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soul reminded
conscious divided
undecided
lie's re winded
sins of the body
sins of the flesh
impressed end
don't go spend
drink to lend
smoke to mend
crazy flashes
blue fashion
dotted wild spotted eyes
surely my demise
dreams fly
but I don't know why
 Apr 2014 Christine Nielsen
K
self harm is not beautiful.
it is not wonderful to be saved
it makes you feel weak
and it makes you feel sick.

carving his name into your skin
is not poetry
and is not romance

mental illness is not glamourous
or fascinating
or graceful

mental illness is sickness
anger, disgust

stop romanticizing something
that destroys life itself
You called it a love bite
Like the word hickey would burn in your mouth
and strip away the taste of her still on your lips

You called it a love bite
Because hickey sounded like troubled teens
and stained sheets

You called it a love bite
Because her perfume still stuck to your shirt
and you didn't want to take it off

You called it a love bite
because you loved her
But you knew she called it a hickey
and nothing more.
Let him go. Just because he loves you doesn't mean you own him. Let him go.
My sanity and trust have left me
They died with you
The only thing remaining are pieces
And my tears falling for you
I just wanna fly
I wanna roll
I wanna hear the thunder boom
But instead I place these roses
Ever so gently upon the stone
And I remember
I can still feel the flames
I know I failed you
My promises all worth nothing
I see that all so clearly now so,
I'm gonna fly
I'm gonna roll
I'm gonna thunder
Now that my sanity is gone
And the trust I had died
All I have now are the pieces
All my words proven lies
And if I could
I would
Fly to you and
Roll like the thunder
All for another chance to speak with you,
But now....
My words mean nothing....
14w
You remind me of the mysterious
Glow in the sky right after a thunderstorm.
 Apr 2014 Christine Nielsen
Kacie
Do you ever feel like the universe is mocking you?
Playing a cruel joke?
Because he’s the only one who makes you believe…
…Believe in anything and everything, and sometimes nothing at all.
And all you want to do is find him, hold his hand.
Because he says you’re beautiful, and you actually start to see it.
You thought you were doomed, but he proves you wrong.
Or right.
I’m still not sure.
And he’s so far away.
I want to find my smile in you,
But I wonder if I will be able to.
We are both in so much pain
And it seems like you avoid our
Problems. Even though we need
To fix what has been broken.
Patch what has been leaked.
And heal what has been hurt.
We are falling apart, and whatever I do to try, it seems like a failed attempt. You said you would be willing to try, but it doesn't seem like you have.
"I've finally found that life goes on without you
and my world still turns when you're not around."*
It has been 7 days without your presence.
In these
168 hours,
10,080 minutes,
604,800 seconds,
I have learned how to define myself without you around.
I have come to find that I can enjoy my days
without needing you to fill my skies with sunshine  
and
I can be proud of myself
without feeling that I need your permission.
I use to believe that no one could hold a candle to you,
but I have realized that your flame was just too big.
You shined so bright, my dear,
and you took up my whole entire world.
I was so blinded before,
but the wind has come
and that candle is no longer lit
and I have found myself in the darkness.
 Apr 2014 Christine Nielsen
Kacie
There once was a girl with rivers in her eyes.
She’d sit in a field and cry, cry, cry.
Her tears flooded the whole town
until she sank under her misery and drowned.

Her hair was made of the finest gold
Her dress of lace in a beautiful fold,
Her bones of silver under porcelain skin,
Her problems large and her happiness thin.

A boy full of butterflies and charm,
who wanted to cure her sorrow,
but what could be the harm,
in waiting until tomorrow?

He looked through her eyes and into her mind,
An entirely new universe of some kind.
Her thoughts blended into colors and lines,
And in her world everything was fine.

She tip-toed through the hallway,
And shuffled through the door,
But she couldn’t escape her heartache;
And she fell to the floor.

She drowned in her sorrows,
But floated up to the stars,
She danced on the sun,
And slept on mars.
I wrote each verse at a different time, but they ended up fitting together to make a story.
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