I don't think you get it.
Everyone else gets it.
You don't need to love life.
You need to learn from your lessons.

it can be so incredibly amazing
yet so incredibly isolating
to realize you’re one of a kind
and no one will understand your mind

Don’t tell me you Understand
Not until you’ve stared at a blank wall
With a blank face
For hours
And cried
Not until you’ve felt
Every little piece inside you break
And instead of feeling pain
Or sadness
You’re numb
Not until you’ve slit your wrists
Not trying to die
But not minding
If you do
Not until you’ve watched blood
Drip down your arm
And thought
It’s a nice colour
Not until you’ve done stupid stunts
And dangerous acts
Just to feel
Alive
Not until you’ve seen inside my head
The thoughts that live there
And tried
To die
Not until you’ve seen and felt
What I have
In this life
Will you ever understand

Don’t tell me you Understand.
Because you don’t.
I don’t

My thoughts
They are messed up
or
Am I messed up?
Say anything please, anything at all.
I just want to hear a familiar voice
I also want to know what's out there
Will you please talk to me?
Will you just give me one moment?
And then I promise, you can go
Until then your voice... will suffice
I don’t understand human needs
I never have
I didn't choose this
It’s as if they’ve chosen me all along
You chose me
You would never say though, would you?
You keep your thoughts inside that mind
How do you have the mental capacity?
Messy thoughts
It won’t let those thoughts out.
You’re guarded, why are you guarded?
Who made you suffer?
Made you the way you are...
Because even though it aches, it made you
so beautiful
Flawless, without effort
If you knew me before everything.
If we were together in another life.
My lips sewn shut, my hands bound
And my thoughts are disoriented.

I don't know what it is about you
That makes me want to move
Mountains
We can climb it together
I hope the feelings mirror
You are so many things
Best of all
Is your personality
I think I'm falling
But if I do
Please catch me

C. H.