Never again will I say "I love you,"
Feeble was the passion returned;
But I swear by heaven above you,
I'll regard this as a lesson learned

Maybe I will miss him from time to time,
But he'll never hear it from me;
Perhaps I'll cry at the midnight chime
For this pipe dream that could never be

But for a brief time I flaunted a smile
Dismissing those dark hours of tears;
Happiness walked with me for a while,
Erasing the pain of lonely years

Why do hearts engage in such foolish games?
When someone wins, someone must lose;
And when our dreams have gone up in flames,
Self-reproach comes to collect its dues

Then Hope raised its head and spoke to my heart:
"If you don't play, how can you win?
Forget the past and make a fresh start . . . "
Oh, what the hell, let the games begin!

To live here,
Immersed
In the mind;
If it helps to
Ease your situation;
By all means,
Venture to
The place
Of unabated
Destinations.
Just know that
I won’t be there;
Waiting, for you.
Sealed the box,
Shut it tight;
Just know,
I’ll be out of sight.
Have no fears,
Dear.
Have no cares,
Never cried a tear,
Merely moved
To the next
Falsity,
Creating
A world of
Of endless curiosity.

How does it feel,
Now?

Yes,
This is real
Right now,
Or is it?
Still
Don't know,
No?
Is it all
Really "Relative?"

Is what
We see,
Merely small pieces
Of waves, Of frequencies...
Chosen by
The system...

To trust it,
Doubt it;
Or, none
Of the above.

It's my radio,
It's yours too...
It belongs to everyone?

We all see
Through
A different lens.

His is winter
As he paints snow-
Theirs is different
Since surviving
The war; Different
Each day.
Hers right now,
Is magical
As the wind blows
And colors
Impose
On her fate
Unknown.

Stations
Changing
Constantly,
In these
Realities.

In my head,
Yours,
It is all in
Our heads.

It's the stillness,
of his chest lifting
musical notes shifting
It's his eyes,
staring into mine
as if we were a harmony,
beautifully intertwined
It's his laugh ,
stroking the chords
of a beloved old guitar,
can't go very far
without it
It's his hands,
in mine
I can only imagine it
It's his heartbeat,
with this heartbreaking rhythm  
If only I could be with him

-----but-----

We have this silence

and
It's my prayers
for him to see
This Love
My Love

it's deafening

I am so sorry,
For all of it
And yet nothing at all

I'm sorry,
That I let you in
Opened up my heart
Let all that love pour out
Only to be left empty,
Discarded into a spiraling despair
As if I was nothing

I'm sorry,
That to me you were everything
You were my one source of comfort
In a world of hurt
And yet here I sat
With a gut wrenching headache
From all of this tumbling regret

I am so sorry,
That I was not enough for you
When you were too much for me

Hang me from the rings of Saturn.
Beat the stars into my eyes.
Make my screams a supernova,
Spreading over twilit skies.
Grate my skin on lunar craters.
Drown me in the milky way.
Do whatever you deem fit,
Just promise me you'll stay.