With the passing of the years
The good disappears
Take inventory,
What's left for me?
Only nightmares and fears
Lies for the heart, mind and ears
Wasted light-years
A husk of a man appears
Drained from fighting through iron bars and chains with nothing but tears
The blind leading the blind
While the blind steers
Grinding through all the gears
With the numbing effect of false help from **** and beers
A deluge of judgment from peers
The worst kind of souvenirs
And yet still my heart peers
Looking for new frontiers
Maybe after the glue adheres
From past repairs
But I'm racing an end that nears

©2024

They say if you don't love yourself
You can't love anyone
So please explain what I feel
For my one and only son...

©2024

I don't want to be this
I don't want to think any of this
It doesn't matter what I want
The choice I made will always haunt
I don't want to do this
I don't want to go through with this
But it is what it is they say
This is the price I must pay
The only comfort in this
Is that I won't remember this
When I come face to face
With the choice I've made to leave this cruel place


©2024

Loving me
Is some kind of chore apparently
From what I see
It seems to be done begrudgingly
It is mostly
Basic surface level pageantry
So there is a "we"
But my end can be changed out if need be
The worst part has to be
That I can't help but give completely
And organically
Which always finds it's way around to biting me in the *****

©2024

Why are hearts
That feel so much
So easily broken?
I haven't misspoken
When I beg to not care
Beg to have nothing to clutch
Beg to take my last breath
Or have taken from me
My ability
To love and care so much
I plead "how is this fare?"
"Why can no one show me they care?"
"What is wrong with me?"
"Is there something I'm the air?"
"Why am I kept
So far away
From loves touch?"
The nothing's becoming
Far too much

©2024

I swear...
I didn't mean to **** the best of me
Or squash what I like in me
Yet here I stand
****** weapon in hand
My essence
Dripping down the blade
Like rain from a cloud
Or tears of a clown
Landing on the razors edge
A familiar sight and sound

©2024

I'm not going to lie
It felt good
I felt justified
Pouring the gas
Striking the match
And letting it fly
I even stood back
And watched the whole thing burn
Imagining the reflection of the engulfed bridge dead center of my eye
But I was young
I was hurt
I was beyond just a simple angry guy
And now so much time has passed
I find myself
Back at the charred remains
With a solitary tear forming in my eye
And you no longer on the other side
But one by one I still replace
Each piece of chard lumber
With iron and steel just in case
You too one day
Find yourself back at the same place

©2024