You are an erroneous mirror with a horribly distorted plane,
the figure find reflected on it's surface too are  you,miserable one!
And the perplexed observer?Who else, it's you, do you realize?
Don't complain or  blame it on  others, it's you who should decide,
where to begin and when, to set right whatever has gone wrong.

that feeling in the pit of your stomach as you raise your eyes to look at them, it's lethal

my love is like poison and the second upon exposure i'm left vulnerable but you're left affected forever, one step forward, a single blow to the lips and he has to open his eyes to see her face and remember this is real, she is real

it won't be movie love, it will be real love, and for that you must be warned - do not engage if you don't want after-*** cuddles and life contemplations, hot chocolate runs and holding hands without gloves since the heat from your hands are enough to warm the lack of oxygen reaching mine, late night laughter and cheesy dancing

do not engage if you don't want to let yourself fall in love, because it will happen slowly and if you realise when it's too late that you need to back out you need to know that like a bee who stings and dies, pushing me away from you after i've loved will cause me to be crippled not only by the weight of the falseness that i've been living in, but also the dense, crushing weight of my own love, of the letters and the kisses and the laughter

if you see me contemplate running after you when we say goodbye because i've always had a fear of departure, if you see my eyes light up when you walk into a room with an expression that can only be described as warmth and admiration, if you see my hand slowly make its way to yours in a desire to be held and comforted, if you see me love completely, depressingly, you need to stop me, because i'm warning you that if you don't i will get hurt and the pain of being locked out of my life forever will hurt you more in the months proceeding than it will hurt me as i learn to build myself up again for somebody else

you can fall in love with my lips, my humour, my dresses, my laughter, my smile, the emptiness of my eyes, the constant fear, the happiness when food comes, and anything else and everything else - but please, remember that it's lethal

it's lethal to love and to be loved, but it's the best poison i've ever really known

Captivity of negativity

i feel something pulling me down
like my very soul being gripped
by the baleful clutches of death itself

have i succumbed to my
self inflicted insanity?
i can no longer tell apart
reality from my twisted fantasies

it all started from thoughts so depressing
like it was vomitted from the bodies of
a thousand suicidal souls with no reason to live
a life drenched with the fear of not being good enough

longing to sate the hunger for perfection
to appease the judgemental *******
who had the audacity to blame society
for every misfortune that has befallen them

Oh, The irony
We blame society, but we are society.
but who am i to judge?
for im just an agnostic sadistic hypocrite...

This is for all of you, whom felt abandon or Left behind.
Believe me , I been there myself but God does not leave us behind.
He might test us, thus showing us our heart health here.
But he loves each of us equally, but we all are on different journeys.
So some he protect from being killed as he did to Job in book of Job.
While others he takes , as the unborn babies that died at birth.
But at times it seems that you mess up and God has left you.
But unlike people, if you belong to him, he does not leave you at the alter.
For we too many times go on feelings instead of God's truth .

black ghosts, white ghosts
line my lane, ether's balloons
watching the night,
calling to me

what does thou see
mourner in the flesh, others?
fainter apparitions, silent
even to us

you won’t find him, they say,
no soul stays close to home, we fell
in distant moors and this night, we are
the whispers in your thatched roof,
rain strolling down your old stones
fog rolling from the ponds

but, he will be
wafting over another's hedge,
far from the glens where you threw him
the ball, miles from the roads where
he road his bike

he won’t be near
the blackened stacks by the tracks
where a strange body found him,
transformed him into one of us
with a blade honed for
eternity…before
that night

one ever sharp,
even though it was thrown
into the Avon before your boy
was cold

look for your lad, your love
in the wild sea, in the shapes waves weave
blue on sunny days; he will be there
not black or white like we

you will find him, ever
near, though far from where
you look

Sometimes I wish I could fly,
Soar above the misty mountaintops,
Come swooping down to catch a meal,
A feast I share with my family.
Nesting in a tree,
Sometimes I wish these things for me,
Is it so hard to see,
That life is harder than it's made out to be.
Sometimes I wish I could just disappear,
Vanish without a trace,
Like the ring on the Hobbit,
I would put it on and leave this place.
Sometimes... I wish...