I hate this (but not you)
This feeling of everything inside
So I bury it into the darkness I collect
But it manages to break through
And I smile when it come back

Yet I hate it (still not you)
Because I no longer know the feeling of sleep
And my eyes scream for them to close
Yet my mind doesn't answer properly
And everything feels like a tornado

Yet I still smile
And breathe
And I live with it
Because nothing will eat away at my sadness as quickly
Even though I laugh to drown out the sound
It doesn't compare

So I hate it because I don't know it
And I like it because I want to

I love the way the moon hangs in the sky
because whether it's surrounded by darkness
or shrouded in daylight
it still remains beautiful for all to see

Today I told a doctor that time heals all wounds
he said no that’s aspirin
and if  you have have allergies
you’ll need epinephrine

Today I told a priest that time heals all wounds
he said no that’s God
also prayer and hope wouldn’t hurt
if I was no fraud

Today I told a psychic that time heals all wounds
he said to get a reading and I’d be fine
and he’d throw in a magic ball
for only $9.99!

Today I told myself that time heals all wounds
as I looked in the mirror staring my body down
It better I whispered
because in this pain I soon will drown

Sometimes I sit out in the sunlight
And watch the clouds blow above my head
And then I look over to the right
Yeah, you
And I don't say anything

I'm just in a daze
I want to go skate
But it's rainy it's wet
my emotions are spinning
I'm thinking about you
As I lay here
Drenched in the grass

Wish you'd come my way
We could look up at the stars
I grab your hand and I tell you all the things I've been trying to say
From here to there across the trussle
My naive status could still be sane
And now I'm just jumping in puddles
Dancing in the rain.

There's a saying that the good girls always fall for the bad boys
I'm beginning to believe it's true
Everything about you makes me feel some type of way
I'm starting to get confused
Aw you're so cute
I really wish you knew

© 2014 Samantha Girouard-Holt

Beloved, may your sleep be sound
That have found it where you fed.
What were all the world's alarms
To mighty paris when he found
Sleep upon a golden bed
That first dawn in Helen's arms?

Sleep, beloved, such a sleep
As did that wild Tristram know
When, the potion's work being done,
Roe could run or doe could leap
Under oak and beechen bough,
Roe could leap or doe could run;

Such a sleep and sound as fell
Upon Eurotas' grassy bank
When the holy bird, that there
Accomplished his predestined will,
From the limbs of Leda sank
But not from her protecting care.

Draped am I, across his chest and
with heavy hands, him firmly pressed
to me, in dark rooms; split with light.
Legs are tightened and glazed eyes, bright.
To feel his lips as they swallow my tongue,
above heaving ******* of two so young,
would be transcendent if he were mine
and eloping as lovers in heat, sublime.

A shadowed denizen writhing, elated,
under a favourable mouth falling, sedated.
Grappling, unfastened,  vivacious and soft
as against the wall pushed, and held aloft
was I as a body, so virtuous - yet carnal
and was held again with a hunger, infernal.
Again were we guilty in a frenzy so vicious
of a tantalizing ecstasy of resentment so delicious.

i remember how it felt when we were sitting on top of your car
staring out into this little city
with expensive taste
the feeling of my head leaning onto your shoulder was so comforting
the sun was setting and your body was guarding the sun from shining on my face
we sat there in complete silence for a few minutes
and then you asked me how my grandma passed away
so i said it
you listened and wrapped your arm around me when i got weak
then you opened up to me and i grabbed your hand and held it
i kept looking at you and i heard the hurt in your voice
and i wish you would let me in the walls you've built around
so we can light a match and burn it down
but there is no doubt in my mind
that if you could
you'd crack my ribcage open
and pull my heart right out when ever you wanted to
and then id be left with nothing
but the words you said to my ear
that have sunk into my veins
and wont get out of my skin