MY GOD I GET SO SICK JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW MANY TIMES I SAT THERE CRYING BEGGING YOU NOT TO LEAVE ME, NOT TO GET IN THAT CAR, NOT TO WALK OUT THAT DOOR, NOT TO SAY GOODBYE.

I CANNOT BELIEVE HOW STUPID I WAS, HOW MUCH YOU DIDNT CARE, HOW I STILL DIDNT LET YOU GO

You used to tell me about your day and stories from your past, I think the farthest back you ever got was telling me the memories you have of the summer you spent at your grandparents lake house

You were six when you fell off the deck and hit your head on a rock and that's why you have that scar shaped like Florida behind your left ear

I remember when your grandpa died, the dream you had almost every night afterwards was too much for you so you tried to stay awake as long as you can

I hope you and her never spend almost 40 hours chain smoking on your trampoline like we did when I told you my biggest secrets and you told me yours

I spend so much of my time writing about you in detail but I'm willing to bet that you don't even remember what color my eyes are or what holiday is my favorite.