pulling on my heartstrings
grip is so tight
a broken little thing
knuckles turning white
a taunting smile waits
its tug is so strong
it is the bait,
the siren's careful song
my heart takes flight
the harsh alarm sings
nothing feels right
my twisted heartstrings

why wait for the afterlife
when we can make our heaven here?

you placed all this pain and uneasiness you were feeling into this beautiful and healthy flower.
you plucked each of its petals off one by one to ensure that the person you had dreamt about every night would love you.
you plucked the petals off of one flower, then two flowers, then four, always ending with the phrase "they love me not."
you ruined the lives of those amazing flowers only to find out that they will never love you.
maybe this is what greed does to us.
we lash out all of our sorrow onto other amazing beings because we don't know how to love ourselves.
we ruin the lives of so many others because we don't know how to love ourselves.
but darling, here is your reminder:
you are blossoming
you are blooming
you are beautiful
and most importantly
you are loved.
you don't have to be showcased in a vase and displayed to the world to know that you are beautiful.
the ones growing in between the cracks are doing just as fine.
you may keep wondering if that certain someone loves you.
but the question that I am wondering is,
do you love you?

My lovely sun, remember this:
No matter how many times
the clouds attempt to smother your light,
you will never fail to shine through them

You're the greatest one here, and everyone knows.
The best people stay, the bad ones go.
You constantly remind us about your strength,
your list goes on, far in length.
The rest of us are rocks in your road.
But you've kicked us away, and there you strode.
We've been below you since that day.
But you don't care about us anyway.
You're the queen of the hill, the rest of us ants.
Crown on your head, you always enchant.
You're bigger and better, the rest of us small.
We mean nothing to you at all.
Maybe it's okay that we fit in the cracks.
Go back on the road, and here we'll backtrack.
I don't need to trample like you.
Kings and queens are overthrown too.

If only broken parents
could fix broken kids.

oh honey, it's not the weight of your body that's pulling you down.
it's the weight of the pressures and expectations you carry upon yourself.
once you burn the calories of negative opinions and the need for validation, you'll recognize the strength in your mind and heart that allow you to conquer it all.

If love is the answer,
how come so many
problems come from it?

Why? Why must I always put everyone first? You'd think if you're nice to them, they'd be nice back. That's what the Golden Rule is. But sometimes, rules can hold us back; forgetting that the real world doesn't always obey them.

But I do.

Maybe it's true that I care about what people think of me. I tell myself that I am not insecure, but people hear what they want to hear. I tell myself that I have so many friends because we're nice to each other. If someone asks me to cheer them up, I let them know how beautiful and worth it they are. Whatever I tell them, it's true. How many people will say the same about me? Why do I even care? Why is it that I'm always nice, but don't receive it in return?

My happiness is a bowl of cookies. Here, take one. Take as many as you'd like and pass it around like confetti, even to those who have hearts made of stone. They're yours now.

Seeing everyone eat my cookies makes me smile. I look down, and notice that all I have for myself are crumbs. That's okay. Maybe someone will come around with cookies of there own. But when I see someone walking away with their own cookie in their mouth, I know I'd been skipped over.

I have no energy to bake more cookies. What is left to fuel me? What can I do to feel happy?  All of my cookies are gone, because I had let them take one.

I had let them do this to me. Now my heart can't soar free. I let them put me in pain and boil the blood flowing through my veins. I regret what I have done, now I must miss out on all of the fun.

Because I allowed people to hurt me, even if it meant I left a good impression.

The Golden Rule. Not everyone follows it. But I did.

You held her heart in a
sweetly wrapped package,
but you didn't see the sign
that warned of it being fragile

"Hi, how are you?"
"I'm good, thank you."
It's the same response everyday,
yet I don't know if I'm okay.
If I were to answer truthfully,
no one would want to listen to me.
They don't need to hear me complain,
they will only think I'm insane.
All I can do is carry on,
but deep down I feel so gone.

"out of sight, out of mind" they said
then why do i still think about you?

She said her dreams
became a reality,
but nightmares
are dreams too.

You gave me the camera
Gave me the album
Placed the film inside
and snapped away
Taking shot after shot
Pictures of our memories
of when we were okay
They sat in my book
Sat in my heart
Until they burned in fire
They disappeared as
quick as you had left
and I wish the fire
in my soul
would put out as
quickly too

When I approached,
you smiled your shining smile
you opened your arms wide
and you held me for the longest time
A minute, maybe two
And in that moment I knew
the only place I'd ever want to be
is with you

Dear you,

I guess I don't know how to speak to you in person. Well, I have before. Talking to you used to be so easy, like walking from one room to the next. Now, I remind myself which foot to step with. And when I'm finally in the next room, you are no longer there. Instead, the lights burn out, leaving me in the darkness.

You used to be my light. When I couldn't find a seat in a crowded room, you lit the way to the empty seat beside you. When you wrapped your arms around me, sparks grew into fireworks. Both of our smiles could set the world on fire.

When you told me how beautiful I was, I swore the stars shone brighter. There was no dark side of the moon, just as there were no dark side of you.

Instead of being the night, you were my knight. You waved your silver sword, daring anyone to try and hurt me. No one would try, for they know who they will have to get through first.

But this entire time, I was so focused on you keeping others out that I didn't realize who was slowly creeping in.

You.

You pointed your sharp sword at my heart. I cried so hard, begging you, "Please, don't hurt me." I cried so much that tears fell into my mouth, choking me while oceans fell from my eyes. It didn't matter in the end.

You were deaf.

Your sword struck, hard. Your hateful words and actions filled into me like a disease, while happiness flowed out of my heart.

I'm still alive. I'm still breathing.

When I look into the mirror, I see the person I used to be. Scars and all. I see the girl who loved you. I see the face that you once called beautiful.

How I wish I could hear your voice again.

I guess I don't know how to speak to you in person. Not anymore.

Instead of pouring tears, I'm pouring words. Words that you need to hear.

This is to you.

From,

Me

you treat me like i'm the only one in your world
but then i realize you treat everyone like that