i miss you

i miss your smile

i miss your soft brown hair

i miss your nice smelling sweaters

i miss your laugh when you saw a cute dog

i miss you so much oh g o d do i but missing you

won't
bring
you
back

i am in a haze today. it is cloudy and beautiful outside. it is also pressing down on my chest and i struggle for air. i wore your shirt to bed last night and it helped steady my oxygen supply. i wish you were here to say my name and speak to me in my native tongue to remind who i am and where i've come from. i'm forgetting everything, slowly. recreating yourself is only good when you haven't done it five thousand times over. i just want to be me now. but how do i become me if there is no you? pick me up from the library and walk me to class. hold my hand and tell me that you will stay with me no matter how grey the sky is or how cold my fingers feel.

There's a missing piece
I've searched a lifetime trying to find
A void I can't get out of my mind
A missing piece
Could it be found in another heart, a lover?
I've looked everywhere, undercover
Constant in my thoughts leads to restless sleep
A part of me gone I yearn to keep
Maybe it's in the space I occupy
Tell myself I'll find it
False lullaby
A missing piece
The puzzle of me incomplete

The bath water
is the colour of my eyes;
yet, I don't know
which is wetter.

my tears are getting my paper mask soggy
too close for comfort, it sticks to me
i've tried so hard to find a mask that fits
but i end up with safety scissors and colored paper
cutting and crafting my own face for the day
wake up, brush your teeth, cut a fresh mask
it gets wet and torn by the end of the day
you throw it away
start all over again
once, my paper mask flew away
a flush of pink and a dash of red
what do you use to cover up
the colors that speak so loud?
grow up, grow into the mask you made
grow up, grow into that role you play
don't tell him you miss him
don't tell her you hurt so much
the masks smile and they flutter
in the rain, in the fall
one day, you realize
you don't know yourself at all.

my paper mask never fails me.

having a heart and soul

was my only weakness