I once knew this boy
who would walk miles and miles
just to understand
the reason she'd smile.

She thought long and hard
about being his girl,
but decided that he
just wasn't made for her world.

Sometimes I turn around to see
everything I have left behind me
It’s weird to think of who I was
compared now to who I am
I never knew it would be this way
But still, I’m content

It’s just really different you see
Becoming the person
I never knew I could be
So many things on the inside are changing in me
And that’s okay,
I’m happy

I don’t know what the future holds,
I can’t know the indiscernible
I’ll have to put my mind to rest
And open my heart to the unknown
But it always seems
That there is a deep wisdom in me
Only accessible past the mind,
In the silence of peace

As winter descends
I will guard this flame growing in my heart
I live in a cruel world full of endless distractions
But I will remain, standing firmly in love
Now is not the time to cower,
Now is the time to rise above.

bathing in honey
surrounded by sweet
dreaming of vast fields
flowers under my feet

beauty in the scent
that swims through the air
feeling so free
hands in his hair

staring at stars
that cover the sky
he holds my hand
and i feel as though i could fly

although im on the ground
and its silent, not a sound
i feel it start to happen
my heart begins to pound

so much joy overcomes me
as i lay in the flowers
as i look to my right
i know i could be with him for hours

so much love and content
nature kissing me so
i appreciate his presence
and smile to let him know

i miss the way fingertips felt against my cold skin
the soft touch that only a lover can provide
the kind of touch that can melt icebergs and start wildfires
i miss the sweet sound of whispered words that could start a revolution and the goosebumps that came with each mumbled "i love you"
i miss the feeling of drifting off in a pair of arms that transformed an embrace into a home and made a safety net around me as if protection could only exist within this space between fingertips and other ligaments
i miss the feeling that you provided
i miss the feeling of being wanted
i miss loving something, someone
i feel as if i have lost all sense of direction

We all swim in the ocean of emotions
some swim through with ease
others struggle to stay on the surface

I float adrift in a ocean of emotions
waves eroding my mental state
drowning in a sea of sadness
Nothing to help me stay afloat
no will to try
I sink into the darkness

some die in the ocean of emotions

Why is it that when I start to feel alive,
It feels like the wrong thing to do?

Why is it that I am convinced that I don't deserve the greatness I'm gifted?

Why is it that the warmth I feel is always quickly faded and frozen?

Why is it that when it feels like the final victory, the war is just beginning?

Why is it that I am secretly the monster I swore to despise?

~S.C. Kelley

There's so much I want to say,
but I cannot speak.
So much pain
which I cannot express.
I seek a God,
but do I believe in one?
I look for an escape,
but is there one?

©rajgomes