Akala ko sa ibang dako ka na
Mga tinginan nati’y tila balong malalim
Pero nawawaglit sa tamang dako
Kesa umistambay sa puso ng bawat isa.

Sumasagwan ang puso ko
Papalapit sa tunay na nagmamay-ari nito
Ninakaw **** may pagpapa-ubaya
Hindi ko makuha-kuha
Pagkat minsan lang sumagwan paparito.

Nais bawiin ang puso
Pagkat ang sayo’y
Kailanma’y hindi naging akin.

there's more to seeing clearer
and being able to see you
sitting on the bridge of my nose
it's the perfect disguise
to hide my swollen eyes
tired from crying and too tired to try

I'll have regrets
the day I die
I'll have unanswered questions
that around me fly
I never went up to the moon
I never saw Napoleon's tomb
I never crossed the oceans deep
Nor stood on top of Himalaya's peak
I never thought we'd say goodbye
but time just slipped on by
And now I sit here feeling sad
wondering if life has me had

It doesn't matter anymore
The memories's weight
I can pull no more
I'll just lay down and die
and to this world I'll say goodbye
Then as I walk into the light
I will be full of fear and fright
But it will all be okay
Happens to us all on any given day

She smashes windows

and watches them fly

like tiny glass birds

and now and again

she likes to smash mirrors

that capture her eye

to see if she flies

the same...

I don't need drugs. My brain is drugs.

Maybe it's a side effect of a mother that dropped acid for the first trimester of pregnancy and then some.

Maybe it's a side effect of the abusive step father that told me I would never amount to anything and that I am *******.

My brain processes things at about a hundred miles per hour. In conversations I am always three steps ahead of what ever was said last. I make connections in things that are unconnected.

They tell me this is adult ADHD. They tell me I should be proscribed a pill to help my brain focus.

But focus isn't what I want. Nor is the drowsiness that comes with Lorazepam, the fog that goes with Prozac. I have been separately proscribed these things without ever filling the bottles.

But I fear that if I fix all my chemical imbalances, my medical maladies, that I will disappear into a fog.

Who am I without my OCD, without my brain over processing, over loving, over caring. Without the pain in my chest from another panic, my bouncing off the walls and singing to myself.

Maybe I am unwell.

But who am I without my unwellness?

Oh Mama, sweet Mama
I wish I could do better
These times when I have to be the backbone
Because you are in your room crying.
Oh Mama, sweet Mama
I feel so much like a child at these times.
These times when I play your role,
Adequate wife and nourishing mother.
Oh Mama, sweet Mama,
I am not fit for such a burden.
I hate to disappoint you,
But I fear I fail where you need me.
Oh Mama, sweet Mama,
I feel so old even now.
But someone has to do it.
Because if he carries on
The way he does,
It will surely **** you.
And if "mother" does not carry on
In the house,
He will **** himself.