lonely when you're with none
lonelier when with wrong one
and the loneliest when not
understood by the people your own..

The sweet, sweet smell of a fresh rainfall
I breathe her in as I recall
A lingering kiss
A feel of bliss
Sheltering by the old stone wall

Rainfall bouncing on the ground
Takes me back that sound, that pound
to soaking skin
Clothes that cling
Laughing, running. Love we’d found

Rainfall heavy as my heart,
River of my tears
A soft goodbye
A wondering why
Rain reminds me we’re apart

2/2/19 JG

I want to hide,
Behind the warmth
Of your smile.

In a world,
That at times,
Seems
Made of ice,
Do you think
There's a chance,
We could
Light a fire
Tonight?

I have lost it all before,
What's the difference if once more?

To you I gave my little trust,
Now you've thrown it on the floor.

Don't worry,
I'll pick it up, once and evermore.

I will reassemble my heart,
and my mind, and my core.

For I am stronger,
Than my pains of yore.

~Robert van Lingen

I'm suicidal
I'm no more hiding
The pain inside me
Consuming me
Overruling me
What does it feel like being free?
Free of secrecy
Free of pity
Free of poverty
Free of being lonely
Of being unhappy
Free of self-doubt
Self-hate
Being unconditionally loved
How does that feel?
Does it feel free?
Or will love never be enough?
Or pain-free?
Love is depressing
For some a blessing
For others a lesson
But for me, its just another form of abuse
I feel used
Mis-used
Re-used
Confused
Love is abuse
Over-used
Suicide is my only way through

In my estranged daze,
I now fall from the floor,
The utter sadness flows in like a summer's rain.

It is okay, poor one,
My child, it will soon be over.
And soon you will grow.

So be kind,
You cannot drown in tears of joy.

~Robert van Lingen

Peace, my steel-eyed friend,
You are ever present,
Yet eternally elusive.

Devilishly tugging away at my silken heartstrings,
You play,
Tease my fragile soul.