I don't know,
don't know how much
longer I can fight
fight the urge
to stay

but what if I cant
and I give in
listen to the voices
telling me to go
leave, die.

I think the times
coming
when im not strong
enough to keep
fighting
the will
the urge of death
beckons me

and I think,
that I just might
give in.

dentists envy me;
they'll never have an anesthetic
so aesthetically pleasing.
it feels so good not to feel.

i know all
the numbing products they use.
what did you expect from
someone so insensible?
i know no senses other than
taste, because girls
like me have sharp tongues
and hungry eyes that will
never get enough of anything.

If you're going to break me
At least have the decency to let me know upfront
Don't let some time pass before you decide to do it
Don't let me reveal parts of myself that no one has seen
Not even God Himself and He made me
Don't let me share my secrets to which later you use as ammo
Don't let me tell you my life story, every chapter of it, from then to now
And belittle the struggles I had to overcome
If you're going to break me
Beware of the strength I possess
Beware of the type of woman I am
Beware of my ability to get up from being knocked down
Beware of me doing what I have to
You may cause a few cracks
But you will never break me
I'm too good for that

I want the sun to kiss me upon my forehead
To comfort the cold that stings inside of me
The one that overwhelms me with darkness
I want the wind to blow fresh air into my lungs
Since those are the ones to be tiring the fastest
Leaving me breathless like almost-lovers before

Tonight, I spoke into the darkness,
No stars to light my way,
       The black void all encompassing

   My words drifting up in ribbons,
          I waited for something, anything to happen

              I felt a rumble that was akin to ripples emanating from a drop of water hitting a puddle

        I was small next to the impossible,
And when it spoke back, it changed me
      
        The blank canvas of stark black was pierced by blades of light,
    The sky becoming a shutter in a rain storm
           Blowing open and closed
       The words came and wrapped themselves across my body in its entirety
        Constricting my air flow

             I felt myself shatter
  An implosion of feeble glass
       Ricocheting through a skeleton of paper, reflecting the brightness above inside ripped skin

                I was nothing.
                I didn't exist.
                I floated in an incomprehensible place that had no end, no walls

     No ceiling or floor

            Just illumination in every direction

                    I opened my eyes
  
    And was blinded by an incredible radiance

      I shut my eyes tight and swatted in front of me
        My hand struck something metal and I yelped in pain
          
          I shot up and stared downward
    Towards the desklamp unplugged on the floor
        
          Breathing heavily, I sat upright in my bed,
                 *Struggling to pull away words that had already sunken in