The tears run down my face
The thoughts run through my head
The fear runs through my veins

My heart races
My feet run
My soul runs out

Running
I'm running

When will it end?
When will I stop running?

I recieved the
"Best attitude award"
For basketball

Everyone cheered
My team congratualated me
I smiled
And looked happy

But really,
I wanted to cry
The coach said I deserved it,
That I came each day
Smiling

Yes,
I do come in smiling
But only so no one sees the pain

That is not
The "best attitude award"
Not for me,

For me,
It is the
"Best liar award"

For I tricked everyone
Into thinking
Even my tears that night
Were tears of joy

I convinced everyone
Oh good job
They thought I was happy

That was when
I realized
Help would never find me

For I recieved
The "best liar award"

Do you even bother
To look for the signs?

I play my music louder
These days
I don't listen
For joy
But to drown
The world out

I'm never without long sleeves
These days
I don't wear them
For warmth
But to protect
My secrets

I feel ill more often
These days
I don't feel sick
Because of a physical illness
But a
Mental one

There are thousands of signs
That I am dying
Yet you never notice
Do you even bother to look?

Just when things are turning out so nice
fate would unleash its specialty
Plot twists...

Your whole life suddenly turns around
leaving you broken again,
making you scour the whole land
for somebody to fix you.

I am used to
Silence

Don't ever interrupt
Let adults speak first
Never speak of feelings

Really,
Simple silence is easier

It's what I'm used to

Muffle your screams
Keep your tears quiet
Hide your pain

You see,
Tortured silence is best

It's what I'm used to

So my question is
What made me
Break that silence?
To come here,
To pour my heart out
To strangers?

It's true,
Silence is what I'm used to
But now that I'm speaking,
It's so much better

Hi,
I'm Nicole
I'm still young
Only
16 going on 60

I've seen so much
I can never go back
I got more regrets piled up
Than stars in the sky

I've been told
My eyes look older than my body

And
My soul seems older than my age

That's because
I'm just
16 going on 60

I swear
My soul was
Once full
But I was
More open than
I should have been

And I suppose
My soul hates me
As much as I hate me

Because as soon as
I opened up enough,
It fled