Sometimes it's not when you're perfect
That you feel like yourself, it's true;
It's when you're embarrassingly imperfect
That you know that you're definitely you.

When your words are placed with precision
And your thoughts are all in line
When there's the perfect analogy in your speech
He's not there to listen, that's the time.

When your words come out in a jumble
And you laugh 'till you're in tears
When you tell stupid jokes and nobody but he laughs
That's the day that he appears.

They think I suffer
From but one affliction;
But I enjoy it.

You always waste time,
But what you can't see is this:
Time is wasting you.

Help may come someday
When you least expect, or want;
But it will save you.

One will tell the tale,
Another will blur its lines;
A third sets it straight.

You've tried a hundred times, I know,
But don't give up what you've begun;
It may be that what you seek will succeed
In try number a hundred and one.