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Who am I to believe
That you won't leave me
With my heart still tearing
Fraying at the seams.

Who am I to believe
That you would follow me
All I can do is scream
At nothing, at only what I wish I could say.

You remind me of everything
All the regrets
And all the things I should have said
Stuck and lodged at the back of my throat.

If I begged you to stay
If you told me the truth
How will I know.
How pathetic I am.

I wish I was angrier
But all I feel are the tears
That ripple under my feet
Echoing all the doubt that I feel.

When will you leave.
When will I leave?
But I know if we did
I would stay waiting for nothing.

And I am in the dark again
Trying to forgive what you've done
But it only keeps hurting
It only keeps aching.

We promise we'd begin again
But who am I?
Who am I to believe you?
All I can hear from you now is lies.

The feelings I no longer wish to have
Come crashing down on me
Like my guilty conscience
At a confession booth.

Everything hurts, that's all I can really tell you now.

-Kore
I'm sorry
No one came
No one will stay
You'll all leave me behind one day
I do not need your love.

I do not need any love
I don't want your love
If you leave me be in my own terms
No more tears need to be wasted.

Maybe feeling nothing is better
I do not deserve to love.
Everyone leaves for a reason
And I am the only one I can think of.

I hear her voice
I see his eyes
All of it in your every move
All the ones that left.

I do not want your love
I don't need your love
I don't deserve your love
I cannot give you love.

I'm scared
I'm scared that you'll only think of leaving me behind.
That's really all it is.
How can I trust again?

In the meantime I'll numb myself.
I know what's best for me
I'll burn it into my head.
Something that I think is true.

I don't deserve to be loved.

-Kore
brain go brrrr.
Why did it have to be like this.
I was always meant for more.
No, I know I did.
I deserved better.

But it will never be over.
I know that now.
That what's happened has happened
And that there is more to come.

How the lines are laid out.
All set to stone, my fate in the hands
Of some omnipotent fool.
There's not a ******* thing I can do.

Maybe things will be better
That's what I always hope at least
Maybe this time, it never hurts to try doesn't it?
But honestly, who am I kidding?

There really isn't a single thing
I can do to change what's inevitably going to come
All I can do is do
What I've always done.

Drown in my self -pity like the coward that I am.

-Kore
its a cycle
I never realized until now.
How much you really changed me.
How much you really hurt me.

Its when I think about loving someone else.
I can only think of running away.
No matter how much I feel.

Even after everything.
I'm still trying to erase the memories you left behind.
Your shadow looms in my every step.

That maybe I do not deserve to love.
And maybe I never will.
I want to believe that I am wrong.

But not even the cards I shuffle in my hands will be able to prove me otherwise this time.

-Kore
aha
Will my best ever be enough?

Will I ever heal?

Do I have to live the rest of my life like this?

Do I have to keep feeling like this?

How will I ever love again?

How can I ever trust anyone after what you've done?

Where did I go wrong?

Where is the happiness I so want to feel?

When did it start falling apart?

When will I finally leave this all behind?

Why do I feel nothing?

Why do I feel everything all at once?

What am I doing here still?

What did I do to deserve this?

Can I ever feel normal again?

Can I actually live my life, like this?

Who is at fault for this?

Who is there to blame other than myself?

Am I ok?

Am I perfect enough?

Will I ever be satisfied

Will I ever be happy again?

The questions only keep growing in the cell of disarray that is my mind.

Every single one fall on deaf ears.

-Kore
Spain without the s
Perhaps I was never meant to be the hero of my story.
Heroes always die.
But I am still here
I can only wonder when it will be over.

Or if I am to be the tragic antagonist
In the story of another.
But one thing I can confirm
Is that heroes are never happy.

And regardless of whether I am
I certainly will meet a tragic end.
That's always how these things go.
I don't think my story was written with a happy ending in mind.

And thus one day
Just when things feel like they're finally
Finally going right for me.
I'm going to collapse again.

Maybe it is time for me to accept that things won't get better
and that they're only going to get worse from here.

-Kore
Tragic Comedy kinda beat.
I am shattered.
Just like anyone else.

But it does not mean that I am far gone.
All I need to do is gather the pieces.

When I find them all eventually.

-Kore
off meds right now
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