Cold hearted,
Iced blood,
These feelings of pain, come in like a flood.

Blue veins,
****** lips,
Take some more pills, go for a kip.

Visable rib cage,
Hunched back,
Skin and bones,
Smoke some crack.

Black eyes,
Bruised lies,
Smoking in chains to pass the time.

Winter comes,
Cold and ******,
I sit here alone,
Waiting for you to come home.


Christmas arrives,
I wonder why,
You had to leave,
And no longer breathe.

So, I'll stay in bed all day,
Put the gifts away,
And remember the day,
That you said you'd stay.

Plans and dreams,
Turned to nothing,
Shadows in the night,
Seemed to give me a bit of delight.
You walk away.
I was speechless with nothing to say.
Now my friends are the shadows.
I'm tired of people who just come and go.
You finally love somebody.
Then they leave you trapped in your mind.
Lately it's hard to find,
Any noises but the soft whispers.
The ones only I can hear.
No longer safe in my head.
Not yet to the point of wishing I was dead.
Thoughts always spinning around.
My body was Nowhere near the ground.
High above reality.
Never realized what was happening.
All I knew was I had her and she had me.
But that was never the true story.
Two broken souls.
No story to be told.
Both too broken to ever love.
Putting there future behind them.
Only to return to the emptiness.

A.S
a random write. Nothing true about it.

I woke up for the thousand time,
- a voice telling me it’s going to be ok -
And knowing that some days
all you need to conquer
                                       is yourself:
that space in you where new dreams are born,
that path taking you somewhere,
- the one filled with the craters of your fallen hopes -
But still leading you
to that corner of your soul
where not historical battles are won,
Just some battles. Yours.

I am the little child
sitting alone on a bench,
waiting for someone -
silently crying for fear of the dark

I am the teenager
finding herself at a crossroad,
learning how to make decisions

And I am the woman
smiling at the rain,
facing responsibility and consequences.

I am the child
dancing for joy
when seeing a flower bloom

And the teenager
rejoicing in her own recklesness

And I am the woman
loving life and people -
And all of this
In the neverending dance of each day.

The day you write a poem
is like no other!
It's like running through a dark corridor
and then you open a door
to this room full of light
that shines through you!
And you find yourself
conjuring words of hope and joy
fascinated in front of the endless
*beauty of life

I'm so tired.
Not the tired that people
Normally say to express themselves;
Not "I've been working" tired.
Not "I need sleep" tired.
(Though I do need some..)
My kind of tired
Is deep within my soul.
Like someone has taken knives
And chains a-and whips and... and ropes
And tortured my poor soul.
Which, I suppose they have.
And by they, I mean him.
And also myself.

He cut into it with his lies,
He cut it out of me, my soul,
And held his prize for all to see.
Torturing me with memories,
Little things;
Sometimes it's a song,
Other times it's a phrase.
But most often,
It's the shame and regret I feel.

The shame of saying those ***** things;
The regret of ever even saying hello.
The shame of being so stupid,
And not seeing him for what he was.
What he is.
The pain I brought to my family;
All of my self-esteem- gone.
The harm I brought to my wrist
As I sought for a way out.
Some days, it's harder than others;
But all of my days are dark.

Except for when I forget
For that brief moment what I did,
And then the light shines through.
I'm smiling at him;
Laughing, even.
His eyes are my saving grace,
And his smile brings me joy;
He makes me forget all of those things,
Even if it's just for a moment.
And when those feelings,
Those memories,
Those things resurface,
He simply smiles at me and says:
*"I still love you, no matter what."