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 Sep 2016
Ma Cherie
Speaking of broken hearts
and mended fenced in mem'ries  
I am painting skies
of tangerine, saffron
& an illuminated lilac hue
against the starkly contrasted crisp cornflower blue, stretching canvas that is
along with all the
other blindingly beautiful colors of a twilight sky

And those dripping cotton candy stratospheric clouds
Ice crystals freezing into supercooled
water droplets
Streaking the sky in cirrus whispers
..I hear them whisper, "hello"...

Blinding beauty
through unadulterated sunlight
I am fleeced like a lamb
watching in awe,
..in wonder
then stomping sounds
of coming thunder,

Finding depth and height
out  in the stratosphere
Blinded by the
After Light
or afterglow
affected by the amount of haze
I'm in a daze
...as I am reaching

High above the fading light
of a brilliant early fall sunset
I take a big breath
of that sumptuous air
and twirl my skirted legs
my painted toes
where I know
I am back
to solid ground

Appreciating the last time
I say sleep well
to you  my dear
summertimes sweet mem'ries
and the fun we had this year.

Cherie Nolan © 2016
Wow....idk. Felt inspired.
 Sep 2016
SøułSurvivør
Confessions of a former drug addict

I was an alcoholic
Did drugs into the night
I started at 11
Did anything in sight
'Til my brain was addled
I wasn't very bright
Soul sickness was my problem
Did not know wrong from right
But Jesus healed my spirit
I finally saw the light

I started as a bartender
For my family do's
I catered to their parties
And I began to use
I served up martinis
They could not refuse
Made 'em good and strong
Began with one or two
Soon I became drunk
And started to abuse

Then I did white crosses
Marijuana trees
I did angel dust
Also known as ***
No ******* or ******
But I did LSD
Discovered yellow jackets
And drank peyote tea
I couldn't ever get enough
And that was all for me
At 14 years old
It was catastrophe
Then I found religion
Known as Scientology
It was total *******
But I finally broke free!

I went for years not drinking
Had no acid trips
I loved a natural high
And no drug passed my lips
But life has twists and turns
Much pain and great hardship
I had to run away
Just took a couple sips
Embarked upon a journey
On substance abuse ships

I finally found the needle
******. *******.
I preferred the uppers
Manic highs obtained
I found I could not get away
And so my soul was stained

Then I started smoking it
I liked that best of all
It was like the peak of bliss
That high I still recall
But with every High
There's always a hard fall

I tried Scientology
The SRF and more
But my soul was very sick
Rotten to the core
I was finally Shipwrecked
On a hostile shore
I tried AA and Rehab
But they could not restore
Beaten down to nothing
I was finally floored

Then I met my Jesus
And I was so inclined
To go to church 3 times a week
And the Spirit shined
Gave water to my thirsty soul
My very bones aligned
He restored my body
And He restored my mind
When I finally broke free
Of the religious grind
No matter how the roads will turn
How they wend and wind
I have seen the valley
Mountains I have climbed
Now I know within my soul
His Mercy I will find

And so Jesus saved me
It happened overnight
I woke up a different person
With the strength to fight
I have new eyes to see now
He's restored my sight
No longer in deep Darkness

I have seen the light!*


SoulSurvivor
(C) 9/3/2016
Drugs are not the answer. Any drug. And cutting can be a drug too! It is foolishness to think you can "just say no". I tried and tried to no avail to do that. Without Jesus's help I was totally bereft. I tried every treatment program in the book. Nothing helped me. Especially not religion. I now have a relationship with Jesus Christ. I talk to him everyday. Sometimes even when I'm angry and hurt with him. I tell him so. I have a very difficult life. But I'm not using or drinking. And I have joy beyond anything I've ever experienced! Yes I have my bad days. But my bad days now are better than any good day that I had on drugs. I did almost anything to get those horrible shackles. But now Jesus has broken them off of me... I'm finally FREE!!!

I haven't been on the site and I apologize to everyone for not responding to their commentary. And I haven't been reading. I've just been extremely busy. Thank you for understanding.

I love and pray for you all!

♡ Catherine

-
 Sep 2016
L Seagull
I dream of falling without fear
Off the cliff of safety
Into the clouds of possibilities
That cover the bottom of this
Mysterious darkness
And on the way
I learn to dare and at last hear
True sound of my voice
Certain as never before
I'm alive indeed
To scream of that which
Never left the prison
Of my mind
Embracing those who hear
With open power
Gift to those who stayed behind
Not calculate my steps
Not count my words
To be squarely in the middle
Of that which I cannot feel
Do not belive
I recognize
The voice of truth
When tears hurt my eyes
When urgency to run or grasp
Overwhelms me out of my frozen casket
Not like anyone else
I breathe and see and feel
Presence of those
Who make my soul vibrate
With deepest notes
Worth all the darkness
All sadness
I ever knew
To feel so deeply
No reason can comprehend
But unavoidably I recognize
My destiny on the way to the bottom
When my body
Will breathe no more
But in the last second of my flight
I knew I lived
And loved as hard as I had strength to give
Of myself, inside out
 Sep 2016
Lora Lee
We are not really broken
until we are broken
       and then we mend
and break again
      until our bones
become smashed
to smithereens
mapped into tiny lines
         and cracks
with some darkness
        in between
white matter, crushed
             into jigsaw pieces,
laden with blood, with spit, with silt
until the despair
that fear releases
interacts with self-blame
           and guilt
And how they weigh upon us,
these layers of pain
like heavy blankets
on our contours, in the dark
the maze of our pasts
thick upon us
as we strive to envision
                             a spark
perhaps just a tiny glowing,
at first, a barely felt
shadow of light
a glimmer, a whisper of
           knowing,
a drive urging us on
           to fight
and all of our minerals
rub off in sparkling crystals
as we brush up
against the walls
of that ever-blackened tunnel
as we stumble
and steady the fall
feeling a subterranean rumble
a shifting of perspective
as we battle questions,
spinning thick
into the whirlpool of our yearning
into molten metals, slick
We might think we can snap
                           with the ease
of a lonely brittle star
that tomorrow
could be a tribute,
              in lacerations
to the last trace
            of who we are
but it can happen, as we
sit upon, plan the edge
              of our last breath        
                       deep, subtle beats
                        of truth rise up
                to repel the scent
          of death
and, in pulses of light
                  it drifts
bends in willowy arcs
upon our soul it trips
******* light out
from the dark
and all the sharpened hooks
that kept us chained
         to the abyss
are released as
              we break free
into heaven's rolling kiss
feeling the flutters
of a new, kind breeze upon our skin
as Life's vast impulse
courses through us
     and simply wins
and the only demise
we're mourning
is the death of
          of a dormancy,
a resistance to again
receive and give
as we embrace
those little, precious instincts
that tell us to keep on
and choose
            to live
For those precious to me who go through things unbearable but still come out ok. This is for you because I believe in you no matter what. May you always be truly ok...and may joy find the light of your being again

Several pieces were listened to, some are my "usual" favorites but they fit.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vyrpRzdvp5U
(Add the beginning of last link to these ;) )
www.youtube.com/watch?v=GAiceRuLX1I
www.youtube.com/watch?v=JVhDfzV941E
www.youtube.com/watch?v=4efGQgC5pd4
and, enough heavy!! www.youtube.com/watch?v=DfLcA3M8820
 Sep 2016
Little Bear
I don't think
there was any other
way
to have described
him
I could have
compared him
to the heavens
above
And to the stars
in the night sky
To joy
To love
and beautiful
blessings bestowed
But
he
Gave me
peace
deep
within in my bones
and a belonging
holding softly
to my heart
And so
i find
the only
way
I could have
described
him
was to call him
*home
If i told you i needed help
would you listen?
Or would your silence
Echo off the walls.
See my life is like a car,
Sometimes moving fast
And other times so **** slow.
If i told you i feel hurt inside
would you not just hear
but listen
to what i said
I need someone to care.
Im tired of trying to fight alone.
Im tired of trying to survive at a table for one.
If i told you
I cry all over my body
And each tear is a knife
And they are leaving scars on my flesh,
Would you cut me a bandage,
Sop up my blood,
Or leave me to bleed out.
If i told you
I was alone and my demons are taunting me
would you get me out
Or would you keep walking
or keep scrolling...
Im not begging for attention,
But one cannot be expected to be alone and silent like a life long detention.
If i told you
I was ready to confess everything
Come clean from my secrets,
Strip myself naked so you could see my imperfections
would you care even the slightest bit
Or are you so selfish
And so ignorant
To walk on
And leave this person to die.
If i told you i was ready to die
would you blame it in cliche,
Or believe it and save me from damnation

Its time to think.
It could be up to you
This isnt just my world,
Its yours, too
and dont you want to be
somebody
To someone?
I need you.
Because all of these "if i told you's
Are becoming
**im telling you
Help people. Dont leave them alone. Provide help. Depression is very real, and it is all around us. Repost if this means something to YOU
 Aug 2016
Akira Chinen
She was made out of ribbons and butterflies
She floated with a tragic grace and a melancholy smile painted on her face
She only existed by the magic and wonder of lost yesterdays
There was a quite storm of rage and sorrow trapped in her eyes
She found comfort in the fingertips of deaths cold grip
Though she could no more die than she could sleep or dream
And she could not sleep or dream for she was made of dreams
She lived in streches of hours and days
And inbetween seconds and flashes
She was neither here or there
But always everywhere
The ocean crashed and rolled within the threads of her hair
Tidal waves of mist hid her ever flowing tears
In moments of secrecy she prayed for the extinction of ribbons
And of a burning blaze to consume the last wing of all butterflies
 Aug 2016
Little Bear
if only we would love  
with our eyes
closed
and our hearts
open

we would not see
the outer shell

we would simply
fall in love with
the soul
the spirit
the heart
before us

for the rest
eventually falls away
Thank you all so so very much for all of the wonderful comments and kind words. I am so very grateful. I woke this morning to so many emails.. i actually thought my Mum had finally managed to use the email account i had set up for her and had sent me some messages :o)
but no .. haha bless her heart.. :o)

So.... again.. thank you thank you all forever, for all the hearts and all the love..
i feel it ***
 Aug 2016
HRTsOnFyR
So many creation stories,
Myths, tales and legends...
Too many answers,
Yet so many questions.
An excess of words,
With an absence of feelings.
Time to make my own song,
My own verse on these sheets,
One God means One love,
Just One heart,
Just One beat....
The truth is as infinite as our explanations of it.
Tired of mourning.
Tired of crying out in the darkness.
Tired of vibrating from the mouth and not the spirit.
Fear has no place here.
I'll embrace the unknowing,
I shall cast down my sorrows,
And get my lamp glowing.
 Aug 2016
GaryFairy
with torches burning from behind
there's none like me to stand beside
it was a shock to wake up to find
I can't find nowhere to hide

with pieces of mankind's designs
there's a monster living deep inside
I hate who made this life of mine
I just couldn't get by if I tried

made with parts of different kinds
brought to life by lightning applied
there's no peace left in my mind
I can't find nowhere to hide
 Aug 2016
GaryFairy
harvesting parts from my garden of carnage
farming the darkness of my own catharsis
revealing the marks regarding the tarnish
hitting the target, the heart of the artist

how many times have i died?
to show the "i" that i am inside
nothing to hide, i'm cut open wide
these lines of rhymes are my suicide

embarking on journeys to harness the farthest
charting the course that startles the smartest
imparting a sparkle with scars as a garnish
hitting the target, the heart of the artist
oh absalom, my son, my son.

cry out,  travel miles to

worship,  purify.



pray for him, the note

says all is disorder.



travel miles to tell those who

cannot hear, nor listen.



yet. if you cannot believe all

that is told, find a place your

own.



never mind the ancestors, absalom

my son.



sbm.
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