I wish you would leave and never return
I got rid of your letters i just let them burn

i returned your sweater that i borrowed last year
i did it without shedding even one tear

i packed the rest of your things away in a box
i threw it in the river and sank it with rocks

i deleted your number and all the messages you left
i may hurt now but i know its for the best

one day i'll look back and not remember your name
or any of the things you did to drive me insane

it wont hurt forever maybe just for a while
maybe in the future i'll think  back and smile

what you taught me was tough but it had to me done
it ****** that it changed us, that wasn't much fun

i am better now then i was before
one day you'll wish you could've loved me more

This beautiful smile conceals and covers
All the pains of disconnected lovers.
This beautiful smile, iv practised for years.
It shows itself now to mask the tears
This beautiful smile has been perfected to hide
All the pains that haught me inside
This beautiful smile is begining to break
I'm not sure how much more I can take
This beautiful smile, believe me iv tried
But it can not take away the thoughts of suicide.

Ugh,
We've all been on this same road
Yet, in a different speed
What messes me up most is what people chase after...
It seems they confuse what they want from what they need
I wonder at times, "is ignorance a disease?"
If you had it all would you be pleased?
Cross your fingers and drop to your knees
Speak to the lord and let your mind find peace.

(Hook)

Ugh, I've used this pen to write my untold story
Of the pain that came before the fortune
Of the mistakes that came before the glory
Those who now want attention that used to walk away and ignore me.
Ha...funny how things change
When you were young, heart was deranged
My mother classified me as insane
I was hiding behind my father's, God givin' name
Which took me to the top
Pressured never killed me, the injection never made me stop
Addict in his mind as its success he craves to find
Attempting to give his high school love his dark heart that resides inside (echoes)
Now I'm facing 25...
I haven't ever felt this alive

(Hook)

This is the verse that's ready to tell all
About my weak moments and drive that stalled
Wonder why she still hasn't called...
I've grown so much and dropped my flaws
I know you can change but you always carry
That inner monster, that's personally scary.
I hope I'm forgivin by my family and friends
I know time allows all to amend
Well, not all of my old friends
Some I wish the best for but otherwise could careless
Penny for my thoughts, I can't Payless
But you can walk in my shoes and obtain my daily stress
I wanna feel what the world feels
Hatred eyes and imperfection appeal
I'm akward as f&@k, so I keep my lips sealed
A starving artist hungry for a deal.
I've asked for prayer to obtain what It is that I want
For that I apologize God
The point I'm making is we need to overcome negativity, madness and greed
Let's focus on the beautiful, the wonderful, the idea of belief.

One more thing...

Watch the angel that sings,
Find your tranquil spot in your mind where faith clings and how good positivity brings
This world is full of flowers that blossomed hate.
I want ya to show the world
How much one gracious action
truly creates.

"Be the change you want to create"

no longer have I been uncomfortable with blending into the monotony of society as I've become substantially content in the concept of simply blending in, because when you're unattached and invisible in a world where things seem to matter so much, everything doesn't seem to matter, at all
if I am no longer noticeable I save so much time from being noticed by insignificant potential lovers that claim to be infatuated with my every attribute and characteristic, and it saves myself from believing those lies that set me on a useless love quest
in reality, does anything really matter?
why do I have to feel such strong emotions that I never wanted to feel in the first place?
what is so wrong with wanting to put a stop to all nonsense ringing in my head by just simply disconnecting?
however much I would like to be able to have the willpower to actually detach myself from those around me, I cannot.
oh how I'd love to be able to just simply forget you
but I can't, because you're everywhere
and I'm nowhere

I don't want to write anymore.
I hate using my words.
I just want to point and grunt
to indicate the things I want.