Skipping
Smiling
The pain kept under lock and key.
Rushing
Running
Don’t let them-can’t let them see.
Covering
Coloring
Paint away the evidence.
Shivering
Shaking
Posters on the wall’s indents.
Yearning
Yelling
Go the **** away!
Punching
Pushing
No one listens to what I say.
Groping
Grabbing
Here they come!
Slipping
Stumbling
I am so done.
Gasping
Gaping
Did no one teach you not to stare?
Black
Blue
The weight was too much to bare.
Flashing
Flocking
You’re gonna get what you deserve.
Bars
Beating
I have a family to preserve.

Ever loved someone like
laying on the carpet in pain
watch the shadows on their face change
see the door open and close
these days the sunlight always looks the same

Study me.
Be the restless scholar
Glasses turned upright, hair in knots,
Dizzy with sleepless nights beside the candlelight,
Coffee stains strewn like Christmas ornaments,
Where you study my pages
With relentless curiosity
Leaving your eager fingers shaky
Spellbound and hungry for the end.

Find me.
Trace your eyes over wayward maps,
Over my skin,
Seek me beneath the epilogues and endless chapters.
Read between the lines to see me
Waving and giggling, (or sobbing and quivering).
Write papers on my patterns, on my stanzas -
Tumble down the rabbit hole of my syllables,
Where ink is branded in the roar of rising-and-falling flesh.

It is what's forbidden,
But it forbids me to disobey.
I have to watch myself fall down the rabit hole.
I have to see my ambitions right in front of me,
Before they're snatched away by a desperate beggar child.
At least they can finally get what they want,
While I'm being traumatised by what I want and could have
But now never will.

Only she knew,
She sat alone and
became accustomed too it.
No one called,
No one came.
No choices given.
Only She Knew..

i.

I shalt play
The piano and lrye;
To put her to sleep.

ii.

I shalt strum
Her heart's desire;
Inside of her keep.

iii.

I shalt swoon her
In ecstasy marriage;
Lover's entwined
Magical carriage.



©Brandon Nagley
©Lonesome poet's poetry
©Earl Jane Nagley dedicated ( Filipino rose)

Today is a really
important day
because today
I knew that I
loved you.

I'm not sure
the moment that
turned the page for me,
but it"s November and I'm
over the moon.

   You're at the coast
   and I'm in the valley
   and it's the start of
   the beautiful holidays

     You spent the morning
     at the cape and
     I spent it
painting
     away

           and somewhere-
           -somewhere
           where you were running with
            the tide
           and when I was mixing the
           perfect violet hue
          
I knew that you were it for me
I knew that I loved *you

Sunday morning at the flower shop,
the wind, an icy, burning instrument of authority.

Day moon and I am feeling the compulsion to see flowers,
to gaze vacantly until the delicate colors are burned into my iris's and memory.

November... Blood month, when one must sacrifice their very soul to the Winter-sad.

Ashes are left
Ashes and gin soaked pages
Ashes and shaking hands at breakfast
Ashes and bruised knuckles
Ashes and losing him
Ashes and the absence
Ashes and memories
Me hitting the floor vision clouded over with black
His hand on the back of my head lifting me out of shock and back into the world
His ashes and absence wears my mind thin
His arm draped around me, drunken stumble up the steps
His ashes and my flesh won't mix
His ashes and my heart won't mix
His ashes blow away in the wind every time