"Whiskey please" I ask the bar man I sit down,
I gulp it down"another",
I look at the glass reconsider my options and say" actually
Give me the bottle",

I try to drown my sorrows,
Drown out the noise,
Drown out everything,
Drip,
Drip,
Drip,
There goes the bottle and yet here I am,

Still sat here,
With an empty glass.

I am afraid to express myself to the world because of unnecessary judgment.
Afraid to be captured by demons but they're already inhabited inside my mind, body, and soul.
so what am I hiding from?
I'll be judged regardless.
The demons are already here and I'm afraid they know all my deep dark secrets
but shhhh.........
deep down in my spirit I feel as though there is something much more scary than a couple demons and judgment.
I think its those thing called "friends"

I'm the majestic unicorn you only see in fairytales and dreams of candy lands and rivers flowing with milk and honey.
I'm the rose that blossoms in the dead of winter, while engulfed in snow.
The double rainbow that appears after an intense storm of emotions and weird feelings.
I am *unbelievable

there are about 140 people at this crowded after party
music is blasting .....but everything seems quiet to me.
I still feel alone when there are so many people that surround me.
its loud but the only thing I hear is silence.
I am prisoner to my mind and cruel imagination
but still I smile and try to blend in

An imploding heart
Makes a tight chest
An exploding heart
Makes you your best

Constantly craving the night with
it's darkness, and it's shadows.
The ability to steal away into the umbra
to be forgotten.
In the world of darkness secrets hide
is anybody home?
Does anyone see my shadow?
It cries for attention yet obscurity
is its salvation.
To be seen, is to be known.
I am not known, I am hidden in nightmares.
Blackness cloaks who and what I am.
Do you want to know who I am?
Yes?
I am the wickedness in your soul.

Do you remember?
Do you remember the hurt little boy crying in the corner over the pieces of his broken heart?
I do.
Do you remember that little boy crying over the loss of his innocence?
I do.
Do you remember that little blue-eyed girl quietly arriving and listening to him cry, trying to comfort him with all of her might?
Of course you don't but you know what?
I do.

Do you remember?
Do you remember how quickly she fell in love with him and his adorable imperfections and obsessions?
I do.
Do you remember how he seemed happy again?
I do.
Do you remember them holding hands for the first time, she made the first move, both of their hands nervous and sweaty?
I do, every little detail.
Do you remember the first hug, the first kiss, the nervousness of meeting the parents, the first date?
Why would you?
But I do.
Every day. every hour, every minute
I remember.

You can see the tremble in her hands,
the subtle twitches under her light eyes,
the small freckles on her face,
and remain in awe for
all of the beauty
in the world
lies in
her.

the razors were her best friends
the only source of control of the pain she endured.
her hair was falling out
her skin , pale as the snowy grounds of December.
no one ever cared
until they day she wore short sleeves and everyone got scared

I hope our love will be like a photograph.
with still smiles and memories that last forever.
this way our love will not end, but be frozen in time