You ask me why I eat my feelings?

Simple.

Food comforts me.
It doesn't beat me.

It doesn't mock me for crying.
Doesn't betray me.

It puts on fat to protect me.

From fists.
Belts.
Sharp
Words.
Past.
Present.
Future.

If I look like I lack discipline.

You misunderstand.

Discipline was never safe.
Never safe.
For me.

So I eat my feelings.
Of un-safe-ty.
Never close to
satiating
the hunger for love
inside of me.

How swiftly the strained honey
of afternoon light
flows into darkness

and the closed bud shrugs off
its special mystery
in order to brake into blossom

as if what exists, exists
so that it can be lost
and become precious.

by Lisel Mueller

If i kiss you here.
Will that brings us together?
Will our love be an ever after?

If i touch you there
will that bridge build faster,
for us to be together?

if this illustionary love be real
I'd be a thief, a forbidden deal
Holding a broken seal
Of the unspoken truth
Of everyone i'll hurt.

I don't want that, I'd rather be alone
And hold a heart of stone.
Be at peace to the dream out of reach.
At least i know how to love.

tonight I’m calling fearful souls
the peers of my tribe
there is chaos in the heart of stones we are casting
there is a lot of pain in unborn desires
we are trembling, we are holding our breath –
what does it mean to feel safe
we are dreaming and waiting
old mothers are screaming unheard
the tyrant is playing backgammon with God

I am searching for each of you in the safety of dawn
the beast with bottomless eyes is here
Inside
so difficult to grasp our soul
to endure this: a world of faceless people
we cover our eyes, mouth, hearts
bottomless eyes are smearing

the body as a battlefield
oh, we remember what we want to have forgotten
we collapse under the burden of our own fragility
the history repeats itself shutting down stories
so many stories of cancelled love

the slaughterhouse soul is too heavy
and I can’t remember the ancient joy and innocence
the simplicity of being
words have just exploded
and my heart is cracked open

and now I am afraid even of my words
of that which should not be named
the murderer of soul, dignity and poetry

I am afraid of staring into bottomless eyes
without my peers
without my tribe

My tears turn to crystals & glisten pain!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qV-Khs9Rqxs
Listen while reciting - Enjoy!!
-----

Alchemical Butterfly
wing in the sky
eastern diamond bay
we were born this way
everyone will cry

Shhh It's all okay
Garden of God at play
megalithic dao
mirror of now
everyone is gay

I'm tired of the human race
But have love for god
I want to leave this earth
but float among space
And look back, from a pod

Im forgetting all name and form
And feeling as if I were never born
I cannot tell if it is after or before
All is now wet, I smile as it pours
Another barrier between my place and yours

But thats okay I like it inside
Closer to my heart for my soul to untie
Where there are no clocks
because people don't have the time
Life is a lie and the truth is everyone will die

So set me free from here
the land of the sun
where people are blind
the land of the gun
where humans **** their kind

My soul is a boat
Distant from shore
Bending the horizon
onward to nevermore
no body to tote

Awaken, my children,
for the moment is right,
have no worries
wandering in the night.
Blind you may be
and hearts full of fright;
in time fortunes will steer
and you instead will plant
the seeds of fear.