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I'll be strong for you.
Usually I'm the anxious one,
Scared in crowds and streets.
But your pain is crippling you;
And I know I can be strong.
I take it back.
I said I wanted something to happen,
Something that would ****** him out of his comfort zone,
Something that would shatter his world and bring him closer to You.
But not like this, not so viciously that he can't eat or sleep.
Remove his pain, I didn't want this.
Take it back.
I know things happen,
And bad things to good people;
I wonder sometimes,
Why to him? Why in this way?
And why now? Tell me.
There's always a ploy,
Complicated stratagems,
And a backup plan.
When I meet potential flirts,
I throw up my guard.
I save aloofness and pride
For the clingy one.
For the one given to thought,
I display impulse,
Expose spontaneity,
And show thoughtlessness.
For those expecting much praise,
I laugh at their face,
Disregarding some kindness,
And I spurn their wants.
But for the analyzer,
Who looks inside me--
I open up the floodgates,
I lay bare my faults,
And try to convince the man
Of every vileness
And of every cruelty
That I can muster.
For if he believes I sin,
And do so often,
Perhaps it will save him then
From the traps I'd lay
If I let myself like him,
Try to entrance him,
And lie about my dark soul.
This way, no man knows:
No man sees my tender heart,
No man knows my fears,
No man feels my true sorrow--
And my heart is saved.
But I wonder deep at night:
Am I lonely? No...
But I've run so far from love
That I'll never try again.
I have this disease where I love everything I pay attention to
I don't pay attention in school,
And I pay attention to the wrong things.
Give him wisdom and peace he's never known.
Give her humility she's never had.
Give me the listening ear I've yearned to show.
Give us grace through this before it gets bad.
'Cause he needs wisdom to deal with her words:
She might accuse him and confess little.
I don't think he's ready to be this hurt,
And I know his pride is hard and brittle.
Humility will save her from sadness
For if she admits her wrong, she'll be fine
And I will sit here amid the madness
Treading on mutual friendship's thin line.
Even though I wish this was just a phase,
To bring us through, I will bear any weight.
Lord, don't let this end in disaster.
Maybe
He will change his mind
Or grow a new opinion
As doors close for him.

Maybe
Thoughts will turn from her
And he'll see me waiting here
And he'll notice me.

Maybe
He will take a chance
Hoping that I will say yes
And I'll be surprised.



But maybe
He knows already
Because I've not been tactful:
He's seen my red face.

And maybe
He avoids me too
And rolls his eyes at my jokes
Because I'm stupid.

Maybe
He's flattered by me
By my attentions and smiles
And he lets me laugh.

Maybe
He doesn't notice
And I'm just another girl
Here on the sidelines.



maybe
he knows and hates me
and he talks behind my back.
i should give it up.

maybe**
it'll go up in flames
and he will embarrass me
and they will all see.
jab
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