I sit upon a pedestal
My obsession with attention is rooted deep
So deep, that it doesn't appear to you

My pedestal draped in black cloth
Never stands out
You only notice it when you are too far in

My narcissism lines my insides
And so does my habit of manipulation
It runs it’s mouth 70% of the time

And I wish it didn’t
It’s hurting my look
Of being “too kind for my own good”

I’m deceptive, like I said
It’s in my nature
So don’t be surprised if you get your heart broken

Watching you watch me is fascinating
I enjoy the feelings of your eyes on my skin
And your judgement on my mind


You hated me, now you are dating me
You were always so lame, now you’re just crazy
But I’m not running away


Take me away
Your vibes are killing me
And I’m enjoying that fun feeling


You called me digusting then you kissed me
Twofaced, in a beautiful way
I don’t mind being hated as long as it’s always you doing the hating


Your anger is dangerously intoxicating
Every flame is so warm and every tense moment so exciting
I never thought I’d fall for a killer like you, but look at me


Traveling a finger across your sharp edges
I’ve been getting shivers, and **** I’m quivering
You’re turning my universe inside out


Don’t worry now
That cut didn’t hurt me, nor those harsh words
It’s just a different kind of world than others

Head cut off
Mouth ripped out
Left without a way to cough
Without a way to pout

Forced to keep quiet
By the rulers of the ears
No place to riot
People are running from their own fears

Officials hate a mess
People don’t like a lot of wrecks
So the only way is to suppress
At least in the eyes of the press

Live life by the bottle
Let it lead you to hell
You can drink if you need a model
But you have to become a shell

I’ve been drinking like I’m a prince about to be king
Sneaking bottle after bottle without (quite yet) regret
Take swig after swig with grim
Trying so desperately to forget

The regret comes later
When the only thing I’ve forgotten is who I am
I’ve started to become the manipulator
And that’s never been my jam

The only thing I can say
Is I’m broke without pay
And now I talk with a sway
I’m telling you, I’m not the alcoholic you see today

I’ve been so depressing
I’m making people worried
I’m merely expressing
And people don’t agree with what I’ve perceived

I’m seeing forgotten backpacks in the streets
And nooses being sold for a $1 each
But people don’t see the teens committing these deeds
They only ever see what’s on their feed

Listen, I’m just a teen, it’s true
I’ve got a backpack just like you
But I’ve been seeing the clues
And I’m not in line with letting kids die blue

I’m telling you, everyone’s gone blind
And you need to open your eyes
It’s time to be revived
So rise

It’s time to wake up

Wrapped in metal wire
Jagged edges keep me contained
I intend to fly higher
But I’ve been drained

I’m stuck on the ground
String wrapped around your arm
I’m being drowned
Within an emotional storm

Your tears bring me down
And hope gives me nightmares
Let me go without a frown
Only set free with new mindsets

Just a balloon wrapped in a razor blades
And barbed wire

He must
Always be
So cold
Every outfit
Includes
Sleeves
And pant legs

He smiles
He jokes
But he doesn't
Always get close

Back lined
With
Bruises and cuts
Scars
And new marks
Unseen
Covered carefully
With fabrics
Mixed with
Disorders and stories