secretlovers #ritual

Feb 2018 Lost

Sometimes I Hold My Brother's Hand

Feb 2018 Lost

Mims

Sometimes I Hold My Brother's Hand

When we're in the car
After we had an argument
And I know he's stressed
When he doesn't understand why our sister is on medication
Or why somedays I don't get out of bed
Or why we're back in court
Or why our parents are divorced
Or why my mother cries
Or why sometimes I have to parent him
Take care of him

Sometimes
On quiet nights
I hold my brothers hand
Because when I was young
I would've done anything
For anyone to tell me anything was okay
That I wasn't going crazy
That sometimes people just hurt
Sometimes I hold my brothers hand
Because when I was young
I would've done anything

For someone to hold mine

Because I know how it feels

He will not go through what I went through
He will not be raised like me

#hurt #pain #brother #family #stress #young #anxiety

Feb 2018 Lost

Dysphoria

Feb 2018 Lost

Tyler James Miller

Dysphoria

I wake up everyday, fix myself up and put my binder on. I make sure i look masculine enough with my button up shirt and skinny jeans on.
I wish i was like all the other boys that walk down the hall at school. Flat chested, tall, fit, strong with a deep voice. But instead I'm a C cup, short, small with a squeaky voice and get called a lesbian all the time.
How do people go to the toilet in public, i start getting a panic attack just thinking about it.
I can’t even go a day without freaking out, because someone said ‘she’.
I look down at myself…
god why am i like this, why can’t i be normal.
I want a flat chest, so i don’t come home with aching ribs everyday, struggling to breathe.
I want a deep voice, so i don’t get called a 12 year old girl.
I want to be tall, so i don’t get pushed and shoved to the floor.
I want to be masculine so it doesn’t feel like I'm getting stabbed in the chest from being misgendered.
All the other guys i see walking down the halls at school, are proud and happy, they don’t get told “but you still look like a girl” or get called she, or the wrong name. So why can’t i be like them, perfect and handsome.
Why can’t i just be me and be happy..
Why..why..why..
-Tyler Miller

#gender #dysphoria #transgender #trans #ftm

Feb 2018 Lost

Thank you

Feb 2018 Lost

Alec

Thank you

I wanted it to work just as much as you
And i thought maybe you just didn’t want it to.
I know that it hurts
And we could’ve made it work.
I get that yeah it’s kind of over,
But i also had fun while it lasted.
At least i found some new music to blast and
I want to thank you for talking to me,
And showing me some things that I didn’t see.
I still think you’re cute and a wonderful person.
You are hilarious and lots of fun.
So thank you, for being around
Even though we don’t even live in the same town.
If this is goodbye, then i bow and wish you farewell
And good luck in your journeys through life, however many times it may seem like hell.

#luck #bye #goodbye #friend

Dec 2017 Lost

hold your hand

Dec 2017 Lost

CP

hold your hand

If you want to feel come out with me
just for the company
I promise I don’t always bite back and fight. The raging fire is subsided she is neutral, for now.
Is this happiness?
I’d like to hold your hand against mine
Feel the creases and the patterns of your skin, even just for the night.

If you want to feel come out with me, I know it’s far too soon to say I like you but the way you make me feel
I’d like to hold your hand against mine
The last thing I want is to confuse you darling but it’s far too soon to say can’t we just hold hands
Do I cross your mind as much as you run around mine?

When we kiss I can’t stop laughing
Is this happiness?
I’ve been lost for a while, I may still be lost but I think I’d like to hold your hand just for a little while.

#coni #cp #love #poem #boy #crush #like #feeling #relationship

Dec 2017 Lost

Depression is...

Dec 2017 Lost

Natalia

Depression is...

Depression is were you want to be alone,
But at the same time you dont want to be lonely.
Depression is where everything is going right,
But you're still sad.
Depression is wanting to go out,
But at the same time not wanting to socialize.
Depression is feeling trapped,
Trapped in your own mind
and no one understands.
Depression is having scars on your thighs and arms,
Scars from the battle you fought.
Depression is having sleepless nights,
Depression is shouting for help,
But no one hears you.
Depression is fighting demons deep
inside you.
Depression is not something to laugh at,
So grow up if you think depression is just an act,
Depression is something serious.

#depression