Lately
I've been asking myself
This question:
Do I still love you?

Yes,
My heart still skips a beat
Whenever your name flashes on the screen.
My cheeks still turn red
Whenever our eyes meet.
My lips still curve into a smile
Whenever I think about you,
Which I do.

But do I actually love you?
Or do I simply miss
The memories,
The good times we've had?
Am I holding on to nothing?

Unfortunately
(Or is fortunately?)
I don't know the answers
To these questions.

You

Whose thoughts
I yearned to know back then.

Whose prolonged gaze
Would make me blush, in those days.

You

Whom I never got to say goodbye to.

You

Whose path
I hope to cross again, one day.

I may have moved on,
But I'll never forget you.

I'm so sorry.

For avoiding you,
Ignoring you.

Feeling jealous
When you talk to other girls.
Yet not bothering
To make the first move.

When I do,
I'm sorry
If I appear clingy.

I'm not good enough for you.

But I wonder,

Does all this matter to you?

Sorry, for disturbing you.

I want someone
Who can read my eyes
And communicate with them
So that we can share jokes
From across the room
Or alert each other
During emergencies.

I want someone
Who can differentiate my smiles.
Real ones, fake ones
So that even when everyone else
Is fooled,
You won't be.

I need someone
Who can understand
That I'm a complicated,
Contradictory person.
That I may blow hot and cold
But in the end
I'll still love you.

Oh, save me
From the depths of
Immature
Teenage
Infatuation.

"Why should I care
About the moon?
It is merely a rock
Illuminated by the sun."

"Ah, then
Why do you care
About him?
He's merely a broken human
Pieced together by your mind."

Your name
Resides in the crevices of my mind
Like the lyrics
To an old favourite song.
It's sweet, familiar,
And brings back memories.
I'll always enjoy humming its tune,
And smiling a wistful smile
Whenever it plays on the radio.

But just like an old song,
It has been replaced
By the upbeat dance music
I listen to now.
There are some words
I don't quite remember,
Some notes I can't hit anymore.

Most of all,
It lost the passion
I once got lost in.