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cr Nov 2014
i swear to god i'm not
envious of her i just
want to break her precious
fingers when she touches him
i just want to sever the
thinned space between
them i just want to shove
her from his grasp i just
want my hands to stop shaking
when i see them together i
just want to see him stop
gazing at her with eyes
brighter than moonbeams.

i swear to god i'm not jealous.
i'm not jealous. i don't want him, but i guess i don't want anyone else to have him, either.
cr Oct 2014
every night i see you in my
dreams and you write to me
sometimes and it makes me
feel as though the earth beneath
my feet was tugged from
me and i keep falling onto
shards of broken glass and cracked
heartbeats and yet there's this
cavernous hole in the gap in
my chest from where i tore out
my heart, shredding the threads
keeping my heartstrings together
so they could hold the wounded
***** there and throwing it to
the blood-eyed devil who
swallowed it whole and i am nothing
without the pain which has
molded me from ash and dirt
and dust

but i wonder
why love is still a thing to yearn for
especially because it hurts so bad
the thing about someone asking you to date them on a holiday is that when it's all over, it hurts so much to think about the special day again.
cr Oct 2014
tell me someone will love me
fully clothed
and

tell me someone will love me
with blood on my hands
and

tell me someone will love me
shaking, trembling, convulsing
and

tell me someone will love me
when they're searching for gold and i am rustic bronze
and

tell me someone will love me
with veins ripped apart
and

tell me someone will love me
with a starved stomach and empty eyes
and

tell me someone will love me
when i am dying
and

i'm asking you
//please love me//
cr Oct 2014
someone once asked me what
love is like and my breath
ripped against my throat and
it took me three and one fourth seconds
too long to construct some
well-thought answer, and i
said the one syllable i could
manage would fill in the lost
puzzle piece for the question:

fire

and god, love is a fire
which singes the insides of your
unromanticized stomach and it
lilts and dances and flares in
orange-yellows and red-blues
and somehow the self-intoxication
of the high from the burning
feels so right. at some point,

the flames begin to engrave
acidic holes in your skin, circular
cigarette burns in your lungs,
lick the linings of your throat
with its fire and it hurts so bad
you throw the cure on top of it:
water, and the forest fire dies
with you. and at
some point you light up
another match, let the flames
erupt again. but

for now, there's only
ash and dust and exhausted
eyes and bones with singes
in the cracks and puddles from
quenched flames and
i'd wonder why the fire stopped
burning

except i'm glad it did.
cr Oct 2014
i wanted to scream so loudly
the cells circulating my body would
freeze - sadly, the ice which
settled in my blood cells refused
to cave in. the weight of this
has not left  me yet and she
was more beautiful than a
monarch in flight before
she clipped her wings
clean off and the wind
from the act blew us
all away and i'm failing
in this attempt to discover
any merits in thinking about someone
who is unable to come home

yet i'm still texting her
"please come back".
i miss her still
cr Oct 2014
wind whistles through
the hollows of trees' tranquil
leaves and the silence cracks
against the coffin being shut
and i cry till my eyes
can sob no more
i miss her
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