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 Dec 2015
Anastasia Anderson
Smoke it,
bake it,
or just bake yourself
hot box,
police knocks,
eyes redder than hell
feels like you're dreaming
do you got that good leaf?
do you smoke that good ****?
the kind that make you feel fly
with only one hit
what do you take with it?
maybe, a dose of reality
or rather, a shot of remorse?
a pinch of regret
for all those now closed doors,
smoke that good leaf,
bake in that garden,
feel the release
for never being pardoned
 Dec 2015
moss
Their freedom to tell their depths is now confined to a week.
But despite the propaganda, they are still afraid to speak.
On the outside, they are perceived as nothing but freaks.
On the inside, their lives are catastrophic, yet also bleak.

From their mountains of anxiety to their valleys of depression,
Nobody wants to listen to their pleading expressions.
They're forced to hold down their feelings with constant suppression.
So desperate to become invisible, it becomes an obsession.

As if their sickness was not as legitimate as one of the physical kind
Just because it plagues their body on the inside of their mind.
Behind their daily masks, they are continuously confined,
And the rest of their lives will be wrapped in a box and predefined.

They often wish things were how they saw them: nothing being real.
They use third person pronouns to describe how they feel
Because, whether they like it or not, they aren't made of steel,
But continue to futilely dance around the solar system's wheel.
I meant to post this earlier in the week, but I've been busy. Supposedly, this was "Mental Health Week" in case you weren't aware. It really bothers me that it's such a social taboo to talk about mental illness any other week of the year, and even during that week, it seems most people are just helping "raise awareness" by retweeting or sharing, but it's still always something that no one wants to admit that they themselves have problems with as if it's not as legitimate as some physical ailment like the flu or even cancer if you want to take it that far. The more people distance themselves from a problem, the more distant it will seem, and then the people who have those problems will seem more distant, producing the opposite effect that was intended. Good grief, do we need a special day/week/month for everything?
 Dec 2015
Nicole Dawn
No one wants a cutter

Run, run
As fast as you can
One look at my scars
And everyone will leave

No one wants a cutter

Watch me bleed
And walk away
You said you care
But I know you lied

No one wants a cutter

See my tears
You'll just leave
Because no one ever cares
And no one ever stays

No one wants a cutter

I'll slit my wrists
You won't shed a tear
You'll smile in relief
That burden is gone

*No one wants a cutter
 Dec 2015
Free Bird
What do you do

When inside you're empty
When running feels tempting
When it feels like you can't win

When everything feels so mundane
Everyday is the same
Like a broken record is being played

On repeat
And all you feel is defeat
When you want to take a retreat

Back to simpler days

When you're smiling through gritted teeth
Though inside, just beneath
The surface
you're wondering why

Slowly slipping is your facade
While all you can do is smile && nod
As you murmur,

"I'm fine, how are you?"
 Dec 2015
Matthew Rousseau
From a young age it's followed me,
with a scrunched back and a shrouded face
like a shadow
it watched me write alone behind the dumpster
cross streets when cars came,
and that time I played chicken it was there to comfort me

My life is the lamest tragedy
I walk this lonely road,
the only one I have ever known
and greenday got me through it back then
but now it all falls apart

we're apart and I don't think there's a remedy
alone through this life is the way I ride
and it may be the last time tonight

I write because no one listened
maybe I'm too emotional
my psyche has gotten out of control
tentacles reach from memories buried
and they come forth to haunt me

I just feel empty like a deflated balloon
used up, thrown out, and so **** blue
I can try to put light where there is darkness
but there hasn't been any light for me

So I will sit here alone at my desk in contemplation
I don't think it will help but I've been
my own company for far too long
so much that I stopped singing my song.
I am really depressed. More of a rant than a poem sorry for the **** quality.
 Dec 2015
Zane2976
I apologise
For all the hurt I have caused
I am sorry
For all the things I have said
I regret
Thinking that I might come through
I despise myself
For allowing you to believe in me

Forgive me
For how I feel
Forgive me
For pushing you away
I need to protect you
From myself

Nothing more than internal death and destruction
Something so pure would only succumb to my corruption
A poison seeps though my pores
Eroding away that which is closest

Don't touch me
Lest you catch my disease
Don't believe me
A veil of deception clothes my words

As the autumn sun shines
I wilt away
Powerless against the evil
Blinded by darkness' entirety



In the darkness the horrors swarm before my eyes
In the darkness the terror plays on my mind
In the darkness the tendrils weave themselves upon me
In the darkness I scream unheard

In the darkness they remove my flesh
In the darkness they tear out strands of my hair
In the darkness they burn away my soles
In the darkness I betray myself

In the darkness my body tears apart
In the darkness my pain consumes me
In the darkness my trust was broken
In the darkness I will never heal

In the darkness it dissolved my soul
In the darkness it stole my worth
In the darkness it befouled my body
In the darkness I lost myself
 Dec 2015
Zane2976
An idea creates a spark
My life is the fuel
My ***** ***** life
It catches on quick
Lighting a fire

Filthy and unclean
Soon to be amended

Burning
Burning away the guilt
Incinerating the pain
Ridding myself of every feeling
Cleansing myself for the end

I am clean now

I slowly tie a noose
Testing the rope
It's strong
It's gonna work

I am clean now
Nothing matters to me this time

I've let go of my ties
It was me who burnt them away
I betrayed myself
It is I who must be cleansed

I am clean now
Pure enough to leave

Knotting the rope to the steel pipe
Testing it once more
Pulling a chair up
Place the loop over my head

I am clean now
This is my end

I feel my heart skipping a beat
I am finally here
I raise one foot and kick back with the other
I hang here for hours

I am clean now
I am pure

I am the purest of all
 Dec 2015
Ayeshah
I'm sad today
I've no reason to be
I'm  mad
my aloofness
isn't due to anyone thing
or a person in particular

These ambiguous feelings
have a way
of causing
havoc on me
my life and relationships

Friends more like foe
I'm finding it so dang hard
to freaking articulate
how I'm feeling
or my reasons behind
what I'm feeling
I liked you a moment ago
In a flash
I now wish
I could strangle you

Impassivity  
maybe
rather say
it's more like frigid

yeah that's the best way
to describe
my bitter resentments
a moment ago I wanted to cook & clean
now
I just want to hide
I don't wish to speak to anyone
See me in whats going on
well we have a very
close acquaintance with madness
I'm so not understood
which is why

I've opted to be more of a recluse
I can be happy
then in a seconds it's gone

Laugh at a joke
then
be strictly upset
any provocation
will work
  I don't need a reason
to
dance in misery
flirt with darkness
or
make love to madness
I'll
find any excuse
to sum it up as love
No matter my mood some
how my mind plays these tricks
it'll finds way
every day to
be upset & hurt

Even when
nothing is wrong
  I'll find ways
that's just how it works

Yet I still wonder why

I'm drowning in regret

I'm sad today

I've no reason to be

Guess it's just one of
them days
Just one of my
Bipolar days
Copyright ©
Ayeshah K.C.L.N
1977-Present  
All right reserved
**** when one of your many aliments is Bipolar &  PTSD.....
 Dec 2015
Aeerdna
i am never alone
there are nightmares walking beside me every second of my life,
demons procreating in my head,
a freak show of feelings disguised like those clowns that terrify me,
my mind is the stage for a barbarian, ****** show,
i am an open field full of bombs that explode with every step I take breaking me
into little dark pieces of something that used to be warm and bright,
i mourn for my soul and I never remember how to laugh anymore,
i have this internal bleeding and there is neither cure nor doctor for it to treat it
i can feel how I am losing pieces of myself while running or walking or just breathing,
i can see the cage I’ve thrown myself in
i feel the sun burning my soul and I cannot stop it, I cannot cover it I can’t
run from it anymore because my legs are broken
i cry every day until I dissolve in my own sour tears
i don’t know how to cry for help anymore, I am tongue-tied
i am scared of breathing and scared of not breathing
i am never alone
they make me dance to their music until my legs give up and I fall, I crawl
into the darkness trying to hide but there’s no hiding from them
i know the only refuge
is in Death.
 Dec 2015
Brandi R Lowry
I lost myself
Temporarily

Somewhere along the way

Between daydreaming
And self-discovery
My thoughts did go astray.

Spiritual compass compromised
And mentally so weak

My heart remained steady
My thoughts,
Discreet.

I seemed to be spiraling
Out of control

Treading on the depths of insanity

Desperately
I clung to faith

Only in silence
Did I weep.

Wearing the mask of courage
Yet feeling frail and meak

I tried to fill
The void in my soul
But failed so miserably

Still I carried onward
Attempting to mask the pain

I no longer had a place

My grace gone
Replaced with shame

Mind like molten lava
Body tattered and bruised

My heart heavy
My soul lost.

I lie alone

Naked
Scared
Confused
 Nov 2015
Riptide
Staring into darkness
Set on sparing nothing
Poised in calmness
Frantically navigating for something
Preferably powerful
An idea of significance
Something to stupefy doubtfulness

Then it hits you
Significance something you brew
Just by your variable in the equation of the cosmos
Each life is a story to be told
To be leached by the unfortunate that don't possess an ink pumping heart
A story to change a life
A perspective
The world

You are a story
You are significant
So Let them leach;
And allow me to sleep
To be devoured by this darkness in peace.
 Nov 2015
Mystifying Chaos
The feeling of loneliness that resides.
The heartache that makes you cry.
The guilt that kills you from the inside.
The gut wrenching screams that shook you awake at night.
A momentary lapse of your moral rectitude destroyed your once happy life.
One mistake is all it took to fragmentize your soul.
Just some words.
Just some words spoken under the influence of anger that clouded your mind,
Were enough to shatter the world you worked so hard to build.
The regret suffocates you.
The flashbacks haunt you.
No medication seems to work.
No place to go.
The memories run like a broken record in your mind.
There is no path that seems to be right.
Except for an endlessly dark abyss leading to self destruction.
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