The swell of your feverish hands over mine.
Sweat soaking into my skin.
I’m clutching every part of you I can grasp,
Every part of you I can fit into my palm.

We’re sitting beneath the hollow tree,
Beneath the ocean of a sky,
Beneath the screaming black-billed cuckoos.

We don't say a word because we don't need to;
Just silent prayers burned between us,
Scarred into pale, malnourished bones.

I look at you as your sloe-eyed gaze
bores into the mountains of clouds swimming above us.

I want to kiss you,
But all I can do is lay my head on your shoulder,
Wishing I could build a home out of your collarbones.

I don't ever feel safe anymore.

Except when I’m forgetting everything, with you.

At dusk,
I tried to unlearn the way the gold in your skin,
Possessed your face in scintillant rays of spots.

I could count each one if I had the time,
But you’re already turning your spine stuffing back away from me,
And skipping back home

Without the bother or concern to look back.

for Tascha

deep in the pond of unhappy, swimming,
drowning the next contemporaneous
depression thought quickly swallowed,
desperation in quick glances everywhere,
dawn is no consolation but just another
daily drawing tighter of twine cutting
disillusionment


dear god, commences every thought,
delayed answers have yet to arrive,
**** the deity's non-responsivness,
dare not say out loud lest,
deserved fates be worse, be realized,
didn't know? how can that be?
disguiser par excellent, I am the original
deceiver

But I never think about

death or dying, for that would be
defeat finale, a statute to, a status of none, a
destiny some wick spark, still insists can be
deferred

differed always,
diffidently, but grasping yet at the
double entendre that is my
dark vision of a future already past

May 2015

The window pane leaves morning chills,
Dew fogs up the glass.
Little bumps across my skin,
Winter's coming in.

A crochet blanket, hand-stitched with love,
Strewn across my Duvet.
But when head turned left, there's vacancy
of someone right beside me.

The touch of another human,
This kiss from another soul.
Warmth that would be inside me,
Isn't there anymore.

Somedays I wonder how long it'll take,
till I meet the perfect balance
But until that day comes, i'll sink into my sheets
And let the mornings pass me over.

Paperdoll
You're the secret I hide,
In the back of my closet.
A shoe box on a dusty shelf,
Filled with memories untold.
A tree hanging on a rack,
Crumpling for me to come back.
Paperdoll
Cut out in college rule,
We dance amongst the shadows.
Swirl and twirl in magical lights,
That shine and bring you to life.
Your exterior is bent and wrinkled,
Beneath our star that twinkles.
Paperdoll
We tip toe around the past,
Hoping all is safe and true.
You'll scatter in the sunrise,
With no evidence love or trust.
Only the sound of ripping in my ear,
A cruel reality you're not here.

I'm aware that i'm forbidden to stare, as the sun and sky set in orange, i see you with her through my smile. Sometimes its hard to believe that you have her and i'm still here standin' still and alone.