In a kitchen full of laughing children with a yard full of sunlight. I dance around my duties to make sure everything is just right. A cake must be cooked even and golden brown. Cookies that smell divine must cool before they can be devoured. In a bustle of sweat I swish about and clang pans. While little helpers stand idly by waiting to lick a spoon or bowls when I an done with them. Some say it is too much labor, but I say that when it is for the joy of family, that I am wrapped in love and there is no greater comfort that I can find.

I almost called you babe over text yesterday
I wanted to call you babe
I think you are at that level in my life
you're one of my babes
it's because I like you
it's because I want you to fill my time
I want you to fill my time with your soul music and sweet voice
when your voice answered the phone my body melted
when you dipped me on the dance floor I fell for you
I fell so hard I was afraid I hit the floor
and you make me feel full
and you give me a warm heart
you are my heart
I want you to stay awhile

I tell my parents, my ex (wishing she was mine), my friends, my siblings,
that "I am sick"

I now know that I'm not like flu, or cold, sick.
I'm so disgusted with myself that it make me feel sick,
It happens most when I look in the mirror, or get dressed, I don't have a point in trying anymore. So yeah..

I am the book that’s already been read & put on the shelf.
I am the first generation of ipod.
I am the broken guitar string.
I am the car that won’t start.

I am the kid sitting alone downtown at 3am.
I am the 300 year old clock that just broke again.
I am the song that finishes too soon.
Today, tomorrow; I am invisible.

I’m not sure if this should be an apology letter.
I just figure for once, I might be able to make things better.
Me; is just something you should never ask me to define.

this stupid love song should not remind you of him

maybe I was never the right girl for this boy
but he was the one who didn't wanted to give it a try
I broke down before his eyes and it wasn't the first time

I need to stop thinking about this boy
but those night with him were my most favorite thing in the world
whenever I was near him the world was a little bit more beautiful
and no not the kind of beautiful you can describe in words

I dont want to use you as a distraction
just because I cant get over this ******* with blue eyes
you are treating me so good yes you really are an angel
and yes maybe you are the best thing that ever happend to me
but that also is the reason it is so hard to love you

the nights are longer when Im not around you
I can feel the summer coming and I need you near me
maybe it will take months for us to talk again, like we used you
but I dont mind my dear, I will be here waiting for you

I will be waiting here untill the night gets shorter...
because the summer always was and always be our thing.

when we are little everything seems big

the older people will tell you scary stories about the world
how it changed over the years and how you should live
they will tell you all the things you never wanted to hear

but they wont tell you about the flowers and gardens
about the oceans and birds flying in the sky, the sunrise
the stories about happiness are like a forbidden secret
something you need to discover yourself in this world

I always wanted to die young because growing up scared me
I remember saying these terrible things to myself in the mirror
things like you wont ever reach seventeen, you are not worth living

and now Im sitting in my room at the age of seventeen
still discovering the little secret called happiness
maybe I will never figure it out or maybe I do someday

oh well for now Im just fine with being a teenager in love.

I never asked you to bring me the horizon
I never dared to dream about having you

after a while I still didn't knew where I was looking for
I always thought that I was looking for something called love
but I began to realize love is not just a simple word made out of letters

I adored him for the way he looked, dark and dangerous
the tattoos on his arms and neck, the piercing in his lip
I fell in love with his personality, his kind and loving heart
the way he looked at me everytime I walked into the room

this boy could make my heart skip a beat without doing anything
loving him was the most real thing I have ever felt in my entire life
through all the tears and constant fear of not being good enough
he always made me feel special, he gave me everything I needed

I still remember the first day I saw you
you were wearing a black band tshirt with ripped sleeves
it was your smile what made me stare at you, it made me melt
I knew I wanted to have this human in my life, forever

from that day love wasn't just a word anymore.

In a parallel universe you’re still alive
In a parallel universe i called you first
In a parallel universe i wasn’t  so proud
In a parallel universe we´re still together

In a parallel universe you didn’t die,
you’re still with me,
and last week i managed to make that stupid call,
I told you how much i missed you
and that i was worried about you
you answered with your usual indiferent and detached tone of voice
and told me not to worry,
that everything was fine,

I guess that’s why we where so perfect together
We trusted no one and never share too much
But even in the shallow talks
We knew how much we meant to eachother

In a parallel universe,
we would have made plans for the weekend
we would have bought some beers
and talk about men

In a parallel universe you never left