I think about my future children
And how they will come about.
Will I adopt, have a surrogate, or have them myself
Who will be my mate?
My partner through it all
Oh how I wanted it to be you.
But now that fantasy is over
I hold it together for those sweet future babies.
Grab another whiskey drink and dream of tomorrow

I still lay on my side of the bed
I’ve tried to lay on yours
But I end up over here instead
Can’t believe I would get mad
All those nights I wanted you gone
Recalling those memories makes me sad
Lessons learned
Never make mistakes again
I’ve found the new leaf that I’ve turned
It’s 3AM and here I lay
Writing to myself
Wondering what you would say

Please, leave my mind
Please, leave me alone
Please, let me be
Trying to return to my life without you
So please, let me let you go

I can still feel your heartbeat
Faster than I've ever felt
Loudest sound against my ear
With my head against your chest, I know you're nervous
You reassure what I already know as you whisper your thoughts
I can still smell your scent filling up my nose as we exchange our first kiss
Ushering me to the bedroom, I feel your heartbeat once again
I can still feel your skin grazing mine as we touch for the first time
I'd swear you were a magician pulling rabbits out of hats
You had my full attention
Seeing you in a new light now is something I don't mind
I can still feel my tears rolling down my cheek as we said our last goodbye
I knew it would be our last.
I cling on to every moment.
The air, the cold December air.
No longer December, but I can still feel e v e r y t h i n g

What if I was gone forever?
No re-does
Discontinue my laughs at you being clever

The last talk we had
You never dreamt was our last
Now do you regret ever making me sad?

You said the season wasn't ours
It just wasn't meant to be
But now do your words taste sour?

The sad fact is that I'm here to stay
Wasting away
Wishing I had you by my way to sway

Maybe one day we will meet again
The stars will align
And we will be certain

I will NOT cry over you anymore
These tears are sacred
For loved ones passed or severely stubbed toes
I will NOT cry over you anymore
I deserve the best and you cannot give it
My pillowcases, oh if they could talk
would slap me upside the head
and tell me you're not worth it
I will NOT cry over you anymore