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Apr 2015 · 556
#littlebitch
Xyns Apr 2015
You're a *******
I wish you'd go away and just quit

I'm so over you
That's right, boy, I'm through with you
I don't want another ******* thing to do with you

You're a little *****
Stop talking, go somewhere and sit

I'm not okay with you
After all this **** you put me through
Stick around here and I might just lose my cool

You're a lying twit
I wanna run away, I wanna split

I'm not coming back to you
***** all the trust I had in you
You broke all the promises that I thought were true

You're a *******
I wish you'd go away and just quit
You're a little *****
Stop talking, go somewhere and sit
You're a lying twit
I wanna run away, I wanna split
Apr 2015 · 5.7k
Talking Body
Xyns Apr 2015
"Now if you're talking body
You got a perfect one
So put it on me
Swear it won't take you long
If you love me right
We **** for life
On and on and on"
Tove Lo
Apr 2015 · 1.7k
Fling
Xyns Apr 2015
I want that sensation
That open-minded fling of sensual expectation

Baby, we know you're packin'
When it comes to love, darling you aren't lackin'

On you, I wanna overdose
Use that gun you got to put me in a comatose

Oh, spread my thighs
You're a drug, get me high

We don't need a connection
I just want some of that affection

We should get ******
I heard you got something exceptional

I've seen it
Couldn't believe it

Boy, it's crazy
I want that lovin' on a daily

And I know you're into me
So baby come here and use me
Apr 2015 · 293
I wrote this a while ago.
Xyns Apr 2015
I Fear You**

I don't fear many things
not death
not snakes
not love
not people
not pain

But you.

I fear you'll leave me
Find someone better
And no longer love me
While I'll be forever
Brokenhearted
Caught in endless despair

I fear you.

.............................................
It's funny how you confirmed all my fears. However, you haven't crippled me for life. I'm okay now.
Apr 2015 · 2.7k
Bliss
Xyns Apr 2015
I find the richest
bliss
In your absence.
Apr 2015 · 332
This Is A Thank You Letter
Xyns Apr 2015
Dear Mr. I'm Too Good For You,

This is a thank you letter.

Sure, it was painful.
It was shocking.
It was stupid of you.

But in so many ways,
It was wonderful.

Now that you're gone,
I've never felt so free.
Trust this, I'm not lonely.

Thank you for leaving me.

If you had stayed
I would have never
Grown up so much.

If you had stayed
I would have never
Flirted with your buddy.

If you had stayed
I would have never
Been really happy.

So thank you.

You've changed my life
For the better.

Sincerly,
The One That Got Away
You'll miss me, but I'll never regret losing you.
Apr 2015 · 618
In The End
Xyns Apr 2015
When everything comes to an end
I've thought it all through
And my most fatal mistake
Was trusting you

After all is said and done
My biggest flaw was
Believing you were *the one
Apr 2015 · 1.1k
Painkiller
Xyns Apr 2015
You numb me
You soothe me

Like Xanax
Klonopin

I don't need meds with you
You're my own Mary Jane

I want you to be my ******
Take me so much higher

I know this isn't love
But, baby, you're my drug

Take the load off my shoulders
Weightlifter
You're like a drug, I'm not sober
*Painkiller
Apr 2015 · 327
Fade Away
Xyns Apr 2015
Sometimes I think of you
And my chest gets all tight
And my heart feels heavy
And my mouth gets dry
And I get the worst headache
And I miss you more than anything

But then he texts me...
And suddenly
I don't even
Remember your name.

And all the pain
Just seems to *fade away
Apr 2015 · 499
Someone Just Like You
Xyns Apr 2015
I need someone to play the game
Someone to numb this pain
Someone to keep me sane


You, my friend, seem just right
I'd like to make you mine by tonight


I need someone to lead me on
Someone to be less alone
Someone to help me move on


You, my friend, seem just right
I like the way you make me feel alright


I want someone to shake me up
Someone new to change things up
Someone to keep my chin up


*You, my friend, you will do
I think that I want someone just like you
Apr 2015 · 163
Untitled
Xyns Apr 2015
"I smoke a blunt
To take the pain out.
And if I wasn't high
I'd probably try to
Blow my brains out."
Apr 2015 · 190
Untitled
Xyns Apr 2015
How the **** could you promise to give me everything..
And then take everything away from me?
And how the **** do I still love you?
Apr 2015 · 1.0k
Fuck You!!
Xyns Apr 2015
*******!!

For all the poems I ever ******* wrote you!

For all the letters I ever ******* gave you!

For all the "I love you's" I ever ******* told you!

For all the kisses I ever ******* got from you!

For all the "Together forever's" I ever ******* expected from you!

For all the trust I ever ******* had in you!

For all the time I ever ******* wasted on you!

For all the tears I ever ******* shed over you!

For all the nights I ever ******* stayed up for you!

For all the times I ever ******* cared about you!

For all the "I'm sorry's" I ever ******* told you!

For all the secrets I ever ******* shared with you!

For all the love I ever ******* had for you!

*******!!
Ah, and the anger sets in once again. It's like, no matter how much I like another guy, no matter how much I try to rationalize it, I just can't find it in myself to forgive him. I still can't even understand what happened.
Apr 2015 · 191
Untitled
Xyns Apr 2015
I don't think I can give to you
The things you deserve
The things you need

I don't think I can ever be
Enough to make you happy
Enough to keep you pleased

I don't think I can say words
To express what I really mean
To describe what I'm thinking

I don't think I can do this.
Apr 2015 · 428
Just A Taste
Xyns Apr 2015
He whispers in your ear
"Just one time.
Just a taste"

And so you do it.
Just a taste

He whispers in your ear
"Just one more time.
Didn't you like it?"

And so you do it.
Just a taste

He whispers in your ear
"Come one. Do it.
Don't you love me?"

And so you do it.
*Just a taste
Because, for him, you'd do anything.
Apr 2015 · 1.1k
Untitled
Xyns Apr 2015
Fit body
Nice height
Great hair
Broad shoulders
Smooth words
Cool guy
*** smoker
Blunt roller

You're so hot

I don't understand
How I've looked over
You for so long

You were right in my face
But I never realized
You were everything I wanted
To find in a guy
Apr 2015 · 183
Untitled
Xyns Apr 2015
I want to be loved.
To be cherished

I don't want
To be thrown away
To be left damaged
Apr 2015 · 173
Up Here
Xyns Apr 2015
I like being way up here
Where your words,
I can't hear.
Where your touch,
I can't fear.


I like being way up here
Where your love,
I don't miss, dear.
Where your arms,
I don't want here.

I love being way up high
So high I have to look down
To see the sky

I love being way up high
So high I can't even
Begin to cry

I love being way up high
Apr 2015 · 169
Untitled
Xyns Apr 2015
I don't miss you

I miss the part of me
That you took when you left
Apr 2015 · 169
Untitled
Xyns Apr 2015
Putting cigarettes out on your skin
Drinking, smoking, dying within

How the **** did you sink so low?
You always said this far you'd never go..

But it's not that simple in the end
You just broke, you didn't bend

From the top, down you came
Autumn, you're so ******* lame

You're lost, you're totally shattered
**You now know, you never ******* mattered
Apr 2015 · 4.5k
Hercules
Xyns Apr 2015
Hercules, Hercules
So very strong
Dear God, Where did we go wrong?
You were my strength
My one and only
*Now I'm left weak and lonely
He loved when I called him Hercules..
Mar 2015 · 457
Wasn't In Love
Xyns Mar 2015
I'm not in love with you.
I never was.

I was in love with the ghost
Of who you were in the beginning

I was in love with the idea
Of what we could have had

I was in love with the thought
Of who I wanted you to become

But now
I'm not

I'm in love with the fact that
I'll never be in love with you
Mar 2015 · 310
Yesterday.
Xyns Mar 2015
Yesterday I said

It doesn't feel like I'm living any more.
Days are just obstacles that I have to get through.
I don't even like sleeping any more. I'm afraid that I'll see him in my dreams.
I no longer eat.
I don't even feel hungry.
I eat a couple bites of school lunch and none of breakfast.
I'm not eating at home.
I've already lost a lot of weight.
The pain doesn't feel emotional any more, my emotions are dormant.
The pain is physical now.
It feels like I'm walking through syrup constantly.
When I lay down I cry even if I'm not thinking of him.
And right now the only thing I feel is confusion.

*But Today
I'm so much stronger.
I'm not crying
No regrets
This pain
Is fading from my chest
I'm not dull
No longer bland
I'm on my own
I don't need a man
Goodbye
Mar 2015 · 309
On Cloud 9
Xyns Mar 2015
On cloud 9
I leave my troubles far behind

I can't feel your gentle touch
I don't hear your **** voice
I can't taste your sweet kiss
I don't miss your presence


All of you
That remains
*Is the dull ache in my chest
And the confusion in my brain
Here, on cloud 9, I don't miss you.
Mar 2015 · 831
Untitled
Xyns Mar 2015
I'm completely and utterly
Heartbroken
I love you
But it's all over now
You've spoken

No..
Pearl Jam..
Eminem..
Creed..
Default..
My Darkest Days..
Future..
Hopsin..
Aerosmith..
..Could ever fix
this brokenness..
I miss you
Mar 2015 · 278
Missing You.
Xyns Mar 2015
You were my best friend
My lover
I gave all I had to make you happy

Honestly, though everyone would hate me
I'd take you back in a heart beat

I never knew that
Losing you
Would hurt this bad

I need some closure
Just a hug would do

I'm not ready for us to be over
I need you to be around

I'm still in love with you
And everything I said was true
I just wish we'd never fallen apart

I want you to fall in love with me again
Maybe, perhaps, we could start over?
From the top, the beginning

I need you around.
I need you to still love me.

You win.

I don't know what I'm gonna do without you..
Mar 2015 · 289
I mean it.
Xyns Mar 2015
I'm in love with you
I need you to know
I never wanted to let you go
Mar 2015 · 467
Untitled
Xyns Mar 2015
I want you to know
That I don't love you anymore.
In fact, I hate you.

You should probably **** yourself.
Yeah, that'd be great.
Mar 2015 · 181
Untitled
Xyns Mar 2015
You're gonna regret leaving me
You'll miss me
Just you wait and see
Mar 2015 · 366
You, Me, Us
Xyns Mar 2015
I always thought that we'd be stronger than this.
That we'd be able to make it through anything.

We always said we could handle these storms.
That we'd love each other through anything.

And suddenly, when the storm begins,
You're ready to leave, and let us end.

Just like that, with absolutely no warning,
You told me "I just don't wanna be in a relationship right now."

Do you even know how broken I became
When you said that that day?

After a year and six months
It's no longer me that you want?
But I loved you so much it hurts..
Never mistreated you once.
I poured my heart out to you
Let down my guard, swear to God..
I'll blow my brains in your lap.
Lay here and die in your arms..
Drop to my knees and I'm pleading
I'm trying to stop you from leaving..
You won't even listen, so **** it.


You said you wanted to be friends
You asked me not to block you out

"I still want you. I still love you.
We'll get back together soon."

Well, sir, I'm not your safety net.
If you leave, I won't be here when you finally want me.

Even if we make it through this
I'll never feel the same

I used to be so comfortable
Now all that was in vain

Because now I know
I can't let my imperfections show

If I'm not perfectly perfect
You'll think I'm not worth  it

It's tearing me apart
I gave you all of my heart

I've never given so much
Just to be left in the dust

I love everything about you
So much that I'd rather hate you

I could never be your friend
That's why I don't want this to end
Mar 2015 · 195
Untitled
Xyns Mar 2015
If I could do it all over again
I'd choose *you
Mar 2015 · 266
Untitled
Xyns Mar 2015
Have you ever been so heartbroken
That you literally feel the pain in your chest?
That your heart actually aches?
That you feel like throwing up all the time?
That being alive just seems wrong?
Welp.
That's where I am right now..
And the saddest part is
He doesn't really seem to care
Mar 2015 · 271
Honey,
Xyns Mar 2015
Doll, you're like that one day in Autumn

When the sun shines just right
It's not dull, but not too bright

When the clouds barely dot the sky
And the wind blows like a subtle sigh


Dear, you're a tall glass of sparkling water

That drink of water that seems just right
That cools you down and makes you feel alright

That water you need when the day's been hot
And that drink of icy cold just hits the spot


*Thank You.
Mar 2015 · 430
Logic.
Xyns Mar 2015
I'd rather
spend my life
buzzed
and regretting it

than stay
sober
and
**end it
Mar 2015 · 191
It Gets To Me
Xyns Mar 2015
You know what gets to me the most?

That when I'm angry at you
Really, truly ****** at you
You always manage to do something
Something so sweet that
I can't stay mad at you
No matter how hard I try

Gosh...that gets to me..
Mar 2015 · 1.4k
Let's See
Xyns Mar 2015
Let's see how I write
When I'm high
Let's see what ****
Comes out of my mind

I'm on cloud 9
Maybe ever higher
Neptune
With my magic WiFi

Lol, laugh out loud
I'm on another level
Wonder who knows
How I'm feeling right now
Honestly, I don't even remember starting this thing...let's see how it goes.
Mar 2015 · 376
Untitled
Xyns Mar 2015
It's not being sad
Or crying all the time

It's not being lonely
Or staying up at night

It's being numb
And feeling hollow

It's being empty
And drinking endlessly

It's grasping desperately
At what you used to be
And clinging to anything
That gets you through the day

It's depression.
Mar 2015 · 888
Crutch
Xyns Mar 2015
I hate being
awake.
And when I'm
awake
I hate being
sober.
And when I'm
sober
I hate being
*alive.
Mar 2015 · 347
Untitled
Xyns Mar 2015
You killed the music
In my head
And replaced it with
Screaming instead
Thanks.
Mar 2015 · 206
Untitled
Xyns Mar 2015
"Nobody knows me
I'm cold.
Walk down this road
All alone.
It's no one's fault
But my own.
It's the path
I've chosen to go."
Space bound. Eminem.
Mar 2015 · 302
Waste It All
Xyns Mar 2015
I only have so much money
And only so much time
I only have so much patience
And only so much hype

But tonight I wanna
Waste it all on you
Yeah, tonight I'd like
To make you feel new

Oh I know you'd like
To take it slow
But, darling,

I only have so much money
And only so much time

And tonight I wanna
Waste it all on you
Dear, tonight I'm gonna
Make you feel new

With a kiss on your lips
And a shake of my hips
We'll lose ourselves tonight

We'll waste it all tonight
Feb 2015 · 330
Love Me.
Xyns Feb 2015
When you decide to love me
Love me with your words
Love me with your hands
And I'll love you with all that I am
Though I'm not much...
Feb 2015 · 348
Nightmare
Xyns Feb 2015
I was beating my head on the wall
Hoping to end it all
I put the shotgun to my chin
Ready for my life to end
I pulled the trigger but it wouldn't budge
Not granting death's soft touch
I heard a scream, a howling
Then the creatures came for me
I tried to run, to get away
Suddenly all went to grey
A large, tall man with eyes of fire
Gave me a hug, offered a lighter
I lifted the cigarette in my hand
Lit it up then thanked the man
He smiled wide then said "It's alright
You're only dreaming for tonight."
At that moment the flames engulfed me
But I couldn't find the strength to scream
They all surrounded me, laughing
Telling me this is all my life would be
Thankfully, I sat up in my bed
I gasped, "God, I wish I was dead."
My nightmare last night..
Feb 2015 · 1.0k
Hours
Xyns Feb 2015
I've spent countless hours
Searching for myself in bottles
And scraping the bottom
Hoping that I may be found there

I've spent countless hours
Searching for myself in medication
And swallowing the hardest of pills
Seeking refuge in the numbness

I've spent countless hours
Searching for myself in people
And cleaning myself after the lust
Just feeling more lost than before

I've spent countless hours
Talking others down from suicide
And hating every reassuring word
That comes out of my lying mouth

I've spent countless hours
Staring at myself in the mirror
And working on my smiles and laughs
So that they seem real and authentic

And I've spent countless hours
Regretting all these hours wasted
Feb 2015 · 978
Blue October
Xyns Feb 2015
Now floating up and down
I spin, colliding into sound
Like whales beneath me diving down
I'm sinking to the bottom of my
Everything that freaks me out
The lighthouse beam has just run out
I'm cold as cold as cold can be
be

I want to swim away but don't know how
Sometimes it feels just like I'm falling in the ocean
Let the waves up take me down
Let the hurricane set in motion... yeah
Let the rain of what I feel right now...come down
Let the rain come down

Where is the coastguard
I keep looking each direction
For a spotlight, give me something
I need something for protection
Maybe floating junk will do just fine
the jets have sunk, I'm left behind
I'm treading for my life believe me
How can I keep up this breathing

Not knowing how to think
I scream aloud, begin to sink
My legs and arms are broken down
With envy for the solid ground
I'm reaching for the life within me
How can one man stop his ending
I thought of just your face
Relaxed, and floated into space

*LET THE HURRICANE SET IN MOTION
Into The Ocean
Feb 2015 · 14.6k
#prom
Xyns Feb 2015
Why go to prom?
I'd be happier at home
Drinking and smoking
Being all alone
Feb 2015 · 3.4k
Corny/Lame
Xyns Feb 2015
Yours truly,
Forever and Always,
To infinity and beyond.*

P.S. I love you
(Sorry. That was really
Corny, lame, and
From a book
I've never even read.
But yeah..
I love you)
Feb 2015 · 1.7k
Hypochondriac
Xyns Feb 2015
What is, for you,
A raindrop
In a puddle

Is, for me,
A hurricane
Over the ocean

What is, for you,
A crack
In the pavement

Is, for me,
The beginning
Of an earthquake

What is, for you,
A simple,
Minute step

Is, for me,
A monumental,
Colossal devotion
Feb 2015 · 558
Weirdo
Xyns Feb 2015
The smallest things
Can **** my happiness
And cause me to cry

I obsess over
The tiniest things
And can't stop it

And I know I'm odd
Everything about me
Is weird and freakish

I've honestly tried
To change myself
And become normal

But I always seem to fail
I suppose that's why
I'm all alone now..
Feb 2015 · 414
Untitled
Xyns Feb 2015
"I'm supposed to be in love
But I'm numb again"
Rihanna
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