I can't write poetry anymore, I just can't
When you told me you were sick of me
Sick of love, sick of everything.
Our past. Our future. Sick of it all.

So this is how you left me.
We could have
talked. You could have told me I stepped
over the line. I could have changed.

Instead of fixing we are too used to
calling it quits.
We'd rather watch ourselves burn than
to change and compromise.

I wrapped myself up in my insecurities
Forged a knife out of it
stabbed in your  heart.
I was too caught up in my own
illusion of fun to notice you were gone

You were too used to being on top to
allow a wild animal challenge you up
You wouldn't allow your ego to bend
down to your heart

We loved like it's forever, if forever meant
59 days, countless kisses, and two broken
hearts

I paid my therapist £600 for a piece of paper
to tell me what's wrong with me.
I don't care about money, it's just a figure
like the numb large sum
Sitting in my bank account.

How you ****** me up
I dream of you,
I dream a river of red, dyed by your blood
How much I wish I hit you
with that glass, again and again, on the
back of your head, until you fall down
When you locked me in that room
And stopped me in my road.

If I had a trigger, I would have pulled it
a thousand times over. No blink.
No,
they are all wrong. "You were too slutty"
"It's because you were frivolous"
How is jeans and a hoodie frivolous?
Tell me, how is it my fault
for a man three times my age to try
ripping my clothes off
at 16 year old?

Don't you dare
manipulate me
or I swear I will ******* up so much
mentally
You will end up killing yourself

Would you want to see me, wrist slit in a tub?

I would not, but I would be indifferent.
How is it my fault? It only shows you
value death more than life.
...
Babe?
B?
Come on pick up the phone.
Stop being silly ok, I didn't want you to actually do that.
Look, stop being stupid, it's nothing.
Pick up. B?
Are you ok? I am sorry, I didn't actually mean it like that.
B? Come on, stop being a silly kitten.I love you.
Pick up the phone, please!!
B are you alright? Do you want me to come down? Please, talk.

They found her, they told me. Wrist slit in a tub.
Her lips were crimson, her hair like a black dahlia.
Her body bathing in blood,
Bright red as the girl I first met, who fell in love,
the same girl I pushed down
the cliff of death never to come back.

I don't like the way
how I have to take all the blame for arguments
How you threaten to **** me up
Until I slit my wrist in the bathtub
then tell me I am the one who stirs all the **** up

You thicken the air I breathe
In
Out
You cremated the butterflies in my stomach
That I had for you, once upon a time
Dread filled my lungs whenever you talked

Now they can't see anything wrong, you buy me
Tiffany's on the first date made love to me on the
third. Your Loro Piana goes with my dress, your
Patek Phillipe matches my Cartier.
Smile and wave
Smile on, for the camera.
Even our cat can end up on Tatler's cover

But it's faultless right? Picture perfect, look at us.
Covered it up, no no, no one must see
Your deceits and my tears, how a tornado meets
a volcano, we are falling apart.
Fear. Anxiety. Scars. You leave me burning, and I
stab a knife in your heart

I wanna quit you up.

How can you cut me off
The way you cut off a stranger
if only hours ago my poem was still about you?
How can you leave me
The way you left your keys on the counter
Careless. Clinical. Cold.

Cut the knife a little deeper, come on
Don't be shy. Look me in the eyes as you bleed
my soul dry. Did I ever love you? You me?
Marlboros lit, tears dry, bitter and blood on
my tongue the way you used to mark me

A stray cat without a home. That's how you left
me on a cold Sunday morning. How you
Broke your own heart as well as mine.
Back in the shadows, back to vacant eyes and circling
souls wanting a piece of me.
But never again you.

You said you would track me down, hunt me
Like a prey. Even strangle him at the altar
So you could keep me as your princess.
I said I would get blood on my hands, defy gravity
just to touch your face. Even use my beauty
to ******, So I could be your trophy.

"She is mad. She is poison and a wreck." My heart
was the scene of a car crash, smiling
Through burning petrol and licking off the sweat
Lipsticks on check, girl dressed up her sophistication
to the nines, eyes vacant, seducing men.

"You are nothing but a cute kitty cat."
You pricked all my thorns and scooped me up
like a baby, arms sure and powerful, eyes on me
Heart pouring out, love drowning me.
Suffocating me in a tub of something called love

You undressed me, high heels, red dress, black lace.
Luscious wanton flesh willing under your palm. You
whispered love as you made love, you marked my soul
the way you marked my body as your territory.
You found the missing piece and made me shiver as you
Made me whole again.  

Be my Harley, I will tell you all the jokes a joker can.
Be my Bonnie, I will take aim and rob your heart like Clyde
"He is a ******, and she is mad"
You took my hand, kissed me hard and bit the vows on my neck.
"For better or worse?"
"Till death do us part"