I know this is how you felt,
I know everyone feels things differently.
But I know now, this is how you felt.

And my God,
Am I ever sorry.

"Time waits for no one."*

But I'm not time, so I'll wait for you.

I watched the sun
It set fire to the sky
But it cannot compare
It is nothing like you and I

The black v's move in the distance
It is like the painting I once made
Nothing but dots
In the fiery sky

The mountains unmoving
Sit so still, never changing
When the land is shadowed
Hush greets the arising moon

i have been searching
for a warm hand to hold
a smile in the dark
all of the things i hear about
and here you are

i am too much to hold but you are trying
i cannot look right into your eyes
because i am scared
but you are patient

you kiss me in the middle of the street at 3 AM
you play the piano and that means something
i am a beginner and this is hard
you are right here next to me and i am quiet
for once i am so quiet

there's no longer enough sleeping
medication to put me to sleep for a couple
of hours
the doses aren't strong enough to knock
me out of staring at my fears on the
blank ceiling
toss
turn
bury my head
check my phone
repeat
i still can't escape the fears
the ones that i make up in my head
and the ones that happened once before
my biggest fear?
losing you again
but i believe you when you say
you're not going anywhere this time
and knowing that puts me to ease tonight

Our relationship took a bullet
It went strait for me
but it wasn't a fatal wound
I didn't get hit in the heart
I was shot in the stomach
You could have saved me
**but instead
you left me to bleed out