I want to scream until my lungs give out,
collapse on the floor,
tear off this paper-thin smile
and spit out the lie of “romanticizing life.”

“It’s just you and me again,” I mutter,
staring at the mirror, a blank, colorless canvas.
Eyes hollow, face streaked with tears and a half-formed grin.
F*ck, you’re unbearable. I want to punch you so bad.

If I stop, is it release or just cowardice?
The thought drifts away like smoke.
I drag myself upright,
patching the cracks with silence,
fastening the mask once more.

The mirror waits,
its hollow twin whispering,
“If not you, then who?”
breath heavy, fingers trembling on the doorknob.
Feeding myself lies before stepping out.
“It’ll get better…” I promise myself
like a broken prayer
time and time
and time
again.

The sky is dark and gray,
with little hints of fading rays.
My jeans are soaked from the stubborn rain
as I move through traffic’s lane.

Loneliness hums in quiet loops,
My mind rewinds old nested truths.
Perhaps this weather fits me well,
I mutter low, with no one to tell.

I too reach out for something true.
To hold, to keep, to carry through.
To feel, to fly, to simply be,
Like wind-swept grass that runs with me.

And maybe hope’s still in my chest.
A part of me that never left.

I wander endlessly through time,

Searching for the meaning I've yet to find.

Rekindling the quiet flame within me

A small hand slipped into mine,

As I was caught in a moment of cacophony

The younger me, smiling with bucktooth wonder.

I nodded, swallowed my doubts, and pressed on.

"We'll find it soon buddy. Thank you for waiting. "

I don’t know anymore, how to feel something again
Feels like I’m drifting, lost in outer space, to god knows where
Unanchored from everything, yet my chest is heavy, eyes are lifeless
Each day repeats itself, every conversation feels hollow, insincere

I bury myself in work, not to build, but to forget
Laughter doesn’t echo, smiles barely stretch, just motions
And if I disappear, would it really matter?
It’s not selfish, just silent. Space swallows sound, and maybe it swallows me too.

In this silence, I lay dormant—
I no longer expect anymore.
There’s no pull, no push, just a vast, empty stretch.
The stars hang motionless, indifferent
and I’m no different

On empty streets where shadows roam,
I see your face in every soul.
It’s been four months since our goodbye,
Yet the ghost of you still grips my mind.

Your smile, your laugh, that careless spark,
The paths we wandered, the dreams we shared
No song can drown the storm in my mind
No matter how loud, you always arrive.

I miss you, but I don’t long for you—
Yet every step, I stumble through.
In every shadow, every flickering light,
I’m haunted by the ghost of you

I tell myself I’ve let you go,
But deep down, I think we both know.
It’s colder now, these nights I roam,
Even the stars have lost their glow.

Here again, it’s all so familiar,
The empty space I carved for myself,
A void that brings me solace,
Far from the world's embrace.

This time, I entered willingly,
Unlike before, when ignorance guided me.
It’s different now; I can choose to leave,
Yet in this toxic, dreadful silence, I find comfort.

No longer weeping in the corner,
Everything shifts, but the feeling persists,
The heaviness in my chest—
As if the rain never ceased.

Bloodstained puddles on the floor,
Grim reminders of past hardships.
Each reflection a testament,
To all I've survived.

Maybe I’ll linger a bit longer,
Wandering endlessly through this void.
I’ll escape eventually, won’t I?
I can get out… right? Someone... please...

I once feared looking at the sky,
Afraid it would swallow me whole
I always covered my ears,
Believing if I couldn’t hear, words wouldn’t hurt

I numbed my heart, closed every door,
Isolating myself from life’s embrace.
A hollow shell with a fire long extinguished,
But then, your presence sparked a change.

I thought I was beyond feeling or hearing
Yet your touch opened my eyes to the sky.
I hesitated, nervous, but you held on tight,
With a smile you ran straight towards the light

My heart races, unfamiliar and wild,
Your eyes invite me to follow your lead.
I readied myself, slowly walking, running, leaping
What is this sense of freedom I feel, its warm

I don't know where we are going,
But there's no longer room for doubts
With you, I’ll soar to unknown heights,
I'm not afraid to take a step forward