i can’t get rid of you,
feel the ghost of your fingertips on every inch of my body,
smell your cologne on my pillow case,
the musky scent whispering its way into all my dreams,
which all seem to be about you.
i taste you on my lips,
over and over again my body rejects food
rejects anything that
doesn’t taste like you.
i hear your voice on an endless loop in my head,
both the beautiful lies you spun into me
and the abusive, muddy words
you hurled at me like knives.
but the worst,
the very worst,
is i still see you in everything,
everywhere,
in everything.
everyone.
you will never leave me,
won’t take yourself out of me,
out of my life.
you won’t leave me alone,
won’t let me move on and forgive myself.
i hate you enough to hate myself for loving you.