Love you! With an exclamation mark; like it’s far away.
Distant with the things I do and the things I say.
Squandering my time; gone with the wind. A decay.
Every day is the same thing on replay.

I’m awake and I’m caked in
a place where I’ve grown.
Where fights became earthquakes,
the same place I call home.

Molehills became mountains,
and the trees became gallows.
My personality weakened,
and all that was left there was shallow.

A proper diagnosis,
That says I’ll be addicted or dead.
It only took a lifetime of neurosis,
And a psychiatric ward bed.

To be molded by your worst traits,
To be malleable by the bad.
To shatter under the worst.
To be battered and sad.

You don’t need to self destruct to get attention
You don’t need to
Hurt yourself
Cut yourself
Starve yourself
Endanger yourself
Sabotage yourself
To get attention

You deserve attention
You’re worth noticing
You’re worth caring for
You are worth them sticking around

It's been five days
Since I've had a proper meal.
I won't eat. 
Those three words don't mean 
I won't eat at all,
Only enough so I don't die. 
I eat a bowl of fruit and a sandwich everyday. 
Lots of beverages! 
Don't forget!
I've learned to like the feeling of my empty stomach. 
I am now conscious of the feeling of my bones. 
It's been five days since I have had a proper meal. 
Weird how in so little time I'm already feeling thin. 
I don't look different I know, but I feel different. 
I know it's not healthy but maybe one more day. 
One more day and you might like me. 
One more day and you might like me the way you like her. 
The tall thin one. 
I won't eat
Because you didn't know how much it killed me when you looked at her the way I looked at you. 
Maybe next time you see me you'll ask, "how did you do it? What happened?"
 And I will simply reply,
I won't eat.

You said you were my friends,
You said that you'd tell me everything you thought about me,
You made promises to me that you couldn't keep..
It's my fault for believing you.

I believed every lie you said,
I even thought you were my bestest friend.
I loved you like a sister,
I thought you were my family.

I trusted you for the longest time,
But you've always been keeping secrets, haven't you?
You left out how much you hated me,
How much pain I caused you just by being near.

Were all your kind words and laughs... were they all fake?
Was I living a lie that I thought was right?
All I've ever done was wipe the tears from your cheeks...
But I was the one who caused them, wasn't I?

You told me ever stupid thing I've done wrong,
You yelled at me and shattered my heart,
You made me look like a fool in front of the entire class.
You laughed at me when you saw the tears in my eyes.

I learned the truth this day, this very day,
That every kind thing I've ever done was ridiculed.
That two of my best friends talked about me behind my back,
And pointed out my every flaw.

When you pointed out all my mistakes,
All the pain I never tried to cause,
You grinned and I cried.
My heart broke while yours grew stronger.

Nobody spoke up to defend me,
They just listened to your every word, believing every bit.
I can't even look myself in the mirror now,
Without my heart crumbling to dust.

All my friends that I've ever loved....
Why do they tell other people what I do, instead of coming to me?
Instead of telling me that I should fix it,
They talk behind my back... stabbing me with a ****** knife.

I've lost all control know, I can't take this pain anymore...
Why have you done this?
Was your goal, from the very beginning, aimed to break my heart?
I think, I understand now, whose fault it really is...

It's my fault for believing all my friends when they said I could trust them.
*(True story that happened about a month ago.

Well, what did I expect?