Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
 
Dec 2019 · 25
Gone
Bethie Dec 2019
If I didn't value you in your life
Is it worth honoring you in your death?
I didn't care to see you
And now I won't
And I never missed you
But now I will
Why am I so stupid?
They're distressed
So am I
We're all suffering
Except you
Not anymore
You could probably beat all of us in a race right now
I never said goodbye
Dec 2019 · 145
Dead 2
Bethie Dec 2019
I still want to be alone
My grandfather is still dead
But now I'm not cold
I went inside

Now my face is hot
And my tears burn my checks
And my blood is boiling
Why did he have to die?
Dec 2019 · 109
Dead
Bethie Dec 2019
"I wanna be alone"
I whisper to myself
As my voice echos
In this empty space

My breath makes a cloud
And my body shakes
The tears on my face freeze
My grandfather is dead
Nov 2019 · 122
10 Months
Bethie Nov 2019
I haven't written a poem
In 10 months, almost
Which is the same amount of time
We've been dating

And in the past 10 months
I've learned a lot
I learned to show emotions
And to cry

I learned the joy of having a person
To love and to love me
And I also learned the complete and utter pain
Of constant distance

I learned to not fear companionship
Or intimacy
And I realized how much it hurts
To miss those things

So these past 10 months
Grew me
I was handed my greatest dream
And biggest fear
Oct 2019 · 226
Where Have I Been?
Bethie Oct 2019
I haven't written a poem
In a very, very long time.
Quite a bit has changed
Jan 2019 · 173
Greatest Fear
Bethie Jan 2019
My greatest fear, I've just now found
Is not of snakes or dark
It's not of even ghosts or death
Or of pain that leaves a mark

My greatest fear occurred to me
While I was out with friends
They wanted to go out to eat
But my curfew made that end

They said they might go anyway
For time was fading fast
It stuck me then, just standing there:
My fear, I saw at last

My fear is not of hurt or pain
It's not of lonely sorrow
My fear is getting left behind
While the world goes to tomorrow
Jan 2019 · 198
Just Today
Bethie Jan 2019
I don't know what to think
I don't know what to say
I never thought it'd happen
But it happened just today

I've liked him all these years
I watched and loved and prayed
He never, ever noticed me
So I lingered, quite dismayed

But now the tide had changed
And pulled me right along
So here I document the change
In this poem, my heart's song

It seems he saw me watching
It seems he sensed my love
It seems an even greater one
Heard my praying from above

So I don't know what to think
And I don't know what to say
I never thought it'd happen
Yet it happened just today
He asked me out, he really did
Nov 2018 · 3.6k
Stupid Doves
Bethie Nov 2018
I said this year I'm done with boys
I'm done with all this emo noise
And let's just say it worked quite well
But now it won't, as I will tell

I gave up all my childish loves
I set them free like they were doves
They flew away and left me here
I was content in this past year

The ones I liked became estranged
But now it seems the times have changed
For even as I left them be
They now come running up to ME

They cower under my commands
Do all my freaking dumb demands
I hate the every part of it
And now I think I'm going to quit

Before I go I have to say
If you want boys near you to beg
Just give up all your previous loves-
They'll fly right back like stupid doves
The irony isn't funny one bit
Nov 2018 · 371
Friends With Solitude II
Bethie Nov 2018
I have a curse, I have a friend
And Solitude's the name
He makes me wish I had an end
To playing this cruel game

He keeps me under his own wings
From him I never stray
He's my friend now, and though it stings
I go to him each day

He lets the wind come push me down
He tells the rain to pour
And even if I make a sound
It's silence, nothing more

He's my friend now, my only one, and for a time I've known
That even if I knew the world, with him I'm still alone
The reverse of part one
Nov 2018 · 124
I Won't
Bethie Nov 2018
I can't keep doing this every day
I can't keep this charade
I need to see You here with me
To see why I was made

I know You're up there in the sky
I know You love me so
I scream for You to take me out
I'm drowning down below

I stretch my hands to touch Your face
I strain so hard I cry
But even though I try my best
I can't. You're up too high

So now I lay here on the floor
A mess of dark and light
The light so dim I fear it's death
As daytime turns to night

I sleep the night away so numb
I can't see right from wrong
I sin and sin and sin and sin
And then, I hear Your song

It wakes me from darkened trance
I see how far I've run
I feel the light that comes with day
With light I see the Sun

And once again I live my life
Until at once I don't
I reach for you, but fall asleep
The Son will rise, I won't
Nov 2018 · 268
Friends With Solitude
Bethie Nov 2018
My favorite place, as you can guess
Is where I'm all alone
They say I'm antisocial, yes
Still loneliness is home

All by myself I live, I thrive
With people, not so much
I can't live like a bee in hive
I never got that touch

I run to solitude at times
To rid me from my mind
And even writing words and rhymes
Can't keep me with my kind

I've become friends with Solitude, and for a time I've known
That even if I'm left behind, with him I'm not alone
Oct 2018 · 208
Fated Friendship
Bethie Oct 2018
I never thought we'd end up friends
I thought we'd stay on separate ends
A guy your age, and girl of mine
This wasn't what I thought I'd find
I never meant to like you so
You liked me to, and this I know
And now you have a baby girl
Our lives are passing in a whirl
But somehow, someway, we're still close
Our fated friendship means the most
Sep 2018 · 122
Right Here
Bethie Sep 2018
These words that I write
The poems I make
They come from a lie
Like laughter I fake

Did that sound just right?
My grammar's ok?
The simile's in place?
I'm feeling afraid

I get so much praise
"Your poetry's great!"
Well thanks, but I'm sure
That it's just second-rate

I write what I feel
I feel much inside
My insides are death,
Corrupt as my mind

I hate all my thoughts
The words in my head
They strip me of life
And leave me for dead

The words that I think
Translate into fear
I'll spit them right out
And leave them right here
Aug 2018 · 1.2k
I Don't Mind
Bethie Aug 2018
"I wish the rain would pass us by,"
They say as droplets fall from high
I nod my head as if to say
I think so too, but as it may
I love the rain, the life it gives
The way it makes me want to live
Inside my head, so deep inside
I murmer out an "I don't mind,"

"This freezing cold is hard to bear,"
They say with hats upon their hair
I smile back, pretend to be
What they seem to expect of me
But where the cold is colder still
Inside my mind, the freezing chill
I whisper back my icy side
"But I don't mind, no, I don't mind,"

"I can't stand when I'm all alone,"
They cry out with a striking moan
I laugh inside but nod my head
(Their trifling ways are better fed)
This time I whisper oh so slight
An, "I don't mind, no I don't mind,"

These people, they don't understand
That life does not go as it's planned
And we can choose our path we take
And sometimes ones that we don't make
So take your path, and you will find
That you don't mind, no, you don't mind
Aug 2018 · 342
The City Makes Me Country
Bethie Aug 2018
I'll never live in the city
In the crowds and the bustle
I'd never ever trade my home
For the traffic and the hustle
• • •
I'd miss my ol dirt road
I'd miss the country air
Just being in the city
Makes me country-er, I swear
• • •
I'm really not a hic
But being in the city
Makes even country music
Go from ugly to quite pretty
• • •
That being said, I have to say
That cities aren't so bad
It's just that I'm a country girl
And home is where I'm glad
Aug 2018 · 734
Three More Days
Bethie Aug 2018
I told you just last night
That I am close to you
Not only as a person,
But terms of distance too

We have three days to go
Until we meet at last
I can only hope and pray
Those three days happen fast

The day is coming soon
I'll wait and wait for then
And when those days are over
I'll see you once again
Aug 2018 · 393
A Different Wish
Bethie Aug 2018
I used to say I wanted friends
To have a person to the end

I got my wish, just this past year
But now that wish has changed, I fear

For in my life these people came
And then they left me still the same

So now my wish has changed, you see
I still want friends, but I want them near to me
Jul 2018 · 260
More Than an Ex-Friend
Bethie Jul 2018
I saw you just the other day,
remembered how we used to play
Not long ago we were best friends
but then that friendship had to end
I miss you tons, I have to say
but still much more, I miss the way
we cared and helped each other so
the way we helped each other grow
It hurts so much to see you now
to see the way you've changed and how
these changes took place without me
Oh please, oh loss, just let me see
It hurts so much, please let me be
I can't, I won't, please, set me free
Jul 2018 · 267
sensory overload
Bethie Jul 2018
can you hear the birds in the morning
singing their worship songs
can you see the sunrise light stream in
that makes the shadows long
can you feel the grass blades underfoot
as you run without a care
can you taste the coolness of the brooke
getting droplets in your hair
can you hear me tell you that you're free
can you see my words are true
can you feel my love spark flames of light
not for me, oh no, for you
Jun 2018 · 692
To Create a Poet
Bethie Jun 2018
My future life with poetry
Began at a rummage sale
When I was young and innocent
So sweet and kind and frail

I had a dollar from my mom
To "spend it wise" she said
I looked and looked for pretty things
Her words inside my head

I saw some little figurines
My sister went to buy
I began to get a bit desperate
Until something caught my eye

I saw a book, just sitting there
A cover of musty blue
It seemed so sad and lonely
That somehow I felt it, too

I picked it up and bought it
Not knowing what was started
For in my hands were lines of gold
That from me would not be parted

Those poems helped to shape my life
And read them, I still do
But now I make my own to share
For me, and yes, for you
May 2018 · 193
In the Apple Tree
Bethie May 2018
When I'm in the apple tree
I know God is watching over me
When I fall he helps me up
My God is a good God

So when I'm in the apple tree
I know He's watching over me
I love Him and He loves me
Together in the apple tree
This was the first poem I ever wrote. For some reason it's stuck with me all these years, and I thought I'd share it. In my child mind I somehow equated the Apple Tree to life itself. (For a little clarification.)
May 2018 · 4.5k
I don't wanna be alone
Bethie May 2018
I like being alone
I love soletude
But every once in awhile
I get a feeling
I think it's loneliness

I don't like people
I hate socializing
But every once in awhile
I get a desire
I think it's for companionship

I sometimes want a friend
But I dunno
I'm not great with people
But maybe my answer is a person
Then I won't have to be alone
Apr 2018 · 257
Better Than Cocaine
Bethie Apr 2018
Love is a drug
I'm afraid I've overdosed
Strung out on a thing called love
Mar 2018 · 219
The Accident
Bethie Mar 2018
I still have flashbacks
To the worst day of my life
And I remember my pounding heart
And the ambulance
And how scared I was
I don't try to forget these things
But I don't like to remember them either
I clearly remember the hospital
And how I almost threw up
They said family members only
And I was so scared to go back there
It was the scariest thing I've ever done
But it's over now
And I'm okay
We're all okay
Just a little different
A little older
The worst day of my life is over
And it's been reduced to "The Accident"
An awful lot of memories are in those two words
Mar 2018 · 297
My Heart Has Spoken
Bethie Mar 2018
I thought that maybe I was over you
That the feelings I had were only few
Then I decided to go on my way
(It was a good idea, I have to say)
Then out of the corner of my eye
I saw you there, and my, oh my
You see, my heart, it jumped so much
It fluttered and danced for added touch
And I realized there and then that I
Could run but never could I hide
From you, though far from you I stray
My heart, with you, will always stay
Mar 2018 · 196
Hope
Bethie Mar 2018
Loss is a part of life
To lose is but to gain
Put down the gun and knife
We all will go through pain

Our lives once were so great
But now they linger by
We're drowning in the hate
And few will hear us cry

When joy from us will go
Our minds begin to pout, but
Remember, when the sunset goes
The stars will then come out
Mar 2018 · 165
I'm Doing Great
Bethie Mar 2018
"How are you?'
"Doing good,"
That's how it always goes
That's what we always say
It seems that's all we know

"How are you?"
"I'm great,"
I wish that we could say
What we really feel inside
But from this we never stray

"How are you?"
"I'm fine,"
Know what? I'm really not
That's what I meant to say
But it's only what I thought

"I'm good too,"
"That's great,"
That's how it always goes
That's what we always say
It seems we'll never know
Feb 2018 · 151
Little Girl
Bethie Feb 2018
Turn your eyes upward, little girl
See all the things I've made
Look at the stars, dear girl
Until your sadness starts to fade

Do you see the birds, My child
They don't labor or spin
And yet I feed them all the while
And they know this, deep within

Do not worry about tomorrow
Do not worry about today
Do not linger on your sorrow
But in My presence, you shall stay
Feb 2018 · 206
Dear Brother
Bethie Feb 2018
Thanks for all the good times
When we talk about our books
Or when we talk about our rhymes
Or when we cringe about our looks

We seem to have the same tastes
Or at least they're close enough
Our taste in music is your face
And our style of writing is quite tough

Needless to say, I made this rhyme
Really just mostly to be fair
And say that I've forgiven you
For the time you chained me to a chair

Love,
Your sister
Feb 2018 · 347
Sweet Valentine
Bethie Feb 2018
Once when we were little, we didn't like each other
Then we both got older and noticed one another
And then we became friends and I couldn't even see
Until your little sister said you had a crush on me
Then I realized you were a boy, and that I was a girl
And that my heart began to give a little twirl
You were the very best friend I've ever known
But then you had to grow up, and leave me all alone
I saw you were a teen, but I was still a kid
And then from that day on, from you I always hid
I grew to really like you, and yes, to even love
But you never seemed to see me, I was under, you above
And then I grew up too, but you I always watched
To you I wanted to talk, but conversation always botched
And then I went through terrible things
And so did you, our scars still sting
We both emerged more grown and tall
But next to you I still felt small
And still I do, and still I watch
My love for you goes up a knotch
But I fear to you I don't exist
What should I do, please tell me this
Feb 2018 · 333
One With the Stars
Bethie Feb 2018
One day I realized something:
That I love stars a lot
But they're so hard to find
(At least that's what I thought)
I traveled to the library
And I checked out lots of books
And read them all quite thoroughly
From there I went to look
That night was cold and windy
(I was unsure if I would stay)
But Cassiopeia then appeared
To me and showed the way
She showed me Ursa Minor
And Orion, standing strong
She showed me all the Milky Way
And I began to hear their song
The Seven Sisters called to me
And Pollux showed his light
Oh, there were many things I saw
That cold and windy night
I still love stars an awful lot
And above me I still look
I try to show the light I know
That they gave, and I then took
Jan 2018 · 817
A Happy Person
Bethie Jan 2018
I am a happy person
Or at least that's how I seem
I always have a smile
I live a perfect dream

I never am unhappy,
Or hurt or sad or blue
I'm just a happy person
Oh, if you only knew

If you knew how I sit
Forgotten and alone
And watch the world take all
The things I've ever known

I struggle with my faith
I struggle with the Lamb
I struggle with the very kind
Of person that I am

Regardless of all that
My facade remains true
That I'm a happy person
A person just like you
Jan 2018 · 377
To Lose A Friend
Bethie Jan 2018
I lost a friend the other day
We "grew apart" as some might say
So close we were, so much we said
And now that bond is very dead
Together we used to walk the road
To empty all our heavy loads
My loads have never ceased to grow
Just like the seeds the farmers sow
But now I walk the road alone
And I as well have also grown
I'm not the one I used to be
When friends we were, I now can see
That it was important to drift away
For us to grow our separate ways
As you grew left, well, I grew right
All this without a hurt or fight
But now I feel the hurt inside
A hurt that I take pains to hide
From you, for I still love you lots
And often you take up my thoughts
For you, indeed, have grown quite well
Like trees in spring, where flowers dwell
I miss you much, and often crave
The friendship we so gladly gave
For we thought close we'd always stay
But as we grew, we moved away
And now we found we're far apart
Old friendships left, new ones we'll start
Jan 2018 · 199
I Hate Hospitals
Bethie Jan 2018
I hate hospitals
I love the work they do
But I still hate them
I only remember their ***** floors
And disgusting food
The nauseous feeling
And the lingering death
The tear-stained seats in the waiting rooms
The automatic doors to the ICU
I hate it all
And I have the utmost respect
For those who work there
Jan 2018 · 214
A Child of Invisibility
Bethie Jan 2018
I was born to be unnoticed
A shadow in the dark
A photo that never focused
Fire without the spark
I am the nameless one you saw
Who sat there, all alone
Unnoticed by the crowded hall
A phantom, never known
You don't know me, no one does
Invisible I'll stay
You don't know who I am or was
Please interfere- I beg
Jan 2018 · 228
The Monstrous & the Gentle
Bethie Jan 2018
Outside the wind is howling death
A screaming gale of endless breath
Over the hill she comes and goes
What she is, but few may know
Inside her she is not so mean
As her outside makes her seem
Her soul is quite a peaceful one
Heard by few and friends of none

Inside I sleep in gentle peace
With dreams of gold that never cease
What I am, but few may know
For I only give what I want to show
Inside I am a screaming gale
A howling death of rain and hail
My soul is wrought with pain and fear
That none will know and few will hear
It makes me wonder: who is the monstrous and who is the gentle?
Jan 2018 · 1.2k
Look Above
Bethie Jan 2018
Most people forget the night
It is the time we go to sleep
They forget the stars above
And the beauty that they keep

The stars and planets dance
In their celestial homes above
And those who merely watch
Can learn, then, how to love

On cloudless nights they shine
With splendor and with light
But no one here below
Regards them with a might

What would our lives be like
If above us we would look
And give out all the shining love
That we ourselves just took
Jan 2018 · 646
The Rain
Bethie Jan 2018
Other people wish for sun
For cloudless days filled with fun
I, instead, wish for rain
In hopes that it will take my pain
The rain, it seems, has magic powers
That transfer down in peaceful showers
It fills me up, I overflow
It sees I'm full and then it goes
Where it goes I do not know
But this I know: that it will show
Sometime when I am close to death
And in my pain it gives me breath

— The End —