My stomach hurts from the anxiety I feel everyday.
I can't possibly describe it any other way.
When I wake up from the two hours of sleep I had that night
I feel the pain creep in just like a bright light.
It shines it's darkness all around me
And whispers things that quickly drain my glee.
It makes my head and stomach ache.
It makes me think all the times I felt fake.
I get up and go to the bathroom
To look into my mirror of absolute doom.
It shows my face: exposed and pale
Because lately my state of mind has made me so frail.
I know it's a cliche emo thing to say
But why did my life have to end up this way?

She can’t tell who will leave
and who will stay.
Instead she chooses
To push them all away.

Being vulnerable
Is her greatest fear.
Her heart is too guarded
To let someone near.

So scared to be loved
Afraid to trust.
If she is broken again
She may crumble to dust.

i am locked within a cage
of my own making
my hands and feet are ******
from trying to climb these walls
made of my own bones and hatred

i am screaming please don't leave
but by the time the words
make their way up to my mouth
from this prison
only the word
leave
escapes my mouth

I told them all I just wanted a small hovel and a shovel with which to dig a hole to bury all the things I never cared to see again.

I said sometimes the things that make you who you are are best left forgotten and covered with soil,
regardless, (or rather, in spite of,) what they will one day grow into.
Nobody knew what cloudscape this particular beanstalk would lead to, but they climbed it anyway.

They reminded me about that one time when I mentioned that someday I'd grow wings and fly off into the imploding sun.

I told them all that I don't like being quoted.

Music is my life,
It puts me back together,
When I fall apart.

If I could I would take the stars , extract them one by one .
And fashion myself a gown of light for when the darkness comes.
A myriad of twinkling jewels to guide me on my way.
My talisman to keep me safe - protection every day .

If I could I would lie me down in roses Crimson red.
Reminds me that my blood runs warm as I lie there in my bed.
Engulfed in fragrant petals, blanket of soothing calm.
A salve to soothe in times of angst, exquisite floral balm.

If I could I would call the birds from high there in the trees.
Companions true to comfort me, here in my time of need.
Voices clear, an orchestra , United in their song,
Distraction from the darkness in my mind I've known so long.

If I could I would steal the clouds from their home there in the sky,
Detach them from their blue lagoon, soft bed on which to lie.
Comforter of fluffy white to sink down safe and sound,
To save me from the black abyss, ever swirling all around.